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这段时间 家里气氛很诡异 It's a really weird time in the household
因为柯林 · 鲁宾逊已经撒手人寰 because Colin Robinson is no longer with us.
我是说 吸血鬼对于死亡已经是司空见惯 I mean, vampires are no strangers to death.
他们每天都在和死在他们手上的人打交道 They deal with it every day with the people that they kill.
但是当他们中的一份子死去的时候 But when they lose one of their own,
他们会手足无措 they just don't know how to deal with it.
事实上 他们的传统葬礼 I mean, their only funeral-type tradition
只是拍一张新的全家福 is that they get a new portrait made
当然不包括刚死的那个 with all of them except for the newly deceased,
我认为这种处理失去亲人痛苦的方式 and I don't think that's a really healthy way
是不健康的 of dealing with the loss of a family member.
也许我们应该在房间里转转 Perhaps we'd all like to go around the room
每个人都说些缅怀柯林 · 鲁宾逊的话？ and each one of say something that we liked
-哦 滚开 吉尔莫 -about Colin Robinson? -Oh, leave us alone, Guillermo.
你让大家都很扫兴 You're giving everyone a big bummer.
她说是就是 When she's right, she's right.
- 他有必要加入吗? -没必要 Should he even be here? - I know.
我觉得这应该是一幅“只有吸血鬼”的全家福 I did think this was sort of a "vampires only" portrait.
嗨 他是团队中很重要的一员 Hey, he is a valued member of the team
绝对有权加入这张全家福 and has every right to be in this portrait.
尽管他是一条狗 Even though he is a dog.
我说的不是那条狗 你这个笨蛋 I wasn't talking about the dog, you halfwit,
我说的是吉尔莫 I was talking about Gizmo.
好吧 这儿需要吉尔莫 Yes, well, Gizmo needs to be here
来管着地狱犬 to help control the Hellhound.
如果他们是在说自己的感受 If they talked about their feelings,
那么他们的情绪就在恢复 then the healing could begin.
吉尔莫 Guillermo,
你的地狱犬在到处瞎逛 your Hellhound is wandering around
还在地板上撒尿 and pissing all over our floors.
等他们恢复了 就会意识到 And once they're healed, they would realize that
话说得有点过了 the dynamic's a little off.
所以也许他们需要一个新的吸血鬼 So maybe they need to make a new vampire.
我只是听说的 我知道.. I-I just heard it, and I know...
我知道你们在想什么 I know what you're thinking,
但我真的认为 想复兴的话 but I truly believe that that's what's needed
那才是我们需要的 而且那是我应得的 to really restore-- And I deserve it.
♪如果你想活得长就别唱歌♪ ♪ Don't sing if you want to live long♪
♪他们不需要你的歌♪ ♪ They have no use for your song♪
♪ 殒命 断气 归于极乐♪ ♪ You're dead, you're dead, you're dead♪
♪你已经撒手人寰 脱离这个大千世界♪ ♪ You're dead and out of this world♪
♪如今你的希望和怜悯都烟消云散♪ ♪ Now your hope and compassion is gone♪
♪你出卖自己的梦想给了大千世界♪ ♪ You sold out your dream to the world♪
♪ 死者吧 死者吧 死者吧 ♪ ♪ Stay dead, stay dead, stay dead♪
♪你已经死了 离开了这个世界♪ ♪ You're dead and out of this world.♪
翻译：long lived kid/C路粒子/添爵
总监：微光倾城
吸血鬼生活 第三季 第十集[本季终]
是的 我在《禁足生活》第二季 Yeah, I took up painting
开始学习画画 during season two of Grounded for Life.
作为一个演员 你会花很长时间 As an actor, you spend a lot of time
坐在工作室里 等着他们 sitting around your trailer, waiting for them
开始一个场景什么的 to light the next scene or whatnot,
所以我从布利克买了一些画笔和指导书 so I got some brushes and a how-to book from Blick,
我觉得我已经小有成就 and I think I've gotten pretty good.
这是《禁足生活》演员阵容 This is the cast of Grounded for Life.
天啊 杰克和格里芬太古怪了 Oh, my God, Jake and Griffin were so squirrely,
我会说“听着 这么的” I was like, "Look, here's the deal.
“我要拍张照片 然后你们就可以滚蛋了 "I'm gonna take a picture, and then you guys can fuck off
想做什么就做什么” and do whatever you want to do."
我照着照片画了一副画 I finished the painting from a photo, but you know,
现在很多大师都是这么做的 that's the way a lot of the masters work now.
这是影城雷德福的大门 This is the front gate of Radford in Studio City.
光线从行政大楼反射出来 I was really happy with the way the light reflected
是这幅画的亮点 off the admin building that day.
我想我真的捕捉到了这个瞬间 I think I really captured it.
这是我们ER剧组的灯光师 This was a gaffer I worked with on ER.
那家伙有一张很迷人的脸 The guy had just such an amazing face,
我盯着他看 I was just staring at it.
我在镜头前盯着看 I was staring at it when I was on camera,
这会让我惹上麻烦的 你知道吗？ which would get me in trouble, you know?
但我觉得我真的画出了他的神韵 But I think I really got his essence.
所以当这帮人说他们需要 So when the gang here said that they needed
一幅新的肖像画时 我说我乐意效劳 a new portrait done, I said I'd be more than happy
因为在下次的全球吸血鬼理事会 to stick around and do it because I had some downtime
和下个月要拍的两集电视剧之间 between the next meeting of the Worldwide Vampiric Council
我刚好有一段休息时间 and the two-episode arc I booked on SVU next month.
你们肯定记得 我在90年代就拍过了MTV You gotta remember I came up with MTV in the '90s,
好像叫“出租司机吉米的 where they were like, "Go shoot 15 hours
15个小时” "of Jimmy the Cab Driver,
然后我们再想想把它挂在哪里” and then we'll figure out where to stick it later,"
- 但是当我拍《禁足... -哦 -but when I got Grounded... - Oof.
- 这个混蛋快把我逼疯了（字幕君同感） -我知道 -This buhbutz is really killing me. -I know.
是吧? 我是说我喜欢电影 Right? I mean, I like the cinema,
但不需要知道香肠的做法 but don't need to know how the sausage is made.
是的 这有点麻木不仁了 Yeah, and it's kind of insensitive.
我的意思是 我们都还在为柯林 · 鲁宾逊的死 I mean, we're all still mourning the death
-哀悼 -我没有 -of Colin Robinson. -I'm not.
呃 这就是我要说的 Well, that's what I'm talking about.
我们得谈谈 We need to talk about that.
- 你现在的感受... -我们不需要谈 -How you're feeling... -We don't need to talk
任何事情 about anything.
我们正在让人画肖像 We are having our picture painted.
很快我们会有一张没有柯林 · 鲁宾逊照片 Then we will have a picture that Colin Robinson is not in,
然后我们就可以永远忘记他 and we can forget about him forever,
这会让我们好受些 and this will heal us.
我们为什么要这么着急呢？ Why did we have to rush it?
尸体才刚刚开始发臭 The corpse has barely begun to stink,
而且道士史蒂夫还在 and we've got the Tao of Steve
- 给我们画肖像 -又来了 -painting our portrait. - Oh, here we go.
娜嘉在用一个笑话来掩饰她的真实感情 Nadja's masking her true feelings with a joke.
那不是玩笑 有笑点才叫玩笑 That was not a joke. A joke has a punchline.
只用一个小东西碰一下你的蛋蛋 And you wouldn't know a punchline if it ran over
不能算是一个笑点 your scrotum with a penny farthing!
哦 抱歉 但那太搞笑了 Oh, I am sorry, but that was a good one.
而且 我就喜欢仇恨的气氛 Also, I feast upon hate.
你们听好了? 去他妈的这一切！ You know what? Fuck this whole thing!
去你的! 去你的! 去你的！ Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!
没你事儿 去你的 去你的！ You're cool. Fuck you, and fuck you!
- 去他妈的! -哇 -Fuck all this shit! -Whoa.
你不能这样冲我发火 You are not storming away from me.
是我在冲你发火 和你说不到一块儿去！ I am storming away from you, but in a different direction!
- 嘿 哇 哇 哇 -去你的 -Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. -Fuck you.
你知道吗 也许我们应该 You know what, maybe we should just
休息五分钟 冷静一下 take five, shake it off.
当他说”带走五” 五什么？ When he says "take five," five of what?
带去哪里？ And where are we taking them?
过去的一年 我很难熬 This last year, it has not been easy on me.
每次对爱情的追求 My search for love has
都被阻挠了 been stymied at every turn.
- 我是同性恋 -你确定吗？ -I'm a lesbian. -Are you sure?
确定以及肯定 Definitely sure.
你愿意赏脸 Would you do me the honor of being
做我的吸血鬼新娘吗？ my vampire bride?
我以前结过婚 I was married before.
由于了解了宇宙大爆炸理论 I discovered that there is no meaning or purpose
我找不到活着的意义 to the universe,
和目标 because of the Big Bang Theory.
最重要的是 柯林 · 鲁宾逊的死 And on top of all that, the death of Colin Robinson--
我必须承认 对我打击很大 it has, I must confess, hit me quite hard.
生命是宝贵的 Life is precious.
即使是所谓的永生也可以在眨眼间 Even so-called eternal life can be snuffed out
烟消云散 at a moment's notice.
柯林 · 鲁宾逊的头爆成一堆粘液 Colin Robinson's head imploding into a pile of goo
让我意识到 我要充分享受我的生活 has made me realize that I need to make the most of my life.
所以我决定离开斯塔顿岛 Which is why I've decided to leave Staten Island
- 周游世界 -什么？ -and travel the world. -What?
去看看这里或者其他国家的大峡湾 Visit the Great Fjords of whatever country they're in.
在船上找一份打捞塑料 Get a job on one of those boats that collect plastic
- 的工作 -你到底在说什么？ -from the ocean. -What the hell are you talking about?
- 吉尔莫 我不是已经告诉你了吗? -没有 -Guillermo, did I not tell you all this already? -No.
- 抱歉 能让我们单独谈谈吗 -抱歉 -Sorry. Would you mind giving us a moment? -Sorry.
能给我们一分钟吗？ Can you just give us one minute?
- 非常感谢 -感谢 -Thank you so much. - Appreciate it.
小心地毯 Careful with the rug.
你现在的决定没有理性 You can't make any rational decisions right now
因为你面对的是柯林 · 鲁宾逊的死 because you're dealing with Colin Robinson's death
你在逃避自己的感受 and you're running away from your feelings.
那又怎样? 我讨厌我的感受 Yeah. So what? I hate my feelings.
你知道吗 这个计划听起来很棒 You know what, this plan, it sounds great out loud,
但我...我不能放下手头的事 but I-I, I just can't drop everything that I'm doing.
我有责任 你懂得 职责 I have duties, you know. Responsibilities.
就好像 我妈还在这儿 我不能就这么一拎包 Like, my mom is here. I can't just pack a bag
就立马跟你去周游世界 and go on a world tour with you at the drop of a hat.
你不需要跟我走 You're not coming with me.
什么 What?
我需要摆脱你才可以重新 You are one of the things I need to get away from
开始新生活 to make a fresh start.
我不是针对你 No offense.
好吧 那 你打算怎么旅行？ Okay, well, how you gonna travel?
就在晚上? 难道你就这么带着 Just by night? You're just gonna carry
老祖宗的泥土和你的棺材到处走? your ancestral dirt with you and your coffin wherever you go?
-这... 这也太疯狂了吧 -对 没错 -That-that's insane. -Yes, you're right.
还有很多细节需要搞清楚 There's a lot of details to figure out.
而你要帮我搞明白 And you are going to figure them out for me.
-噢 真是受宠若惊啊 -善始善终是你最后的职责 -Oh, surprise, surprise. -As your last duty.
我 亲爱的 吉尔莫 My sweet, sweet Guillermo.
你不明白 是因为？ You don't understand because?
我不是吸血鬼 I'm not a vampire.
没错 信我 Yes! Trust me,
娜嘉和拉兹洛 他们老早就想离开 Nadja and Laszlo, they are itching to get away.
这班假吸血鬼 在这存在只是一时半会儿 These vampire pods, they don't last forever.
而我 绝不会在这里成为最后一个 像个失败者那样 And I'm not gonna be the last one in here
落得孤苦零丁的下场 all alone like a fucking loser.
我宁愿不谈论施莫林 施莫宾森的死亡 I would rather not talk about the death
因为我亲爱的丈夫拉兹洛 of Shmolin Shmobinson because my dear husband Laszlo
正在经历一段艰难的时期 is having a bit of a hard time dealing with it.
你在说什么？ What are you talking about?
我说你现在处境艰难 I said you were having a hard time dealing
就那 柯林 鲁宾逊令人作呕的惨死 with Colin Robinson's very disgusting and tragic death.
那 就是胡说八道了 不是吗 亲爱的？ Well, that would be bullshit, then, wouldn't it, my darling?
我一点也不在乎 I couldn't give a tinker's fig.
总有人会死 People die all the time.
动物死亡 植物死亡 Animals die, plants die.
哦 小吉 是你啊 Oh, Gizmo, it's just you.
是挺重要的 It's kind of important.
你没看见我在对着镜头说话吗？ Can't you see I'm doing my talking-to-the-camera thing?
我很忙 嘘 I'm busy. Shoo!
吃午饭的时候我已经在妓院了 ...by lunchtime I was in the whorehouse
有两个妓女和三个男伴啊 with two prostitutes and three good-time boys.
等等 我刚想到个好点子 Hold on, I've just had the best idea.
我想有一件事可能会 I think I might know just the thing
让你开心起来 亲爱的 to cheer you up, my love.
我不需要什么开心起来 I don't need cheering up.
-我和你一起回老英格兰去旅行怎么样 -不 -How's about me and you take a lovely little trip back to merry old England? -No.
我们可以坐一辆红色的巴士里面做爱 We could get a red bus and make love in it.
我们可以叫一辆黑色的出租车里面做爱 We could get a black cab and make love in it.
我们可以去杜莎夫人蜡像馆看看 We could go to Madame Tussaud's and look around.
如果是因为我挚友的死才需要 If I were to need rest and recuperation
我旅行放松的话 那该死的洞将会是 for my dear friend's death, that fuck hole would be
我在地球上最后一个选择的地方 the last place on Earth that I would choose to go back to.
你知道的 我立下了一个珍贵的誓言 You know this. I made a precious vow
-再也不要回去那了 -拉兹洛 -never to go back there again. -Laszlo! Ugh!
大不列颠? 更像是大不列颠的叮当 United Kingdom? United Ding-dong, more like.
娜嘉 娜嘉 我真的需要你的帮助 Nadja, Nadja, I really need your help.
是关于南多的 It's about Nandor.
我们就等着吧 我不知道 I suppose we just wait. I don't know.
我们有麻烦了 We have a problem.
你不是唯一一个有麻烦的人 小吉 You are not the only one with problems, Gizmo!
看看你 “噢 每个人都为我感到难过 Look at you. "Oh, everyone feel sorry for me
因为我是个可悲的人类 "'cause I'm a pathetic human,
“我不能飞 我所做的一切就是 "and I can't fly, and all I do is
整天坐在马桶上” sit on the toilet all day."
那我的需求呢? 看看这个 Well, what about my needs? Look. Look at this.
呃 不是这样的 Uh, that's not how that works.
-你来吧 -好 -Oh, you do it! -Okay.
这是一个玻璃镇纸 This is a glass paperweight,
这是电视控制器 and this is the TV control.
-我们把这个推一下... -搞那么多派头 -We push this in... -Patronizing.
...播放 ...and play.
-这不是在录鲁保罗的事吧? -不不 -This is not taping over RuPaul, is it? -No, no.
-因为我还没看最新的一集 -这是新的.. -'Cause I haven't seen the latest episode. -It's a fresh...
-好的 什么? -我们正在录像 -Okay, good. What? -We're recording.
来自安提帕克斯的娜嘉的 向你致以黑暗的问候 Dark greetings, Nadja of Antipaxos.
你现在一定知道我已经盯上你有一段时间了 You must know by now that I've had my eye on you for quite some time.
你在当地吸血鬼议会的工作 Your work on your local Vampiric Council
非常令人印象深刻 没错 女王 has been quite impressive. Yas, queen.
每个人都在谈论这件事 Everyone is going on about it.
因此 我们很高兴你能加入我们 And thus, we would be delighted for you to join us
在伦敦 在英国 in London, in England,
你会在那里得到其中一个 where you will take a position that ranks amongst
全世界最高的吸血鬼议会的职位 the highest of all worldwide Vampiric Council positions.
我们希望你们能尽快接受这份差事 We do hope you'll accept this offer promptly,
因为你知道 吸血鬼讨厌等待 because as you know, vampires hate waiting.
即使我们是不朽的 等待仍然令人烦厌 Even though we're immortal, waiting is just still a thing.
所以如果你尽快接受 So, if you accept, as fast as you can,
把你的获奖感言录在家用录像带上 然后 tape your acceptance speech on a VHS tape, and then
装进信封寄出 put it in an envelope and send it by mail,
最终它会送到我们手上的 and eventually it'll get to us.
这是你最后一次.. This is your last ch...
你也在考虑离开？ You're thinking of leaving, too?
我当然想离开 Of course I want to leave.
这是莫大的荣誉和机会啊 It is such a great honor and opportunity,
我终于有机会用我愚蠢的一生 and I would have a chance to finally do something
做点什么了 with my stupid eternal life.
但事实并非如此 But it is not to be.
-好 -什么?! -Good. -What?!
我是说 呃 为什么？ I mean, uh, why?
因为拉兹洛再也不会回英格兰了 Because Laszlo will never go back to England.
你听到他说的了 他已经发誓了 You heard him. He has sworn it.
但是我不能让他一个人呆着 But I cannot leave him on his own.
我在1924年度过了两周假期 You know, I went on holiday for two weeks in 1924,
我回来的时候 他都没吃过一次东西 and when I got back, he hadn't fed himself once.
他把所有的时间都花在写诗和手淫上 He spent all his time writing poetry and wanking.
所以 不 我不能去 So, no, I can't go.
你是说如果拉兹洛不去 So you're saying if Laszlo doesn't go,
那你肯定不会去了? then you certainly won't go?
我刚才就是这么跟你说的 I literally just said that to you.
我知道我看起来很惊慌 I know it seems like I'm panicking,
但我没有 我只是害怕 but I'm not panicking. It's just that I'm afraid
就像一个派对 一旦有人离开了 it's like a party; as soon as one person leaves the party,
另一个人决定他们也可以离开派对 another person decides it's okay for them to leave the party,
在你意识之前 整个派对就结束了 and before you know it, the whole party's over.
你花了12年的时间 And you devoted 12 years of your life
去过一定多的派对什么的 to a certain type of party,
不会就这样结束的！ and it's not gonna end like this!
对不起 Sorry.
对不起 我不是故意吓你的 Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you,
我只是有个问题 I just had a question.
如果这真的是和我们有关的事实 If this has anything to do with the fact that
我是不会让任何人碰柯林的尸体 I won't let anybody touch Colin Robinson's body,
但我自己还没有去过地下室 yet I myself have not been down to the basement
去表达我的敬意 我可以回答你 to pay my respects, I can answer that.
下面什么都没有 只有一袋皮 There's nothing down there. Only a bag of skin.
而且我觉得这是一种感伤的姿态 Plus I find that kind of sentimental gesture
真他妈俗气 fucking tawdry.
不 不 不是这样的 我不是 No, no, that wasn't it. I wasn't--
不 我只是想随便问问 No, it was just a random question that I was--
你觉得英格兰怎么样? 那是一个适合居住的地方吗？ What do you think about England? Is it a cool place to live?
不 这绝对不是一个适合居住的好地方 No, it is absolutely not a cool place to live.
-为什么不好 -你想知道更多关于 -Why not? -You want to know a story about
-英格兰和英格兰的处事方式吗? -是的 -England and the English way? -Yeah.
我曾经是一个俱乐部的成员 I used to be a member of a club.
伦敦舍伍德俱乐部 The Sherwood Club of London.
我父亲曾是一个俱乐部的成员 My father was a member of a club
叫做伦敦舍伍德俱乐部 called the Sherwood Club of London.
他父亲是一个俱乐部的会员 His father was a member of a club
叫做伦敦舍伍德俱乐部 called the Sherwood Club of London.
-你明白我的意思吗 -我明白 -You get where I'm going with this? -I think so.
无论如何 这个俱乐部背叛了我 我被除籍了 Anyway, treachery was afoot, and I was expelled from the Sherwood Club of London.
这个决定是全体一致通过的 The decision was unanimous.
所以我离开英国来到这里 So I left the UK and came here,
来到新世界 to the New World.
来到机会遍地的这里 To the land of opportunity,
我听说 男的.. 甚至连一些女的都 where men-- and, I'm told, some women--
可以成为自己城堡的国王 can be kings of their own castle.
在这儿 实业家们甚至会和扫烟囱的打交道 Where industrialists can rub shoulders with chimney sweeps.
我已故的朋友沃尔特 惠特曼跟我说过 My late friend Walt Whitman said to me,
- “拉斯洛 你最好把那个收起来...”-你是说 -"You'd better put that away, Laszlo..." -So you're saying
你永远不会回到英格兰 you would never, ever go back to England.
对 Yes, I am.
我永远 I would never, ever,
永远 永远 永远 ever, ever, ever
不回英国 go back to England.
好 这就对了 Well, there you have it.
哦 Oh.
-铃声响了 -There's the bell.
现在还是回到画像上来 Time to get back to the portrait.
让他滚 Tell him to fuck off.
-我现在很忙 -那好吧 -I'm busy here. -All right.
而且 之前谈到老家 Plus, that conversation about my homeland
已经让我很痛苦了 好吧 has given me the pip.
-确实 -我得花十分钟平复一下 -Of course. -I shall need ten minutes to recover.
你好 Hel-lo.
你英语进步得很快啊 Your English is coming along nicely.
-嘿 大家伙儿 -嘿 -嘿 -Hey, guys. -Hey. - Hey...
你没发现吗? 你进步了 You see? You have made progress.
我得说一句 吸血鬼老是 I have to remind myself that vampires always make
把计划制定得不切实际 而且从来没有完成过 these grandiose plans, but they never see them through.
-一切都会好起来的 -这是一张地图 -Everything's gonna be A-ok... - It's a map.
这是一件斗篷 It's a cape.
-这可是地图! -我跟你说 -It's a mape! -I'll tell you what,
-南多 你要是去环游世界的话就酷毙了 -谢谢 -world travel looks good on you, Nandor. -Thank you.
你好 吉列尔莫 有个好消息 Oh, hi, Guillermo. Good news.
她是国际吸血鬼旅行的专家 She is an expert on international vampire travel.
是真的 我给吸血鬼议会全员都安排了旅行 It's true. I book all the trips for the Vampiric Council.
-这算是我工作里唯一有趣的地方了 -是的 -Really the only fun part of my job. -Yes.
不管怎样 方方面面我们都弄清楚了 Anyway, we figured out all the details
-所以你什么都不用管 -不用 -so you don't have to worry about a thing. -No.
我是说 我觉得你考虑得不周全 I mean, I don't think you've thought of everything.
-我的意思是... -你想说棺材? 这个还不容易 -I mean, what about... -The coffin? Super easy.
只要国际提货单在手 All you need is international bill of lading,
-就行了 -真的吗？ -and that's kind of it. -Really?
给你个建议 -你说 Here's a tip. -Yes?
你可以把祖宗的泥土放在杰斯伯里 Put your ancestral soil in your Jansport
这样故乡的土就永远在你背上 不管你在哪儿 都可以躺下 so it's always on your back, and you can just lie down anywhere.
-杰斯伯是什么? -是背包 -是背包 -What's a Jansport? -It's a backpack. -It's a backpack.
-杰斯伯是名牌 -是个儿童背包 -It's a very popular backpack. -It's a children's backpack.
太棒了 你真聪明 That's smart. That's very smart.
-大家都能想到 -咱们来庆祝一下吧 -Anyone could have thought of that. - Let's celebrate.
你听我说 Master, listen to me.
娜嘉和拉兹洛毕竟不会离开 Nadja and Laszlo aren't leaving after all.
所以你不用担心自己会孤单 So you don't have to worry about being all by yourself.
可是我现在很想去旅行 But I'm excited for this trip now.
对我来说 这将是一次真正的充满了美食 狩猎 和爱的旅程 It's gonna be a real eat, prey, love kind journey for me.
什么? 你想说的是祈祷吗？ What do you mean? You're gonna pray?
如果我捕杀人类 我吃什么呢 笨蛋？ Well, how am I gonna eat if I don't prey on people, dummy?
那么 你必须得坐火车 而且得挑晚上 Now, you must travel by railway and always at night.
只有这样才能保证安全 It's the only way to stay safe.
对了 坐火车更便宜得多 Plus, it's usually much cheaper.
我太激动了 Oh, I'm so excited.
我等不及想把世界七大奇迹都看了 I cannot wait to see all the wonders of the world.
罗得岛太阳神铜像 The Colossus of Rhodes.
空中花园 The Hanging Gardens of Babylon.
还有狮身人面像那完美的脸庞 The beautiful unmarred face of the Sphinx.
啊 干杯！ Ah, cheers to that!
-我们应该完成我们的肖像画 -来吧 各位！ -We should finish our portrait. - Come on, everybody!
-走? -当然 -Shall we? -Absolutely.
这里还有很多 And there are so many
很棒的吸血鬼宿主 wonderful vampire hosts
-我可以帮你介绍 -哦 真的吗 -I can hook you up with. -Oh, please.
我知道 你一直都想 You know, you spend your whole life wanting
在纽约进行狩猎 在布鲁克林 to shoot in New York; Brooklyn in this case.
我们还在斯坦纳工作室的时候 We were at Steiner Studios.
你发现自己远离家人 And then you find yourself so far from your family,
-感觉有点寂寞 -我必须得说点什么 -it gets kind of lonely. -I have to say something.
-对不起 多纳尔 · 罗格 -没关系 -I'm sorry, Donal Logue. -Quite all right.
因为柯林 鲁宾逊的死 I know that we're all a little bit shaken up
-我们都有点难过 -你自己说吧 -by the death of Colin Robinson. Speak for yourself.
我像修女的涂鸦一样干枯 I'm as dry as a nun's doodah.
无论如何 我们必须铭记 Well, regardless, we have to remember
自己降生的家庭 that there's the family that you're born into,
以及自行选择重组的家庭 and then there's your chosen family.
这才是我们 That's what we are.
像我们这样 由自己选择组成的家庭很少见 We're a chosen family, and it's a rare thing...
我拿到了英国的邀请函 I've been offered a job in England,
-我想搬过去住 -呜呼 -and I want to move there! -Whoo-hoo!
除非你从我的尸体上踏过去 Over my dead body.
现在 似乎每个人都有点上头了 Well, it seems everyone's getting into it now.
我决定要离开斯塔顿岛 I have decided to leave the island of Staten,
环游世界 重新找回自己 travel the world and rediscover my groove.
-拉兹洛 你太自私了 -多尔 她说得对 -You are so selfish, Laszlo! -DOLL She's right.
我发过誓说我再也不回那个破房子了 I made a vow never to return to that cack house
永远 永远不回 ever, ever again.
-为什么? -你自己清楚 -But why? -You know why.
-英国人就是一群阶级主义混蛋 -喂 喂 -The British are a pack of classist wankers. -Here, here.
那些混蛋居然把我 And those fuckers expelled me
-从舍伍德... -从舍伍德俱乐部除名了 -from the Sherwood... -From the Sherwood Club.
是的 我知道 你已经告诉我很多次了 Yes, I know. You have told me so many times.
我是跟你说过很多次了 Yeah, I've told you so many times,
但我没告诉过你原因 but I've never told you why.
现在我就要告诉你为什么 And now I will.
我一直以为那是因为 I always thought it was because of
那些妓女和那些皮肉生意 all the whores and the whoring.
她们根本就不在乎 They don't give a fuck about
亲爱的 那些妓女 whores and whoring, my darling.
根本就不在乎我是个吸血鬼 They didn't even care that I was a vampire.
可是 她们却在乎 What they did object to, however, was the fact
我和一个最美丽最单纯的女孩 that I fell in love and eventually married
坠入爱河并修成正果这件事 the most beautiful, simple girl.
那个女孩家族姓氏并不显赫 A girl with no surname,
也没有社会地位 no social standing.
大家都管叫她村姑 They actually called her a peasant girl.
虽然她来自地中海 A girl from a tiny village on a dirt island
一个岛上的小村庄 in the Mediterranean.
但她是我见过的女孩中 That girl is the most beautiful girl
最美丽动人的 I have ever known.
那个女孩的名字 是的 亲爱的 That girl's name-- yes, my darling--
-是我吗? -就是你 娜嘉 -Is my name? -Is your name. Nadja.
- 哦 天哪 -天哪 多纳尔 -Oh, snap. -Snap, indeed, Donal.
但是 宝贝, But, my dark baby,
我要回到英格兰 I will be returning to England to assume a position
去最高吸血鬼委员会就职 on the Supreme Vampiric Council.
等等 什么？ Wait, what?
我们将重新变成 We would be going back as the tip of the tops
上层阶级中的上层阶级 of the upper classes.
-真的? -是的 -Really? -Yeah.
一切都变了 变天了 Well, that changes pretty much fucking everything.
-算我一个 -不 不 拉兹洛 -Count me in. - No, no, Laszlo,
你发过誓说此生都不会 You made a lifelong vow to never go back
-回到那个鬼地方 你不记得了吗? -你难道没听到她刚才说什么吗？ -to that shithole, remember? -Didn't you hear what she just said?
我们马上就统治这个鬼地方 We're gonna rule the fucking place.
统治大不列颠 Rule Britannia!
-好的好的 -现在我准备好了 -Oh, okay, yeah. Oh, yeah. -Now I'm ready.
我准备好了 Now I am ready.
-太浪漫了 太好了 -是啊 来点吧 -So romantic. Great! - Oh, yeah, get some.
现在定下来了 我们都要离开这个地方了 It is decided, we will all move on from this place
-到别的地方重新部署 -是的 -and regroup elsewhere. -Yes. Whoo-hoo!
我觉得我们都应该停一下 深呼吸 I think we should all just take a second, breathe.
深呼吸 You know, just take a deep breath.
画像还没完成 所以我们可以.. And, I mean, the portrait's not even done, so we could...
-画像快完成了 -什么？ - No, it's almost done. -What?
没错儿 And that's that.
所以 不管你之前在做什么 So, you're all free to go about doing
你们自由了 whatever the hell it was you were doing before.
还有一件事 我刚收到经纪人的短信 Plus, I just got a text from my agent
我必须为 CBS 的试播节目录制一盘自拍带 that I have to do a self-tape for a CBS pilot,
我 罗格说完了 so Logue out.
总是和这个小淘气演戏 Always a drama with this little rascal.
我会搞定的 I will fix.
你知道吗 通常情况下有人心烦意乱的时候 You know, usually when someone is upset,
就会回到自己的房间 they go to their own room,
但我清楚你为什么来我房间 but I understand why you would come to my room,
因为它比你的房间要高级得多 as it is a far superior room to yours.
这一点或许会让你更加沮丧 Which probably makes you feel even more depressed.
-你是试图逗我开心吗? -吉尔莫 -Is this your attempt at cheering me up? -Guillermo...
你想让我们再打一次吗？ You want us to go through this one more time? Hmm?
外面是个非常危险的世界 It is a very dangerous world out there.
你在开玩笑吧? 是我 一直在保护你! You're joking, right? It's me who's been protecting you!
那又怎样 你赶走了几个杀手 谁在乎? So what, you shooed away some assassins; who gives a shit?
如果不是我 你现在已经死了 If it wasn't for me, you would be dead by now.
如果不是杀手干的 那就是我亲手干的 If not by assassins then by my very own hands
因为我就是 我再提醒你一遍 because I am, and I will remind you,
我是一个纯血吸血鬼杀手 by birth and lineage, a vampire killer.
你还活着的唯一原因是.. And the only reason you're alive is because...
我让你活着 I let you live.
你刚才说什么? What did you just say?
我说 你还活着的唯一原因 I said, the only reason you're alive
是因为 我 is because I
让你活下去 let you live.
我可怜的宝贝 My poor, dear thing.
你忘了我们催眠了你 You forgot that we hypnotized you
让你不可能对我造成物理伤害 to make it physically impossible for you to harm me
或者你的其他主人 or any or your masters.
你还记得吗？ Do you remember that? Hmm?
不 因为我们用了催眠术 No, because we used hypnosis.
催眠对我没用 Hypnosis doesn't work on me.
我只是让你有个心理安慰 你就不会觉得软弱了 I just let you think it did so you wouldn't feel weak.
我从不觉得软弱 我毛茸茸的小朋友 I never feel weak, my furry little friend!
不不不不不不 No, no. No, no, no, no, no, no.
主人 你的剑需要擦亮 Master, your-your sword needs polishing.
是吗？ It does?
-普兰查! -你敢! -Plancha! -Don't you dare!
生是亲信人 死也是亲信魂 Once a familiar, always a familiar!
你差点伤到约翰了【校对】 You almost hit John!
是的 是的 终于 Yes, yes, finally.
这就是我一直在等待的 This is what I've been waiting for.
-什么? -把十字架拿开 吉尔莫 -What? -Put the crucifix away, Guillermo.
你通过了测试 You have passed the test.
什么测试? What test?
我一直担心你有点心软 I have been worried that you have been going a little soft.
但今晚 你终于向我证明了 But tonight, you have proved to me finally
你能照顾好自己 that you can take care of yourself.
更重要的是 And more importantly,
你可以照顾我 you can take care of me.
吉尔莫 德拉 克鲁兹 Guillermo de la Cruz,
你愿意给我这个荣幸 will you do me the honor...
陪我周游列国吗？ of accompanying me on my journey around the world?
如果你现在害怕我.. If you're scared of me right now...
如果你能陪我走完这段旅程 If you accompany me on this journey,
当我们到达底格里斯河岸时 when we arrive at the banks of the River Tigris
在我的家乡古尔纳达尔 in my homeland of Al-Qolnadar,
你会单膝跪地 you will take a knee,
我会让你.. and I will make you...
成为吸血鬼 a vampire.
-真的? -言出必行 -Really? -My word is my bond.
那么好的 好 我当然会和你一起去 主人 Then yes. Yes, of course I'll go with you, Master.
我们有足够的时间来做这些事情 There will be plenty of time for that kind of thing.
-好吧 -好吧 -Right. -Well...
你该走了 开始做计划安排吧 you should go, start making arrangements.
是的 Yes.
让我们的伟大旅程开始吧! Let our great journey commence!
那个小混蛋想动的时候真的能动 That little fucker can really move when he wants to.
是的我会想念这房子但是.. Yeah, I'm gonna miss this house, but...
绝对不会忘记打扫它 definitely won't miss cleaning it.
对娜嘉和拉兹洛说再见是很悲伤的 It'll be sad to say bye to Nadja and Laszlo.
现在他们踏入新的旅程去了 They're off on a big adventure now,
所以我为他们感到高兴 so I'm really happy for them.
你他妈的敢 Don't you even fucking dare!
但我真正期待的是.. But the real thing I'm looking forward to is...
带着我的小南主人环游世界 traveling the whole world with my Nand-- master.
就我们两个 Just the two of us.
-主人 -什么事？ -Master. -Yes?
你得快点 我还得帮忙 You need to hurry up. I still have to help
娜嘉和拉兹洛把棺材搬上船 Nadja and Laszlo load their coffin into the boat.
然后你和我坐上午夜的火车 And then you and I are catching a midnight train.
我祖宗的泥土还要人挖呢 你为什么要帮他们？ Why are you helping them when my ancestral soil needs scooping?
因为这是我最后一次和他们说再见 Because it's the last time I can say goodbye to them.
-我以为你能理解 -噢 吉尔莫 -I thought you'd understand. -Oh, Guillermo.
好吧 去吧 Fine, I will allow it.
但是千万别以为我会养成 自己的土 But don't think for one second I'll be getting into the habit
-自己铲的习惯 -不 当然不是 -of scooping my own soil. -No, of course not.
噢 你能把我的行李送到火车站吗？ Oh. Can you take my luggage to the train station?
我不想把它带到码头去 I don't want to carry it to the dock
然后又得把它带回来.. and then have to carry it back...
嘿! 什么 我现在为你工作了吗？ Hey! What, am I working for you now?
我开玩笑的吉尔莫 I'm kidding, Guillermo.
我帮你拿包 I will take your bag for you.
好 谢谢 Okay, gracias.
-咚咚咚 无情先生 -嗨 -Knock, knock, Mr. Relentless. -Hi.
你好 我只是想说再见 Hello. I just wanted to say goodbye.
-谢谢 -我给你带了张小卡片 -Thank you. -I got you a little card.
一路顺风 "Bon voyage."
那些是戒灵的签名 Those are the wraiths' signatures.
-噢 -有些人不会写字 -Oh. -Some of them don't know how to write,
其他人曾经写过 但早已忘记 and others once did but have long since forgotten,
所以我把他们的爪子浸在墨水里 so I just dipped their claws in ink
然后让他们继续写 and let them go at it.
聪明 Smart.
谢谢你 Thank you.
我们现在拥抱还是...? Should we hug now, or...?
我觉得这也太过了 I think it would be too much.
-好的 -南多 我是来告别的 -Okay. -Nandor, I have come to bid you adieu.
我们已经认识很久了 You are a vampire I have known for a while now,
现在我们在一起的日子结束了 and now our time together has ended.
敬你! 再见! 哈 Cheers! Bye! Ha!
娜嘉 拉兹洛 我们走吧 Nadja, Laszlo, vámonos!
我们得走了 We have to go!
你竟敢对我大喊大叫 吉尔莫！ Don't you dare shout at me, Guillermo!
我可以两秒都不用就能吸干你 I could suck out all of your bodily fluids
所有的汁液 in less than two seconds.
-我会想念你的 -拉兹洛? -Not gonna miss that. -Laszlo?
你在哪儿? 该去.. Where are you? It's time to get to...
你在地下室干什么 亲爱的？ What were you doing in the basement, my dear?
没什么 只是在处理一些事情 Nothing. Just taking care of some business.
噢 我亲爱的 Oh, my sweet love.
你终于和你逝去的好友柯林 Were you finally saying goodbye to the decaying corpse
那具腐尸告别了吗？ of your very dead friend Colin Robinson?
差不多吧 Something like that.
你还好吧? 还需要更多点时间吗？ Are you okay? Do you need a bit more time?
倒用不着 我还可以 Not at all. I feel fine.
让我们摇滚起来吧 Let's rock and roll.
我们少了三箱毛片 We're missing three boxes of porn.
吉尔莫 我的东西 -Whoo -hoo! Guillermo, my things.
-来了 -闻闻大海的味道 -Coming. -Ah, smell the sea.
我确实喜欢旅行 I do love a journey.
然后我继续下载了 And I went ahead and downloaded
鲁保罗变装皇后秀的所有集数 all the seasons of RuPaul's Drag Race.
非常感谢你 吉尔莫 Thank you very much, Guillermo.
真是... 太好了 It has been... nice.
是的 Yeah.
亲爱的 当我们亲吻你的故土 My darling, I will see you
以及在那些蔑视你的人的骨头上做爱 when we are kissing the ground of your native land
会想念你的 and make love on the bones of those who scorned you.
一路平安 亲爱的 Safe passage, my darling.
-你加入吗? -是的 把我也锁上 -Are you in? -Yes. Lock me up.
好了 现在 快点 别胡闹了 把那个放进去 Right. Now, come on, don't fuck about, get that in.
如果你都不能进食 那为什么你需要水和食物呢？ Why do you have water and food if you can't even eat it?
这是奥利奥和山药 It's Oreos and Pedialyte.
在我的家乡 这些东西的价值相当于黄金 This stuff's worth its weight in gold where I come from.
我可以用它来换取任何我想要的东西 I can barter that and get anything I want.
-有道理 -就是这样 Makes sense. Well, this is it.
-确实 -好吧 -Indeed. -All right.
-是的 -好的 -Yeah. -Okay.
对 Right.
安全票价 Safe fare.
你也是 You, too.
有很多奥利奥 It's a lot of Oreos.
一定要照顾好我的妻子 Make sure you look after my wife.
什么? 啊! 不! 不不不！ What? Aah! No! No, no, no, no!
不 不 不！ No, no, no!
他妈的怎么回事? ! 主人！ What the fuck?! Master!
等等我！ Wait for me!
救命 让我出去 让我出去 拉兹洛 Help! Let me out! Let me out, Laszlo!
拉兹洛 不要! 在吗! Laszlo, please don't! Hello! Hello?
全部上！ All aboard!
吉尔莫！ Guillermo...!
你来还是留下？ You coming or staying?
我最亲爱的娜嘉 My dearest Nadja,
你一定是因为我的借口生气了 you must be deucedly cross with me for my subterfuge.
但是你身边有小吉 But you have Gizmo at your side,
如果他在横渡大西洋的时候 没有死或者 if he has not expired or drowned in his own filth
没淹死在自己的污物里 during the transatlantic crossing.
我确实在棺材底部开了个小洞 I did cut a small hole in the bottom of the coffin,
所以如果他准确找到那个洞 so if he is either accurate or persistent,
就会没事的 he should be fine.
但我离题了 But I digress.
吉尔莫是个很棒的保镖 Guillermo is a damn good bodyguard.
他会保护你的安全 He will keep you safe.
但 亲爱的 事实上 But the truth is, my darling,
你不需要任何人来保护你 you don't need anyone to keep you safe.
好吧 这是我的小饰品箱 Okay, so, this is my trinkets case.
在过去的两三百年里 Over these past 200 or 300 years,
-快点! -你已经在这个世界磨炼成 -Hurry up! -you have grown into a strong,
一个强大 勇敢 独立的女性 bold, independent woman of the world.
这是我们居住的一个奇怪而危险的阴间世界 It is a strange and dangerous netherworld we inhabit,
我曾经认为你太软弱 没任何攻击力 and I once thought you too weak and defenseless
去驾驭这个世界 to navigate it on your own,
而且你一直需要我在身边 and that you needed me about at all times
来照顾你 to take care of you.
但是就算你曾经是 也已成过去了 But that is no longer true, were it ever so.
安全通道 柯林 鲁宾逊 safe passage, Colin Robinson.
没什么好说的了 Not much more to say.
那是什么.. What's that...
噢 天呐 Oh, my...
搞什么？ What the fuck?
什么？ What?
-该死 -那里有 似乎是 -Shit. -There are, it seems,
我们世界的其他人.. others in our world...
这是什么鬼东西？ What's this shit?
他们的未来远不那么确定 ...whose future is far less certain,
他们的存在 whose existence
比我们自己的还要可怕和神秘 is even more terrifying and mysterious than our own...
他们真的是既软弱又无力 ...who actually are weak and defenseless,
需要保护和照顾 who need protection and care.
在？ Hello?
该死 Shit.
我们的爱是年轻的 ♪ Our love is young♪
它闪耀得如此明亮 ♪ It shines so bright♪
不要让 ♪ Don't ever let♪
♪ 它消失♪ ♪ It vanish♪
在黑夜里 ♪ In the night♪
别太早醒来 -♪ Don't wake too soon♪
再往右一点 And a little to the right.
差不多 Almost.
再往右一点 A little more to the right.
只是把它平摊开来 Just squaring it up.
还有一点.. And a little to...
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我们的爱是年轻的 ♪ Our love is young♪
♪ 如同小鸟♪ ♪ Like a bird♪
它在我们身边徘徊 ♪ It hovers near us♪
♪小心行事♪ ♪ Tread with care♪
以免它听到我们 ♪ Lest it should hear us♪
♪ 抓紧当下♪ ♪ Seize it now♪
在它飞走之前 ♪ Before it flies away♪
别让它溜掉 ♪ Don't let it go♪
我们的爱是年轻的 ♪ Our love is young♪
那么年轻 ♪ So very young.♪