我叫 B. J. 诺瓦克 我想和你们说说我制作的这个节目 My name is B. J. Novak. I wanna tell you about this show I made.
它每集的内容都完全不同 It's a completely different episode every time.
- 有流行文化 -性 - Pop culture. - Sex.
还有复仇 Revenge.
找到了 是这个吗？ Here it is. Is that it?
就是它了 That's it.
新浪微博 @摆渡字幕组 翻译 关注微博 了解最新影视资源 商业合作Q：20882169 字幕组翻译人员招募中报名群:397129952 追美剧 用美影预报app 下载地址：my8.cool
翻译：叶汐/Long lived kid
翻译：脚踏日月/Megan
总监：微光倾城
那艘怎么样？ What about that one?
不错啊 这一群 That'll do nicely. That gaggle
人类的残骸根本 of human flotsam doesn't even
不属于大海 belong on the sea.
变身！ Bat!
你好 Hello.
- 滚出去! -就像《盖里甘的岛》里一样 - Get the fuck out of here! - Just like on Gilligan.
快点！ Come on!
记得给我们寄张明信片 - Send us a postcard.
只剩下我们了！ Just the dudes!
那我们走吧 And away we go.
♪ 如果你想活得长就别唱歌 ♪ ♪ Don't sing if you want to live long♪
♪ 他们不需要你的歌 ♪ ♪ They have no use for your song♪
♪ 殒命 断气 归于极乐♪ ♪ You're dead, you're dead, you're dead♪
♪ 你已经撒手人寰 脱离这个大千世界 ♪ You're dead and out of this world♪
♪ 如今你的希望和怜悯都烟消云散 ♪ ♪ Now your hope and compassion is gone♪
♪ 你出卖自己的梦想给了大千世界 ♪ ♪ You sold out your dream to the world♪
♪ 死着吧 死着吧 死着吧♪ ♪ Stay dead, stay dead, stay dead♪
♪ 你已经死了 离开这个世界 ♪ ♪ You're dead and out of this world.♪
我们再次深深地道歉 Again, we do apologize so deeply
占用了你的时间 for taking up any of your time.
我真希望我能帮你 I wish I could have helped you with
不管怎么样 但是.. whatever this was supposed to be about, but--
那是巴库拉伯爵吗？ Is that Count Bakula?
那是谁? -嗨 巴库拉伯爵！ Who's that? - Hi, Count Bakula!
- 我是你的粉丝!-不 嘘！ - Big fan! - No, shush!
他根本不是吸血鬼 It turns out he's not even actually a vampire.
我们搞错了 实际上他叫...史库特？ We got it wrong. He's actually a Scoot?
- 他叫斯科特 巴库拉 -斯科特 - He's a Scott... Bakula. - Scott.
娜嘉 真的 我得挂了 这边有人在泳池派对 Nadja, really, I-I need to go. I got people in the pool--
-好的 你挂吧 非常感谢 -但在你走之前 Yes, you must go. Thank you so much. But before you do,
巴库拉伯爵 我能不能问一下 eh, Count Bakula, could I just ask,
你有没有祖先 did you ever have an ancestral
在特兰西瓦尼亚地区？ home in the Transylvania area?
据我所知没有 Not that I'm aware of.
我们都在谢尔曼奥克斯 （位于美国洛杉矶） Uh, we're all here in Sherman Oaks.
哦 那是在布加勒斯特附近吗？（布加勒斯特：罗马尼亚的首都 位于欧洲东南部） Oh, is that near Bucharest?
不是 是在穆赫兰和那什么格兰代尔之间 No, it's between Mulholland and, uh, and-and the Galleria.
我替我的同事向你道歉 I do apologize for my associate.
他疯了 He is demented.
我和南多就如何一起管理吸血鬼议会 Nandor and I have come to a better agreement
达成了一个更好的协议 on how to run the Vampiric Council together.
- 这是一个... -外交解决方案 - Which is a-- - A diplomatic solution, whereby--
也就是说我们每个人每隔一段时间 Which is that we will each be running the council...
都要管理议会 On alternating days.
这是个糟糕的解决办法 It's a terrible solution.
每天都在做着对方在前一天 Every day is spent undoing what the other one did
做过的事情 on the previous day.
我们是两个人 但我们是一个整体 We are two, but we work as... one.
整体 One.
我说了一起说 I said say it together.
这是自从疯狂的帕杜克统治以来 This is the most poorly run
最差的一次 Vampiric Council
吸血鬼议会 since the rule of Paduk the Deranged.
他也试图分担领导职责 Who also tried to share his leadership duties
他认为那是一个会说话的脚凳 with what he believed to be was a talking footstool.
但是我们甚至和他一起度过了美好的时光 But we even had good days with him.
和这两个人共事就没有好日子过 There are no good days with these two.
这最终是权力分享 This is ultimately what power-sharing
共存就是关键所在 and coexistence is all about.
真正的以色列/巴勒斯坦局势 A real - Israel/ - Palestine situation.
是的 双赢 Yes, a win-win.
- 南多! -什么事？ - Nandor! Yes?
又来了 Here we go again.
什么? -南多！ What? - Nandor!
啊 你在这儿！ Ah, there you are!
- 我到处都找遍了 -现在不行 亲爱的 - I've been looking everywhere. - Not now, darling.
- 我需要点时间 -你能把我抱起来... ？ - I need a moment. - Could you possibly pick me up and--?
我很忙 -我要把你阴囊上的皮剥下来 Busy. - I'm going to peel the skin off your scrotum
像嚼口香糖一样嚼！ and chew it like a gum!
这是什么？ What is this?
这是我们三州地区的 This is an agreement for our Vampiric Council
吸血鬼议会协议——VCOTSA！（缩写） of the Tristate Area-- VCOTSA!
我们要给即将到来的Fun Run for MS To be the proud sponsors of the upcoming
- 做嫁衣了 是的 - Fun Run for MS. Yes.
- 你为什么觉得这是个好主意? -娜嘉！ - And you think this is a good idea why? Nadja!
这是一个好主意 因为 It is a good idea because it is good
那些人类是健康新鲜的 that humans are healthy.
健康的人类对我们来说意味着更健康的饮食选择 Healthier humans mean healthier eating choices for us.
请把我抱起来! -现在不行 亲爱的！ Pick me up, please! - Not now, darling!
- 拜托! -嘘 小家伙 - Please! Shoo, little one.
所以我们要向全世界宣布 And so we are going to announce to the world
在 T 恤背面写着 "本活动由住在你们周围的 on the back of T-shirts, "Proudly sponsored
-”吸血鬼赞助...”-注意听我说！ -"by the vampires that live amongst you..." - Pay attention to me!
-”... 这些你们是不应该知道的”?-哟吼 -"...that you're not supposed to know about"? - Yoo-hoo.
- 啊! -我要撤销这一切 - Ay! - I am undoing this.
- 会被撤销的 -喂？ - It will be undone. Hello?
撤销个锤子！ Undo nothing!
我为撤销计划 I will put a temporary stop-work order
下达临时停工令 on the proposed undoing.
没人会注意到的 这就像.. No one will even notice. It's gonna be like...
”由富国银行赞助 "Sponsored by Wells Fargo,
- 泽西麦克三明治店...” - Jersey Mike's Sub Shop..."
“ ... VCOTSA. （三州地区的吸血鬼议会协议的缩写） -"...VCOTSA."
有时候我觉得自己对所有人来说就是个可有可无的存在 Sometimes I feel like I've become invisible to everyone.
这很伤人 你知道吗？ And that hurts, you know?
哇 那么.. Wow, so...
这就是我们现在要做的？ this is what we're doing now?
只留下吉尔莫和娃娃一起接受采访？ Just gonna pair Guillermo with the doll for interviews?
那就是我们接下去的方向吗？ That's wh-- that's where we're going?
真的要这样吗 同时完成 Really, just get all the B-team interviews
所有的 b 组人员的采访？ done at the same time?
很好 真的很好 伙计们 Nice, real nice, guys.
哦 他妈的！ Oh, boo-fucking-hoo!
我的腿有五厘米长 My legs are five centimeters long.
看起来你们有什么事情需要我回避 Looks like you guys have things covered here.
我还有事情要做 I have chores to do.
- 需要帮忙吗?-不用我自己能行 - Do you need help? - No, I got it.
- 哎呀-吉尔莫 别这样 - Oy. Guillermo, come on.
他是个难搞的人 我说得对吗？ He's a chore, am I right?
现在我猜你们想知道 Now I'm guessing you're wondering
我们怎么在这艘船上？ why are those fellas on this boat?
我们实际上是在去梅子岛的路上 We're actually on our way to a place called Plum Island.
科林 · 罗宾逊相信梅子岛 Colin Robinson believes that Plum Island
上面有能量吸血鬼起源的 holds the secrets to his energy vampire
秘密 origins.
它属于政府所有 It's owned by the government.
这是一个动物疾病研究中心 It's an animal disease research center.
一般特种部队禁止入内 Off-limits to average Joes
而且很可能戒备森严 and likely highly guarded.
几个世纪前.. Centuries ago...
我曾指挥过许多重要船只的 I commanded the captain's helm
船长掌舵 of many an important vessel.
一开始的时候 I began my seafaring life as a...
我是个擦船尾甲板年轻的水手 young sailor scrubbing the poop decks--
船尾（便便）甲板 Poop decks.
这就是这么叫 That's what it's called.
- 哦 -是啊 - Oh. - Yeah.
从那时起 我负责管理帆船 And from there I was in charge of sloops,
战舰 帆船 battleships, brigantines,
而《泰坦尼克号》只有一会儿 the Titanic for two seconds.
只要你说 我就能航行 You name it, I sailed it.
搞什么? ！ What the fuck?!
- 按下...-好的 好的 好的 我知道了 - Just hit the-- - Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got it.
对不起 Sorry.
是的 很吵 Yeah, that's loud.
作为一个鬼魂 You know, being a ghost spirit
却待在玩偶身体里 是一个复杂的经历 in a doll body has been a complicated experience.
但我在这里留下了一些美好的回忆 But I've made some good memories here.
是的 Yes...
记住 砍头绝对是不得已的 Remember that chopping someone's head off is an absolute last
- 手段 -是的 好吧 - resort. - Yeah, okay.
这样呢 就会导致磨损程度不均匀 Which, in turn, causes an uneven wear pattern.
- 嗯 -那就是你 - Mm-hmm. - And that is why you were
上周走路很别扭的原因 walking weird last week.
- 你要是再不闭嘴你也会走路别扭的 -遵命 - You'll be walking weird if you don't shut up. - Absolutely.
♪吸血鬼们是一个快乐的大家族♪ ♪ Vampires are a happy folk♪
♪ 他们共同欢乐 他们共同谈笑♪ ♪ They share a laugh, they share a joke♪
哦 南多！ Oh, Nandor!
该死 Shit.
- 她相当厉害 嗨 -我要杀了你！ 啊哈 - She's pretty good. Hey! - I'll kill you! Aah!
- 南多 我他妈的要杀了你! -哇 不 嘿 娜嘉！ - Nandor, I'll fucking kill you! - Whoa, no-- hey, Nadja!
但随着时间的流逝 我意识到 But as time has passed, I have realized
这里容不下我 I don't fit here.
也许我就是拼图时多余的那块拼图 Perhaps I'm that one extra piece leftover when a puzzle is
完工之后 没地方放 already completed and there is no place where it fits.
当然拼图不是这么玩的 Which is not how a puzzle works, of course.
但谁在乎呢？ But who gives a shit?
这就是我的感受 That is how I feel.
我是多出来的那块拼图块 I'm the extra puzzle piece.
好吧 Okay.
我们上路吧 Let's hit the road.
老实说 南多 我不想 Honestly, Nandor, I don't want
再试验处子狗了 我们之前已经试过了 to sample virgin dogs. We've already tried that before.
不起作用 It doesn't work.
- 它会被撤销的 -”吸血鬼冰淇淋”？ It will be undone. -"Vampire ice cream"?
需要冷血而已 It's just cold blood.
我们可以把血放到冰箱里 We can put blood in the fridge.
我们不需要做吸血鬼冰淇淋 We don't need to do vampire ice cream.
- 娜嘉? 喂? -撤销它 -它会被撤销的 - Nadja? Hello? - Undo it. - It will be undone.
我现在要走了 I'm leaving now.
再要些南多的肖像？ More portraits of Nandor?
取消 不行 肖像够多了 Undo that. No, we've got enough portraits...
好吧 那么 我想我只能独自离开了 Okay, then, I guess I'll just be moving along.
吸血鬼嘉年华? ！ Vampire carnival?!
我们可是一个神秘的组织 I mean, we are a secret species.
我当船长的时候 生活乐无边 When I was a captain, life was the best.
我会唱无数的水手号子 I knew a thousand sea shanties,
我贪恋女色 I was nut-deep in prostitutes,
每隔一天都有剑术比赛 sword fights every other day,
数都数不清的金子.. as much gold as you could shake a shitty stick...
你他妈的在干什么? 这是晚上！ What the fuck are you doing? It's dark!
我 我知道 但是这感觉很爽 I-I know, it feels good, though.
- 嗨 你能帮我在后背也弄点吗? -呃.. - Hey, can you get my back? - Uh...
还是等会儿吧 maybe I'll do that later.
这是什么歌？ What is this song?
好像听过 但是.. It-It's haunting, yet...
太熟悉了 我.. so familiar, I...
但是我从来没有听过 And yet like nothing I've heard before.
关掉引擎! 关掉引擎！ Kill the engine! Kill the engine!
还有收音机！ And the radio!
我想是从那边传来的！ I think it's coming from over there!
从船首右舷边传过来的 Coming from the starboard bow.
我们应该去检查下！ We should investigate!
对 很有必要 我们还能怎样 Well, we got to. I don't see what else we can do.
- 好 应该 好 我们走 -快点！ - Okay, shall do! Okay, let's go. - Haul ass!
不 我... 我开始觉得 No, I'm... I'm starting to think
- 这可能是个陷阱 -我只是觉得 - it could be a trap. - I was just thinking that.
这绝对像是某种陷阱 It definitely seems like some sort of trap
我们也许不该去 呃... - we probably shouldn't, uh--
哦 哦！ Ooh, ooh!
不 我们一定要去检查下 No, I think we should definitely investigate.
- 快点 动起来 我们走! -没问题 - Haul ass, smoke grass, let's go! - You got it.
哈哈！ Ha-ha!
- 哇! 怎么样? -我的领带呢? 我的领带呢? ！ - Whoa! How about that? - Where's my tie? Where's my tie?!
该死！ Fucking hell!
哦 南多! 哦 南多 救命！ Oh, Nandor! Oh, Nandor, help!
- 怎么了? 怎么了? -谁来帮帮我! 我不能... - What? What? - Help me, somebody! I can't--
哦 不！ Oh, no!
- 怎么了? 怎么... ? -她走了！ - What is it? What the--? - She's gone!
- 谁? ! -我的玩偶！ - Who?! - My baby dolly!
她走了! 她离家出走了! 我找不到她了！ She's gone! She has left home! I can't find her!
你怎么知道她离家出走了？ How do you know she has left home?
- 也许她就在沙发下面 -不！ - Maybe she's just under the couch. - No!
我能感觉得到 I can feel it inside my bones.
如果我想让每个人都为我担心的话 It is exactly what I would do if I wanted to make
我也会这么做的 引起一场大乱子 everyone worry about me and cause a big drama.
给她点空间 我相信她会回来的 Just give her some space, I'm sure she will come back.
你都37个老婆了 但是当一个女人需要关注的时候 37 wives and you still
你还是不懂这里面的事 cannot read the room when a woman needs some attention!
快点 我们得去找她！ Come on, we have to go and find her!
- 我一定要去吗? -噢！ - Oh, do I have to? - Oh!
她那么小的一个人儿 I hope she is okay out there
真希望她在外面一切平安 知道吗？ all by her small self-- you know what?
如果她想出去 被一群土耳其匪徒绑架 If she wants to go out there, get kidnapped
当肉馅卖掉 by a Turkish horde of gangsters and sold off as mincemeat,
我不在乎 卷起来做成柯夫塔丸子 fine by me. Rolled up, turned into kofta,
那我也不在乎 都是我的错 then I'm fine with that. This is all my fault.
我一直以来都在忽视她 I have been neglecting her.
当我发现那个小... And when I find that little...
我要融化她的头 I am going to melt her head.
我要用她的脸做一个圣杯 然后用它喝水 I'm going to make a chalice out of her face and drink from it.
我会帮你找到她的 吉尔莫！ I will help you find her. Guillermo!
- 吉尔莫! -..小闹剧... - Guillermo! -...petty emotional drama...
这是你吗? 放下 So is this you? Just put it down.
那时候很帅 现在也很帅 是吧？ Handsome then, handsome now, huh?
是的 你一遍又一遍地说... Yes, you keep saying that over and over...
- 吉尔莫! -看啊 -我们要走了！ - Guillermo! - Oh, look. - We are leaving!
很好 很好 我要和你一起去 因为我是你的保镖 Great, great, I'll come with you because I'm your bodyguard.
不 不 你留在这里 搜查阁楼 No, no, you will stay here and you will search the attic
找找那个可爱的小傻逼娃娃 for that sweet, little, stupid bitch of a doll.
如果你找到她 你就亲她 然后揍她 快点！ If you find her, you will kiss her, then hit her, come on!
- 但她说不要... -她说什么不重要 - But she said not to-- - Doesn't matter what she said.
这个女人正在和 I'm dealing with a woman who is having a heated
另一个自己激烈争辩 debate with an identical version of her own mind.
拜托 我不想和她单独在一起 Come on, I do not want to be alone with her.
介意我在你的床上晚休吗？ Mind if I stay in your bed for a midevening slumber?
不行! 滚出我的房间！ No! Get out of my room!
- 滚出去 别碰任何东西! -好的 - Get out and don't touch anything! - Okay.
我不会碰任何东西 I will not touch anything.
哇哦 哇哦 Oh, oh.
- 太美了 -那个声音 - It's beautiful. - That voice.
它在召唤我 It beckons me.
真的吗? 老实说 因为我越来越觉得 Really? 'Cause I-I'm getting more
这是“召唤柯林” of a "Colin beckoning," to be honest
你有名字吗 亲爱的？ Do you have a name, my darling?
别打扰我唱歌 嗯 Don't interrupt my song, mm.
最后会有足够的时间来鼓掌的 孩子们 There'll be plenty of time for applause at the end, boys.
唯一一件比被打断更让我讨厌的事情 The only thing I hate more than when someone interrupts
就是他们想和我一起唱 my song is when they try and join in.
这不合适 It's not right.
是我的错觉还是 她真的... 太丑了？ Is it me, or is she... hideous?
- 是的 -好的 - Yeah. - Yeah, okay.
没有 我对那儿不感兴趣 Nope, nothing there I want.
- 我们走吧 -我现在浑身发软 - Let's go. - I'm as limp as a finger.
- 是啊 是啊 -太棒了 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Fantastic stuff.
一切顺利 亲爱的 All the best, my darling.
- 拜拜... - 噢 等等! - Toodle... - Oh, wait!
等等 Hang on.
该死 Shit.
妈的 你看 Shit, look.
柯林 · 罗宾逊, Colin Robinson,
我们遇见海妖了 we are in the presence of a siren.
海妖是 Sirens are
罗马和希腊神话中的生物 creatures from Roman and Greek mythology.
人们对它们的外观有一种常见的误解 There is a common misconception about their appearance,
但它们实际上有很多不同的形态 but they actually take many different forms,
大多是鸟形 专门引诱毫无防备的水手 mainly birds that lure unsuspecting sailors--
是的 他们知道什么是海妖 Yeah, they know what a fucking siren is.
- 我们得离开这里 -也许他们.. - We just got to get out of here. - Well, maybe they--
等等 也许我的一个追求者 Wait, perhaps one of my suitors
想争得一个闪亮的小饰品？ would want to compete for a shiny trinket?
- 很美味噢 -也许 去他妈的 - Yummy. - Or perhaps, fuck that.
变身！ Bat!
- 我从未听过这么美妙的歌声 -是啊 - That's the most beautiful song I've ever heard. - Yeah.
给迪克 · 克拉克打电话 因为他会让她上《音乐台》的 Call Dick Clark, 'cause he's gonna want her on Bandstand.
估计会的 Reckon.
你在哪儿？ Where are you?
- 是的 你在哪里? -你这个傻婊子！ - Yes, where are you? - You silly bitch!
- 你去哪儿了 -你怎么知道她会在这儿？ - Where have you gone?! - How do you know she's even here?
因为这正是我要做的！ Because this is exactly what I would do!
我会去玩具店 坐在货架上 I would come to some toy store and sit on a shelf
然后等一个可爱的小女孩把我买回家 and wait for a sweet little girl to take me home instead
总好过和一群冷漠的混蛋住在一起！ of living in a house with a bunch of uncaring assholes!
这就是你对我们的看法？ 一群冷漠的混蛋？ That is what you think of us, a bunch of uncaring assholes?
一直? 不是 All the time? No.
有时候? 是的！ Sometimes? Yes!
最近? 很多次！ Lately? A lot!
- 吉尔莫? 集中注意力 -抱歉 - Guillermo? Focus now. - Sorry.
也许她只是需要爱和关心 You know, maybe she just needs some love and caring
还有尊重 你知道的 那些 and respect, you know, the things that
- 在我们家里完全没有的东西! -喂？ - are completely missing from our house! - Hello?
- 洋娃娃 宝贝! 嘿 洋娃娃 -这里 洋娃娃 你好？ - Dolly, baby! Hey, Dolly. - Here, Dolly, Dolly, hello?
- 没关系 出来吧 -你在哪亲爱的？ - It's okay, come out. - Where are you, my love?
- 这里 洋娃娃 ...-南多！ - Here, Dolly, Dolly... - Nandor!
- 我要杀了你！ - I'll kill you!
你真蠢 南多！ You're stupid, Nandor!
啊 我的.. Aah, my fucking...
- 南多.. - Nandor...
你做了什么? ！ What have you done?!
我亲爱的宝贝！ My sweet baby!
她是那么无力 毫无生气 She is so limp and lifeless.
对不起 我还以为是只大虫子什么的 Sorry, I thought it was a giant bug or something.
嘿 伙计们 听着! 别烦我 Hey, guys, look! Leave me alone.
我不想和你说话 I don't want to talk to you.
她的灵魂从一个身体跳到另一个身体！ Her spirit has jumped from one body to another!
回家来! -来吧 [speaks foreign language] Come home! - Come on.
别这么夸张 你这个愚蠢的婊子！ Stop being so dramatic, you stupid bitch!
我好爱你！ I love you so much!
- 你在干什么? 放开我！ - What are you doing? Leave me alone!
这可不好 天哪！ That's not nice. Goodness' sake!
哦 该死 呃.. Oh, shit, uh...
忘了我吧! -把他们赶出去.. Forget about me! - Just kick them out...
- 你没事吧?-没事！ - Are you okay? - Yes!
你这头蠢母牛！ You silly cow!
吉尔莫 请把球收拾一下 Guillermo, tidy the balls, please.
我太爱你了！ I love you so much!
如果你往左边挪一点, If you scoot a little to your left,
我想我可以用嘴咬断这根绳子 I think I can get my mouth down to gnaw through this rope.
- 我们甚至没有被绑起来-哦 - We're not even tied up. - Oh.
如果她发现了 她会把我当作晚饭 If she found out, she'd have me for dinner
而你则是饭后甜点 and you for dessert.
为什么她要第二个吃掉我？ Well, why-why would she eat me second?
好吧 你不会为了凉拌卷心菜去吃烤猪肉 Well, you don't go to the hog roast for the coleslaw.
哦 天哪 听着 我已经没救了 Oh, God, listen, it's useless for me.
你为什么不救你自己? 你可以飞 Why don't you save yourself? You can fly.
我不会离开你的 科林 · 罗宾逊 I'm not gonna leave you, Colin Robinson.
♪ 射 射 射 射 射 射 射 射♪ ♪ Shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots♪
♪ 射 射 射♪ ♪ Shots, shots, shots♪
♪ 射 射 射 射 射♪ ♪ Shots, shots, shots, shots, shots♪
♪所有人都射起来... ♪ ♪ Shots, shots, everybody...♪
多么美妙的声音 多么张扬的个性 What a heavenly voice and a beautiful personality.
当然 Absolutely.
坐好了 伙计们 稍等我一会儿 Sit tight, boys. I'll be there
我马上就来了！ in just a sexy, tiny, little second for you!
又来了！ Not again!
实际上 很快的 Just a little second, actually.
该死 我们被施了魔法 Bloody hell. We're being enchanted.
♪你想去♪ ♪ You want to go♪
♪卡梅尔我们都知道的人... ♪ ♪ Carmel is the number to know...♪
这是我听过的最美妙的事情 It's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard.
这让我想起第一次遇见我的爱人娜嘉 It reminds me of the first time that I met my love Nadja.
这就是我为什么知道这是真爱 That's how I know that this is true love.
是的 我愿意付出一年的薪水 Yeah, I'd give a year's salary
看着她产卵 to watch her lay a couple eggs.
哟呵 小伙子们! 谁想来点乐子？ Yoo-hoo, boys! Who's up for a little fun?
该死 Shit.
我脑海里浮现出一个词 One word springs to mind.
- 那是什么? -变身！ - What's that? - Bat!
他还是抛弃你了 Alone at last.
- 娜嘉! -什么？ - Nadja! - What?
不 我在叫那个娃娃 No, I'm calling out for the doll.
- 那不是她的名字 -她叫什么？ - Well, that's not her name. - What is her name?
我... 我没给她起 好吗？ I... I didn't give her one, okay?
哇 Wow.
- 真不错 -洋娃娃？ - Real nice. - Doll?
- 我的爱人 -洋娃儿 - My love. - Dolly.
- 你到底在哪? !-嘿 - Where the hell are you?! - Hey.
该死 Oh, shit.
请别这样.. Please stop this...
- 然后回家! -你不再爱我了 - And come home! - You don't love me anymore.
没一个人爱我! 就让我走吧！ None of you do! Just let me go.
我们当然爱你 你这个愚蠢的婊子！ Of course we love you, you stupid bitch!
这爱给的太少也太晚了 Too little too late.
啊 -她去哪儿了？ Ah. - Where did she go?
好了 够了! 算了吧！ Okay, enough! You can forget it!
我再也不沉迷于此了！ I am not indulging in this anymore!
他妈的你自己过去吧 Go and live your stupid life,
希望你能自力更生！ and good luck trying to make it on your own!
好吧! 我会的! 我会在这个大老鼠身上 Fine! I will! I'm going to have a lot of fun
- 玩的很开心的！ - as this big rat!
是吗... 你的屁股看起来很大！ Well... your ass looks huge!
哈! 没有你的那么大 亲爱的 Ha! Not as big as yours, darling.
-开火了 - Shots fired.
战火升级了 Taking it up a notch.
你最好没有说我认为你刚才说的话！ You better not have said what I think you just said!
她说了 She did.
好好欣赏风景吧 宝贝！ Enjoy the view, baby!
哦 - Oh.
哦 拉兹洛 谢天谢地! 你可以帮我 -- Oh, Laszlo, thank goodness! You can help me with my--
现在不行 亲爱的！ Not now, my darling!
- 来吧-现在我需要你 - Come on. - Now I need you
想出一个能让我 to come up with a device that'll make me
不受任何外界声音的影响 impervious to all external sounds.
是的 我们 我们可以去别的地方 Yeah, we, we can go somewhere for that.
你们在抗议呐 You're protesting.
我的意思是让我暂时失聪 By that, I mean making me temporarily deaf.
是的 我知道该去哪儿 Yes, I-I know exactly where to go.
这些东西是什么 What is all this stuff?
这些东西是好东西还是垃圾？ Is this stuff any good or is it just shit?
- 找到它然后我们...-嗨 - Okay, just find it and let's-- - Hi.
我能帮你们找点什么吗？ Can I help you guys find anything?
不 我们只是在找降噪耳机 No, we're just looking for some noise-canceling headphones,
我们自己能行 非常感谢 but we have it under control. Thank you so much.
等等 这个推进式塑料蜘蛛 Now hang on, what is the purpose of this
是干嘛用的？ propelled plastic spider?
这是我们的迷你直升机 Oh, this is our Magic Mini tri-copter
- 还有特别版的铬螺旋桨 -哇哦 - with the special-edition chrome propellers. - Oh, wow.
吉尔莫 我们需要一个这样的 Gizmo, I think we need one of these.
不 我们不需要 该走了 拉兹洛 No, we don't. We should get going, Laszlo.
朱迪? Judi?
我就和你说 Between you and I,
我真的能注意到 could I really notice a difference
在5.1和7.1环绕之间有什么不一样吗？ between 5.1 and 7.1 surround?
5.1对于大多数标准的家庭使用来说是绝对没问题的 Look, 5.1 is absolutely fine for most standard home use.
对 但不是7.1 Right, but it's not 7.1.
这才是你真正想说的 That's what you're really saying.
嗯 我 我是一个音响发烧友 Well, me, I'm a bit of an audiophile.
而且我隐约觉得 And I have a sneaking suspicion
你可能也是 克莱文斯沃思先生 that you might be, too, Mr. Cravensworth.
我就知道 Guilty as charged.
嘿 你找到所有需要的东西了吗？ Hey, did you find everything you were looking for today?
- 是的 凯文 -太好了 - Yes, I did, Kevin. - Great.
这是现金还是信用卡？ Now, will this be, uh, cash or card?
我今天什么都不会付 I will not be paying for anything today.
知道了 免费 Got it. No charge.
现在 你需要 Now, will you be wanting
延长保修范围吗？ the extended warranty coverage?
我不会被忽悠延长保修期的 I won't be talked into any extended warranty.
知道了 现在你只要输入你的电子邮件—— Got it. Now if you just punch in your email--
我也不会输入我的电子邮件地址 Nor will I punching in my email address.
我也不会被忽悠买任何百思买的会员卡 I won't be talked into any kind of Best Buy membership card
或者信用卡 or charge card.
是的 但是我们真的需要 Right, but we really do need
你的电子邮件 让你了解最新的.. your email to keep you up to date about...
- 宣传... 极客小分队 -哦极客小分队？ - promotional... Geek Squad. - Oh, for the Geek Squad?
- 没问题-好的 - Not a problem at all. - Okay.
Lcravensworth... Lcravensworth...
@nyconnex.com. @nyconnex.com.
我不知道我家的电话号码是多少 是多少？ I have no idea what my home phone number is-- what is it?
- 718...-好的 - 718... - Okay, yeah.
立体环绕音就是个大骗局 Quadrophonic sound was a great gimmick.
但我认为这些消费者不会在意 But I don't think the wider public gave a shit
那种细节 about that kind of detail.
这些电子设备到底是干什么的 What exactly does all these electronics
和柯林·鲁宾逊有什么关系？ have to do with Colin Robinson?
该死 Oh, shit.
一个晚上被施了两次魔法 Enchanted twice in one evening.
一次是被希拉 Once with Sheila.
然后是百思买的朱迪 And then Judi from Best Buys.
我不知道希拉是谁 所以.. I-I don't know who Sheila is, so...
- 不 别...- 变身！ - No, don't... - Bat!
♪ 和我一起去另一个世界吧♪ ♪ Sail away with me to another world♪
♪ 我们彼此依靠的地方♪ ♪ Where we rely on each other♪
♪ 啊 啊♪ ♪ Ah, ha♪
♪ 从一个爱人到另一个爱人♪ ♪ From one lover to another♪
♪ 啊 啊♪ ♪ Ah, ha♪
♪ 川流中的岛渚♪ ♪ Islands in the stream♪
♪ 那就是我们♪ ♪ That is what we are.♪
你知道的 嗯 流氓弗拉德乐队 You know, um, Rascal Flatts,
他们有一首歌叫《生活是一条高速公路》 they have a song called "Life Is a Highway."
- 我不知道那首歌 - 还有 - I don't know that song. - And, uh,
今晚的这次绕道 让我改变了主意 this detour tonight has kind of changed my mind.
也许生活不是一条高速公路 Maybe life isn't a highway.
你知道 也许生活就是一片海洋 You know, maybe life is an ocean.
是啊 是啊 - Yeah, yeah.
是的 Yes.
你真是个怪人 柯林·鲁宾逊 You're an odd one, Colin Robinson.
听我喋喋不休 Listen to me babbling on.
- 呃 希拉... - Um, Sheila...
我觉得你 I-I think that you're something
真的很特别 really special.
真的吗？ Really?
我不唱歌的时候大多数人都不喜欢我 Most people don't like me when I'm not singing.
我说话时 大多数人也不喜欢我 Most people don't like me when I'm talking either.
- 哦 - Oh.
对不起 我太紧张了 I'm sorry, I got nervous.
我在你身上拉了点屎 I did a little poopy on you.
没什么好紧张的 Nothing to be nervous about.
这不是第一次了 It's not the first time
一个漂亮的女人在我的鞋子上拉屎 a beautiful woman has shit on my shoes.
谢谢 Thanks.
- 可能...- 人类形态！ - Probably... - Human form!
别害怕 柯林·鲁宾逊！ Fear not, Colin Robinson!
- 该死 - 船长是不会放弃 - Oh, shit. - A captain never abandons
他的船员 所以 女妖 快放了他 his crew, so, siren, release him.
- 你能不能稍等我一下 - Can you give me just
- 亲爱的? - 好的 - one second, sweetie? - Yeah.
- 放开他 快点 -拉兹洛 不要 - Leave him alone and come on. - Laszlo, no.
- 什么? - 我恋爱了 - What? - I'm in love.
- 我是说她就是我的真命天女 - I mean, she's the one.
可能有点不合常规 It might be a little unconventional,
但是... 爱情是无法说明白的 but... love can't always be explained.
什么 即使她不唱歌？ What, even when she's not singing?
她唱歌的时候我无法抗拒 但是... Well, when she's singing, I-I can't resist her, but...
她不唱歌的时候... when she's not singing, I don't...
我同样抵挡不住她的魅力 want to, want to resist her.
- 看看她在做什么 - 是啊 Look at what she's doing. - Yeah.
他疯了 He's mad.
- 我可爱的碧池 我们抓到你了! - 别管我！ - My lovely bitch, we've got you! - Leave me alone!
没有地方可以逃了——放弃吧！ There's nowhere left to run-- just give it up!
别追我了! 让我自由吧！ Stop chasing me! Let me be free!
你根本不在乎我！ You don't even want me!
- 嘿! - 你在说什么? ！ - Hey! - What are you talking about?!
- 我们当然在乎你! - 哦！ - Of course we want you! - Ooh!
你是那个离开的人！ You're the one who ran away!
- 你他妈的在开玩笑吗? - 哎哟！ - Are you fucking kidding me with this? - Ouch!
哎呀 Oopsies.
你做了什么? ! 哦 我的爱！ What have you done?! Oh, my love!
反正她也只会跳到另一个宿主里 She was only gonna jump into another vessel anyway.
我很累 I am very tired.
让我走吧 Just let me go.
这对你来说更容易 It would be easier for you.
你已经有很多事情要做了 不用担心 You have so much to do already, without having to worry
关于我和我愚蠢的情感 about me and my silly emotions.
是的 我最近很忙 Yes, I have been very busy recently.
但是你必须明白 But you have to understand.
我他妈的一直在努力工作 I have been working so fucking hard
为了在那个房子里被认真对待 in that house to be taken seriously.
让别人尊重我 To get anyone to give me any respect.
我一直想表现得专业一点 I've been trying to be professional, but I've been
因此我忽视了自己的... squishing down and mincing up my own...
愚蠢的情感 silly emotions.
哦.. Oh...
哦 Oh.
哇 Wow.
我很抱歉 I am so sorry.
这是不对的 It is not okay.
我会为你做得更好 And I am going to do better for you.
还有我自己 And for myself.
我太累了 换宿主吧 I am too tired. Switching hosts
这胖老鼠也太费劲了 is extremely draining.
我觉得我没法换宿主了 I don't think I can do it anymore.
最后换一次如何？ How about one last home?
你想不想回来 Do you feel like coming back and living with a bunch
和一群漠不关心的混蛋们一起生活？ of uncaring assholes?
好吧 为什么不呢？ Okay, why not?
不管怎样 作为共同领导人 For what it's worth, I also think you're doing
- 我也认为你在工作做的很棒 - 闭嘴 - a great job as coleader-- Shut up.
- 这和你无关 一点关系也没有 - This isn't about you. Not even a little bit.
我明天要休息！ And I'm taking the day off tomorrow!
哦 是的 休息整整一天！ Oh, yes, a day out!
我们可以碾碎葡萄 把所有的核吐给鸽子 We can crush grapes and spit all the pits at the pigeons
折磨凡人... and torture mortals...
- 对 - Right.
听我说 柯林·鲁宾逊 她是个迷人的女妖 Listen to me, Colin Robinson, she is a siren.
她的工作就是迷惑你 It's her job to enchant you.
你没有恋爱 你这个蠢货 You're not in love. You may think you are,
你以为自己恋爱了 但实际上你没有 you dumb fuck, but you're not.
好吧 你怎么知道不一样？ Yeah, well, how do you know the difference?
她是半人半鸡 She's half-chicken.
是啊 没有人是完美的 Yeah, nobody's perfect.
你走开 我的朋友 You go away, my friend.
我恋爱了 I'm in love.
- 你吃晚饭了吗? - 吃了 - Did you eat your dinner? - Yeah.
好吧 结局会很糟糕 所以你需要做的是 All right, this is going to end badly, so what you need to do
切掉麦克风 关掉所有的音响设备 is cut the mics, turn all the sound equipment off,
用手捂住耳朵 现在就做 and put your fingers in your ears, and do it now.
- 好的 开始吧 - 赶紧的！ Okay. Do it. - Now!
该死 Oh, shit.
我看起来怎么样? 我看起来还好吗？ How do I look? Do I look all right?
- 是的 你看起来很棒 你一直都很棒 - 嗯哼 - Yes, you look great. You always look great. - Mm-hmm.
这一切都让我意识到 This has all made me realize that in my efforts to be taken
在我努力承担吸血鬼委员会的领导责任时 more seriously as a leader of the Vampiric Council,
我一直忽略了我的小美丽 小甜心 I have been neglecting my gorgeous, sweet,
小可爱 小傻瓜 小乖乖 cutie, silly, little, dolly mama-moo.
是的 没错 Yes, exactly.
因为她就是我 And because, uh, she is me, the same,
换句话的意思就是我一直忽略了我自己甜美生动的 it means I have been neglecting the gorgeous, sweet, juicy,
可爱愚蠢的个性 lovely, silly part of my own excellent personality.
我意识到既然我是她 And what I've realized, since I am her,
那我就必须向所有人 包括我自己 I've got to communicate my emotional needs
表达情感需求 to everyone... and to myself.
我喜欢这个小荡妇 I love this little slut.
我爱你 小碧池 And I love you, my little whore.
一样的满口脏话 Potty mouth, the same.
你好 Oh, hello.
我想说 呃 抱歉 I say, um, apologies
我没能在梅子岛 for not making it to Plum Island
找到更多关于能量吸血鬼起源的信息 to find out more about your energy vampire origins.
是啊 我想 Yeah, well, I-I guess
我仍然是个谜 I remain an enigma.
这真是太酷了 Which is pretty cool.
对了 那只鸡的魔咒失效了吗？ Right, has that chicken's spell worn off?
我想是吧 I guess.
我的意思是 也许我今天的经历 I mean, maybe I didn't experience
不是真爱 但感觉就像真爱 true love today, but it-it-it sure felt like it.
我得说你今天没有经历过 I'd say that you didn't experience
真爱 true love today.
是的 我没有 I didn't, no.
好吧 我还是 All right, well, I'll leave you
让你一个人待着吧 to whatever the hell you were doing.
好吧 Okay, then.
你们能.. If-if you guys could...
能给我一分钟吗？ maybe give me a-a minute?
我马上就能抵抗歌声了 Um, I'm gonna beat off now.
♪ 天堂的夜莺♪ ♪ Nightingale of paradise♪
♪ 在歌颂爱情♪ ♪ You sing of love♪
♪ 歌声和光芒一起♪ ♪ Flooding all the world♪
♪ 覆盖整个世界♪ ♪ With light♪
♪ 漫不经心的人♪ ♪ Heedless men♪
♪ 听不到你的歌里♪ ♪ Hear not your song♪
♪ 包含生命永恒的真谛♪ ♪ Of life eternal.♪
新浪微博 @摆渡字幕组 翻译 关注微博 了解最新影视资源 商业合作Q：20882169 字幕组翻译人员招募中报名群:397129952 追美剧 用美影预报app 下载地址：my8.cool
亲爱的日记
吉尔莫今天晚宴上的人体选择上真的很用心了
[南多] 不是一个 也不是两个 是八个处女！
而且今天还不是什么特别的日子！
[娜嘉] 每次饮血都要比上一次更美味
可能是因为祭品在我们杀之前变成菠萝了？
[吉尔莫] 还好 斯塔顿岛也不需要
很多成人踢球队 对吧？
我非常迷恋你 I have a huge crush on you.
真是受宠若惊... Well, that's really flattering...
因为你很漂亮 ...because you're beautiful.
你可能想知道我们在做什么 You're probably wondering what we're doing.
简短的回答 拯救地球 Short answer, saving the earth.
再来一次 Again.
没有你我是不会走的 I'm not leaving without you.
我需要一些柔软的东西才能着陆 I need something soft to land on.
事情发生得太快了 It happened pretty fast.
世界变了 The world has changed.
他的幸存是保密的 His survivor's classified.
不能让任何人知道他 Nobody can know about him.
人们将不得不选择立场 People are going to have to pick sides.
我认为在一切好转之前 I think it's going to get worse
情况会变得更糟 before it gets better.
快跑！ Run!
我猜测 I imagine that you attract
你引起了很多方的注意 quite a bit of attention.
确实 前所未有地多 You know, more than before. That's for sure.