今天是我们当吸血鬼议会领袖 today is our first day on the job
的第一天 as leaders of the Vampiric Council.
娜嘉和我同意在一起工作 Nadja and I have agreed to work together as a team.
现在呢 就让南多认为我们在 For now, I am letting Nandor think that we are
分享权力 "sharing power."
但是最高领袖只能有一个 But there can only be one Supreme Leader,
我会不惜一切代价取得那个位置 and I will do whatever it takes.
这就是为什么17个孩子中 That is how you are the only one that survives
只有我活下来的原因 out of 17 children.
虽然我很钦佩 I admire.
娜嘉英明的抉策 Nadja's decisiveness
还有她的大嗓门 and how loud she is.
然而我才是更资深的领导者 But I am the more experienced leader.
最终 我会让她成为我的二把手 Eventually, I will make her my number two.
所以你是说 So you're saying you
你要培养二把手？ you need to make a number two?
不错 不是现在 但也快了 Indeed. Not right now but soon.
这不是你能强求的 It's not something you should force.
但你也知道 But you're saying it's important
有个得力的二把手有多重要 to have a really good number two.
是的 Yes.
得力的二把手有什么好笑的 There's nothing funny about a firm number two.
计划是什么来着？ What was the plan again?
计划就是... 我 冷酷无情的南多 The plan is that I... Nandor The Relentless
将会成为吸血鬼议会的最高领袖 还会有个得力的二把手 will sit on my throne and make a number two.
-行了 出去 - Okay, get out.
新浪微博 @摆渡字幕组 翻译 关注微博 了解最新影视资源 商业合作Q：20882169 字幕组翻译人员招募中报名群:397129952 追美剧 用美影预报 app下载地址：my8.cool
翻译：流星雨/Long lived kid
翻译：C路粒子
总监：微光倾城
吸血鬼生活 第三季 第二集
现在 这儿有中等安全级别的牢房 Now, down here we have the medium security cells
还有各种屠宰场 and the various abattoirs.
请务必在登记表上写上订位的信息 Be sure to reserve your spot on the sign-in sheet
屠宰场忙得不行 'cause the abattoirs get crazy busy.
这是休息室 Okay, now, over here we have the break room.
现在 请你们看一下零食上都贴标签了没 Now, make sure that you label your snacks
我们每周五都会把所有东西都清掉 because we throw everything out every Friday.
- 噢! -应该很好吃 - Oh! Oh! Yummy, yummy.
这扇门后面 And behind this door
是猎奇会所 the Chamber of Curiosities.
从世界各地收集的 The treasures of many generations of vampires
几代吸血鬼的珍宝 都存放在这里 gathered from around the world and collected here.
这些艺术品经久不衰 卓越非凡 Ageless, timeless, marvelous artifacts.
但请注意 But be warned:
这当中有一些是异常强大的 Some of this stuff is inordinately powerful
不能随便碰！ and not to be monkeyed about with!
- 别他妈的乱动! -柯林 鲁宾逊 - Don't fuck with that! -Oh. - Colin Robinson.
真是个好奇鬼 -但有些只是为了好玩 What a Charlie. - But some of it is just for fun.
这个看起来眼熟吗？ Does this look familiar?
不 是什么？ No. What is it?
噢 范海辛的鸡儿 - Oh, only Van Helsing's dick.
得了吧 吉尔莫 Come on, Guillermo.
不是每个人都能像你这么幸运 Not everyone is lucky enough
能握住他们的曾曾曾曾祖父的 to hold their great-great-great- great-grandfather's penis
- 阴茎 -嗯 - in their hands. - Hmm.
我也想握握我祖宗的阴茎呢 You know I certainly would have liked to.
那到底是什么鬼东西？ What the hell was that?
大家安静下来 好吗？ Let us hush our voices, all right?
不要激怒他 We don't want to rile him.
这扇门后面是“陛下”的住宅区 Behind this door is the living quarters of The Sire.
- 真正的陛下? -陛下？ - The actual Sire? - The Sire?
- 独一无二的 -谁 陛下是谁？ - The one and only. - Who-who's The Sire?
陛下是世上最老的吸血鬼 The Sire is the oldest living vampire in the world.
他是所有吸血鬼的祖先 He's the vampire from which all other vampires have descended.
所有的 All of them.
千万不要打开这扇门 Do not ever open this door.
让我看看 Peekaboo.
正如我所说 As I was saying,
- 永远不要打开... -开门 - Do not ever open... - Open the door.
好 好 好 知道了 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Got it.
这是什么？ Ooh. What is this?
别乱碰！ Don't monkey about with that!
- 这是复制斗篷 -什么？ - This is the Cloak of Duplication. - The what?
各位 看看这个 Everyone, you might want to see this.
这很酷 It's pretty cool.
- 我来演示给你们看 -复制？ - I'll show you. - Duplication?
看好了 Observe.
我变 Boop.
- 看到了吧? 很疯狂对吧? -好东西 - See? Crazy, right? Good Lord.
太神奇了 Amazing.
这可真是件魔法斗篷 人一穿上去 A magical cloak that makes the wearer
就立刻变得更帅 instantly much more good-looking.
这就是你眼光的问题了 That is a matter of opinion.
我开玩笑的 I am kidding.
我明白了 I get the principle that
就是让人看起来像另外一个人 it makes someone look like someone else.
很好 Very good.
- 噢 还是你 -但是谁都不能碰它 - Oh, it's you again. - But no one should touch it.
就连我这个全职员工 Even I, full-time staff,
也不能乱动它 should not be monkeying about with it.
这边是亲信的房间 And over here is the familiars' room.
你们可以把他锁在里面 直到下班再出来 You can store him here until the end of the workday.
快进去 快去 Scoot, scoot.
实际上 他不是亲信 He's not actually a familiar.
-他是我们的保镖 - He is our bodyguard. Bodyguard.
我们不允许一个人类在这里荡来荡去 We cannot allow a human to wander free here.
除非你们把他变成吸血鬼 Unless you are making him a vampire.
- 不可能 绝对不行 -绝对不行 不行 - Not a chance. Absolutely not. - No, absolutely not. No.
- 你们回答得也太快了 -抱歉 吉尔莫 - That was a really quick answer. Sorry, Guillermo.
我们无能为力 There's nothing we can do.
快进去 快去 Scoot, scoot.
我想这门应该会一直开着吧 And the door stays open, I'm assum.
- 嘿 怎么? -再见 - Hey. What? - Buh-bye.
我感觉好多了 I feel much better about that.
苍了个天了 我去 Hell's bells. Shit.
琳琅满目 眼花撩乱 My giddy art.
对印刷在书上的学者来说 To the scholar of the printed page,
这地方就是瓦尔哈拉英灵神殿 北欧神话中死亡之神奥丁款待阵亡将士英灵的殿堂 this place is Valhalla.
鉴于这儿拥有全世界 And what I'd dismissed as rumor is actually true,
最古老最庞大的色情收藏 for this Vampiric Council holds the world's
之前我认为是胡说八道的东西就是真的了 oldest and largest collection of pornography.
《秘密典籍》 The Knobnomicon.
小伙子们需要知道 Everything a chap and chapess
关于口交的一切 would need to know about fellatio.
本书由吸血鬼委员会古物图书馆提供
我们还有什么？ What else have we got?
噢 对... 《古腾堡的阴道》 Gutenberg's... oh, yes... Vaginaria.
这是原版的 That's an original.
本书由吸血鬼委员会古物图书馆提供
这是托克维尔的《欲火焚身》小册子 Oh, this is, uh, Tocqueville's Lusty Discharge Pamphlet,
摸上去真的有放电的感觉 with discharge on it, by the feel of it.
《埃及最长的阴茎 》 Egypt's Longest Penises.
本书由吸血鬼委员会古物图书馆提供
罗伊 · 科恩 《时尚先生》的169种性爱姿势 Roy Cohn, Esquire's 169 Sex Positions.
本书由吸血鬼委员会古物图书馆提供
我敢打赌你不知道有这种东西 Bet you didn't know that existed.
这是什么？ What's this?
亚里士多德《诗学》第二卷 Aristotle's Book of Poetics Two.
那是暗号吗？ Is that code?
不是 No.
嘿 我找到了！ Hey, I found them!
- 档案室 -好的 - The archives. - Okay.
今年 我100岁了 - This year, I am turning 100 years old.
这有点让我陷入沉思 It's kind of got me in a reflective mood.
你想知道的关于吸血鬼和 Everything you want to know about vampires
吸血鬼血统的一切 就在这里 and vampire lineage, it's right here.
我想知道的太多了 There's so much I want to know.
我从哪里来？ Where do I come from?
我是怎么变成精力吸血鬼的？ How did I become an energy vampire?
我是被转变的 Was I turned,
或者用嘎嘎女神的话说 or in the words of Stefani Germanotta,
我生来就是这样的？ was I born this way?
我对自己说 柯林 - I said to myself, "Colin,"
我说 我说 I says. I says,
在100岁之前 "Before you turn 100 years old,
你会弄明白自己是谁 "you are going to find out who you are
从哪里来 and where you come from."
嗯 就是这些 Uh, I says.
这里一定留下蛛丝马迹 The deets have got to be in here.
因为 这座堡垒 I mean, this is
受气候控制 a climate-controlled fortress,
用来永久 built to preserve documents
保存文件的 for all eternity.
所以.. So it's...
你在干什么？ What-what are you doing?
你为什么要把那一页从书上撕下来？ Why are you ripping that page out of that book?
我撸我的 你撸你的 I'll wank my way, and you wank yours.
噢 天呐 这里好大的土气 Oh, wow. It's really dusty in here.
是时候穿上你的法衣了 Time for your official council vestments, eh?
嘿 你轻点 Hey, easy there.
这可是件长袍 It's a robe.
- 为什么要量我的裆? -他那里有44码！ - Why do you need my inseam? -He's a 44 long!
你得从腰部收进去 You'll probably have to take it in at the waist
再从肩膀出来 and out in the shoulders.
嘿 从通风口出来！ Hey, get out of the vent!
让你们的亲信离开通风口 Tell your familiar to get out of the vent.
他不是亲信 是保镖 He's not a familiar. He's a bodyguard.
从通风口出来 吉尔莫 Get out of the vent, Guillermo!
他又在调皮了 He's a rascal.
从通风口出来 回你的房间去 Get out of the vent. Go back into your room.
小淘气 Little rascal.
好了 你们的衣服马上就好 All right, your alterations will be ready momentarily.
- 太好了 -在那之前 可以看看我们收集的奇闻异事 - Great. - Until then, you may peruse our collection of oddities
我要去水电公司对对账 while I deal with the water and power company
最近的账单有些不符之处 about some discrepancies in our latest bill.
我想和你们谈谈... I was wondering if I could talk to you about...
我一看到复制斗篷 The moment I saw the Cloak of Duplication
就知道它是我爱情的助攻神器 I knew it was the answer to my romantic difficulties.
最近一直在和我的女朋友梅格争吵 You see, I've been struggling with my girlfriend, Meg.
其实她还不是我女朋友 She is not actually my girlfriend yet.
她在大众健身工作 Meg works at Massive Fitness,
那是一家全天营业的健身房 我以前常去 a 24-hour gymnasium I used to attend.
回想我指挥军队的时候 Back when I was commanding an army,
士兵和我会脱光衣服 the soldiers and I would strip naked
互相挑战 and challenge each other
进行各种各样的耐力和力量的比拼 to various feats of endurance and strength.
而大众健身健身房的男士们 The men at Massive Fitness 24-hour gymnasium,
对这些都不感兴趣 they're not really interested in any of that.
-好像都没怎么注意对方 - Don't seem to notice each other much,
或者互相欣赏对方的身体 or admire each other's bodies.
-哎呀 -在这儿的最大好处就是 - Oops. - The best thing about Massive Fitness 24-hour gymnasium
我和梅格可以经常联系 is the connection I have with Meg.
她对我很好 She has shown me much kindness.
不幸的是 我们还没有进一步的发展 Unfortunately, we have not yet taken things to the next level.
你真有趣 You're funny.
谢谢你的夸奖 Thank you for that compliment.
还有毛巾 And for the towel.
我喜欢你的口音 是法语吗？ I love your accent. Is it French?
不 No.
不 不是的 No, it is not.
我从来都不善于 I have never been very good
和现代女性交谈 at talking to modern women.
不过幸运的是 我认识一个人可以帮忙 But fortunately, I know someone who can help.
拉兹洛 : Laszlo.
-拉兹洛. - 啊 在! - Laszlo. - Ah, yeah!
你要干嘛？ What do you want?
我偷了复制斗篷 I have purloined the Cloak of Duplication.
拉兹洛是个讨女人喜欢的男人 Laszlo is a real ladies' man.
他总是知道如何与女人交谈 He always knows how to talk to women.
什么? 等一下 What? So hang on a second.
你想让我穿上那个 You want me to put that on,
- 嗯 -变成你的样子 - Mm. - Turn into you,
- 嗯哼 -找一个叫梅格的女士 - Mm-hmm. - Pull this young lady called Meg.
- 是的 梅格 -用六种体位和她做爱做到切尔西 （伦敦自治城市 为文艺界人士聚居地） - Yes, Meg. - Make love to her six ways till Chelsea.
再回到这儿 来击个掌 Come back here. High fives all 'round.
不 不 不 只要第一部分就行了 No, no, no, just the first bit is fine.
剩下的我来 我把它放在这里 And then I'll take care of the rest. I'll leave it here.
南多让你穿上这个 - Nandor wants you to put that on,
变成他 和一个叫梅格的女人搭讪 turn into him, pull this woman called Meg,
然后回来 and then come back.
我想自己去 但是.. I'd go myself, but...
我不想被人上 I can't be fucked.
当然 我经常幻想自己 I've often fancied myself
和女人调情很厉害 quite the seducer, obviously.
有一种技巧叫 否定 There's a technique called "negging"
我很想试试 that I'm eager to try.
我可以解释给你听 但你可能太天真了 I'd explain it to you, but you're probably too naive
理解不了 to understand it.
我看起来怎么样？ How do I look?
算了 你的意见不重要 Never mind, your opinion doesn't matter.
现在你又饥渴了 因为你又被拒绝了 And now you're horny because you just got negged again.
啥也看不见 I can't see dick.
这样好多了 看着点 学着点 That's better. Watch and learn.
- 哦 嘿 南多 - Oh, hey, Nandor.
有一阵子没见到你了 I haven't seen you in a while.
嘿 笨蛋. Hey, dipshit.
你说什么？ Excuse me?
以前有个辣妹在这里工作 Uh, there used to be a hot chick who worked here.
我想是梅格吧？ Meg, I think?
我就是梅格 I'm Meg.
你更性感 You were hotter.
你他妈的有什么毛病？ What the fuck is your problem?
好了 放松点 宝贝 Okay, calm down, toots.
太敏感了 So sensitive.
让我切入正题 Let me cut to the chizzle:
生活并不像你计划的那样 Life didn't turn out the way you planned.
你是一个在健身房夜间工作的色衰的美人 You're a fading beauty working nights at the gym.
你可能有过一些男朋友 You've probably had a string of boyfriends
他们承诺给你整个世界 然后落实在了 who promised you the world, and then delivered it
四英寸长的阴茎上 on a four-inch penis.
那么 现在你的机会来了 Well, here's your chance.
你现在就可以跟我走 You can leave with me right now,
或者看着这些热腾腾的家伙永远离开这扇门 or watch these hot buns walk out the door forever.
等等 我去收拾下东西 Hang on. Let me just get my stuff.
好的 你去吧 Okay, you do that.
我就在这儿等着 Just wait right here.
我就在这儿等你哦 These buns will be waiting for you.
- 太好了 -你看到了吗？ - Great. - Did you see that?
瞧瞧我这聪明的大脑袋 My brain in this package,
那可怜的孩子一点机会都没有 that poor kid never stood a chance.
- 嘿 伙计 你在找事吗? -你好 - Hey, buddy. We got a problem here? - Hello.
- 嘿 没有 伙计 -把这些该死的摄像机从我面前拿开 - Hey. No problem, buddy. - Get these fucking cameras out of my face.
- 我们走吧 出去吧 -你应该 呃 我们该溜了 - Let's go. Get out, man. - You should, uh, we-we should skedaddle.
- 滚开 -我们快溜吧 - Fuck off. - Let's skedaddle here.
-该死 - Shit.
没想到会这样 Didn't see that coming.
- 哦! -那简直就在浪费时间 - Ooh! - Well, that was a complete waste of time.
- 她根本不喜欢男人 -真的吗？ - She's clearly not into guys. - Really?
- 不骗你 -要我去试试吗？ - Yeah. - Should I give it a go?
去吧 You can try.
我的意思是 她不喜欢饰钉 I mean, she's not into studs,
也许你的运气会好一点 so maybe you'll have better luck.
柯林 · 鲁宾逊 Colin Robinson,
我们要去皇后区 we are going to Queens.
一个流氓吸血鬼组织没有支付费用 A rogue vampire group hasn't paid their dues,
需要你记录一下 and we need you to take notes.
我原本想说的！ I wanted to say it!
我们正在走访皇后区的一个流氓吸血鬼组织 We are visiting a rogue vampire cell in Queens.
他们会尝到我们的怒火 然后迅速屈服 They will taste our wrath and quickly submit.
我准备把事态扩大 I am prepared to escalate matters to crazy levels.
这更像是礼貌性的拜访 It's more of a courtesy call.
我得敲门 I get to knock.
喂 Yo.
终于 处女来了.. Finally, virgins...
- 韦斯 · 布兰肯希普? -是的 - Wes Blankenship? - Yes.
- 你好 我是南多 -你拒绝了所有的通讯请求 - Greetings, I am Nandor. - You have ignored all attempts at communication.
- 这位是娜嘉 -现在你要么投降 要么我就 -This is Nadja, -Bend the knee or I will
- 他是柯林 · 鲁宾逊 -叫柯林 · 鲁宾逊了 - and he is Colin Robinson. - Unleash Colin Robinson.
怎么了？ Wassup?
我们是这儿的新吸血鬼议会 We are your new Vampiric Council.
有段时间没有你的消息了 We have not heard from you in a while,
所以想过来看看是否一切都好 so we thought we'd pop by and see if all is well.
- 好吧进来吧 -等一下 等一下！ All right, just come on in. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
我一直想这么做 I always wanted to do this:
我叫韦斯 · 布兰肯希普 My name is Wes Blankenship
欢迎来到我家！ and welcome to my crib!
进来吧 宝贝！ Let's go, baby!
希望你不介意我在这里做记录 Hope you don't mind if I take notes in here.
不 不 你不能来这里 No, no. You are not allowed here.
她生气了 这是女人的常态 She's angry, as women so often are.
求你了 美女 Please, good lady.
我知道我之前来过 但不管我说了什么 I know I came here earlier, but whatever I said-,
我不记得了... 那不是我 and I don't remember... I wasn't myself.
你骂我是笨蛋 所以... Well, you started by calling me dipshit, so...
那肯定是我发神经了 Proof of naught but mine own delirium.
亲爱的 你有着像爱尔兰赛马冠军一样 You, my darling, have the high, firm ass
-性感的翘臀 -好吧 - of an Irish Derby winner. - Okay, um...
好吧 我是有些唐突了 Okay, I've gone a little bit too fast too soon,
但听我说完 but hear me out.
事实上 我来这里是想向你求爱 Truth is, I came here to pitch woo
但我太紧张了 but was so nervous,
就吃了镇静药 缓解缓解 I took a calming physic to settle my nerves.
那个药把我变成了一个该死的怪物 That drug turned me into a fucking monster.
天啊 你吃的是氯硝西泮吗？ Shit, was it Klonopin?
没错 就是那个 Indeed. That one.
嗯 我真的受不了了 Yeah, you know, I can't take it anymore myself.
噢 这一点上我们非常相似 Oh. We are very much alike, then.
我能给你唱首歌吗？ Could I sing you something?
噢天啊 行吧 : Oh, God, uh, I-I guess.
-梅格 -呃... 哇哦 - Meg. - Uh... Wow.
好尴尬的一首歌 That's very embarrassing.
- 我在工作... -别说了 - You know, I'm-I'm at work, so... - Say no more.
我可以给你看点东西吗？ May I show you something?
我的意见有用吗 I feel like you're going to anyway.
这里是我见过的 Some of the most licentious and transgressive pornography
最淫秽和违法的色情作品 I've ever clapped eyes on.
- 克里斯! -操 - Chris! - Fuck.
你什么都不会记得 You will remember nothing.
放开我 你这该死的乡巴佬 Unhand me, you bloody peasant.
南多是怎么待在这个人猿一样的躯体里的？ How does Nandor get this fucking ape body to work?
好了 Okay.
你这个变态 不得踏进这里半步 You're officially banned, you pervert.
滚得远远的 Just fuck off.
你才应该他妈的滚开 秃头 You fuck off, you bald prick.
还他妈的敢骂我 Fucking swear at me.
你们之所以从来没听说过我们 So, look, the reason why you guys haven't heard from us is
因为在这个家族里 because, well, this clan,
我们不承认吸血鬼议会 we rejects the authority of the Vampiric Council.
嘿悠着点 普克 - Uh, hey, slow down there, puck.
我会记下来你说的是 欢迎来到我的小窝... I have you at, "Welcome to my crib..."
所以 我们建立了自己的管理机构 So, we've set up our own governing body.
是的 我们叫做吸血鬼理事会 - Yeah. We're called The Council Of Vampires.
或许你们会想加入我们 Maybe you guys would like to join us.
只有一个吸血鬼议会 There is only one Vampiric Council,
你们要么接受我们的领导 要么承担后果 and you will either bend the knee or face the consequences.
- 那是.. - : Yes, that's...
典型的等级观念 Typical hierarchical mindset cope.
- 别指着我! -快瞧 她急了 - Don't you point at me! - Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
韦斯 你看起来是个通情达理的吸血鬼 Wes, you seem like a very reasonable vampire.
- 我们也是讲道理的吸血鬼 -我不讲道理 - We are also reasonable vampires. - I'm not.
-我们来谈谈 - Let's talk about this.
等一下 艾许 你能帮我接一下吗？ Uh, hold on. A-Ash, can you, can you get that please?
我为什么要这么做? 我数了 一 二.. Why do I have to do it? I count one, two...
- 因为我在和这些老人说话 老人 -好吧 - Because I'm talking to the old people. The elderly. - Yeah, okay.
我的额头上写着秘书吗？ Do I have "secretary" written on my forehead?
他们会忘记自己在和谁说话 They're gonna forget who they're talking to.
- 好吧 但我不明白 -好吧 - Okay, but I'm not getting it. - All right, fine.
我去接电话 I'll get it.
伙计们 失陪一下 You guys, please excuse me for a sec.
- 要我把他们的争吵记下来吗? -都记下来 - Should I write down their bickering? - Write it all down.
我们在做笔记 你在做什么？ We're taking notes. What are you doing?
这叫做外交 It is called diplomacy.
更像是在舔屁眼 Licking their assholes, more like.
该死 Oh, shit.
鲁宾逊先生？ Mr. Robinson?
我是戴夫 · 路易斯 能量吸血鬼 Dave Lewis, energy vampire.
我是你的超级粉丝 I'm-I'm a huge fan.
好吧 谢谢你 我的无聊同伴 Well, thank you, a fellow borer.
- 你很无聊吗? -一直都是 - Do you bore a lot? - All the time.
向我的年轻朋友问好 : Say hello to my little friend.
你确定你找对了科林 · 鲁宾逊吗？ Are you sure you have the right Colin Robinson?
天啊 Holy shit.
别碰那本书 吉兹莫 Don't touch that book, Gizmo.
你的老二承受不来 It's too much for your young cock.
对不起 我知道我不应该在这里 Sorry. I know I'm not supposed to be in here.
小心点 Just watch yourself.
否则 这将是因色情导致的自杀 Otherwise, it'll be suicide by porno.
那是复制斗篷吗？ Is that the Cloak of Duplication?
我觉得那个东西不碰为好 I thought we weren't supposed to touch that.
- 谁在乎呢? -我能 - Who gives a shit? - Well, can I
我能摸摸吗？ can I touch it?
如果你想帮南多一个忙 Actually, if you want to do Nandor a favor,
你可以穿上它去大众健身中心 you could put that on, head down to Massive Fitness
和一个叫梅格的接待员约会 and get a date with a receptionist called Meg.
我试了试运气 但她显然不喜欢男人 I tried my luck, but she's clearly not into guys.
我催眠了她 这样你就可以重新开始了 I hypnotized her, so you'll start from a clean slate.
噢 哇哦 : Oh, wow. Wow.
拉兹洛 快看. Laszlo, look.
我看起来就和南多一模一样 I look just like Nandor.
是啊 不可思议 快滚 Yeah, uncanny. Bugger off.
啊 这太棒了 : Ah, this is awesome.
我能飞 I can fly.
飞！噢飞不起来 Bat! I-I can't fly.
那么 你们一般在 So, what kind of drains
- 这里都做什么? -大部分都是跟大麻有关的 - are you pulling here? - Mostly weed-related stuff.
苜蓿和籼 将规则合法化 Indica v. Sativa, legalization rules,
大麻二酚 加了大麻的食用品 高浓度大麻.. CBD, edibles, shatter...
- 我可以继续说下去 -天啊 - I could go on and I do. - Geez.
这些绝对能让我保持肥胖和快乐 Definitely keeping me fat and happy.
我也是个运动鞋迷 I'm also kind of a sneakerhead
并且我刚买了一架无人机 and I just bought a camera drone.
- 大家都不喜欢 -我也这么觉得 - People hate it. - I bet.
我问你个问题 戴夫 · 路易斯 Let me, uh, ask you a question, Dave Lewis.
你有没有想过我们是从哪里来的？ Do you ever wonder where we come from?
能量吸血鬼是从哪里来的？ You know, energy vampires?
兄弟 我从来没想过 Boy, it never even occurred to me.
我不知道 - Uh, no idea, you know?
天啊 Holy shit.
你在对我失望吗 兄弟？ Are you draining me, bro?
- 没有-我觉得你知道我在说什么 - No. - You're getting me, I think.
- 不 我不会这么对你的 -是啊 - No, I-I wouldn't do that to you. - : Yeah.
你们只是看起来在听 It seems like you guys are listening,
但是没有真正听进去 - but you're not really hearing.
是的 我们什么都听到了 不是吗？ We are. We are listening to everything, aren't we?
我们不会盲目支持 We are not interested in blindly supporting
基于大杂烩和演绎舞蹈 作出专横武断判断 a self-appointed soviet given to arbitrary judgments
的一个自封的苏维埃组织 based on mumbo jumbo and interpretive dance.
什么... 事情不是这样的 Wha... That's not exactly how it works.
我们会减少仪式性的舞蹈 We are definitely cutting back on the ritualistic dancing.
哈! 我们才不会呢 Ha! Like hell we are.
- 嘘 -我们可以晚点再讨论这个 - Shh. - We can discuss this later.
委员会提供许多重要的服务 The Council provides a lot of important services.
- 比如说? -比如说 关你屁事！ - Mm, like what? - Like how about it's none of your fucking business!
你们这些家伙看起来真的没有资格管这些破事 You guys really do not seem qualified to be running shit.
等等 等等 - Wait, wait, wait, wait.
“你们似乎没有资格管... ...” "You guys don't seem qualified to be running..."
- 别写下来 -抱歉 你有什么资格管这事？ - Don't write that down. - I'm sorry, what shit are you qualified to run?
我有城市规划硕士学位 I have a master's degree in urban planning.
- 我能和你去厨房谈谈吗? -好的 - Could I speak to you in the kitchenette for a moment? - Yeah.
擦掉最后一点 Erase that last bit.
我不知道他有硕士学位 I didn't know he had a master's degree.
我们该怎么办？ What are we going to do?
我也不知道 Eh.
好吧 Okay.
你知道, - You know,
我记得你之前总来 I feel like you used to come around all the time.
- 为什么我再也没见过你? -哦呃.. - How come I don't see you anymore? - Oh, um...
主要是工作 Work, mostly.
现在真的很忙 It's been real busy at the moment,
我感觉很糟糕 and I feel kind of bad
因为我最好的朋友 because, you know, my-my best friend,
他帮我搞到了健身房会员卡 he actually got me this gym membership,
但我不怎么用所以.. and I don't really use it, so...
顺便说一句他叫吉尔莫 Uh, he's called Guillermo, by the way.
但他总是为我做这样的事 But, I mean, he's always doing things like that for me,
我觉得这是理所当然的 and I just kind of take it for granted.
所以 你知道的 这就是我的做事方法 : So, you know, that's what I do.
噢 南多 那太糟糕了 Well, Nandor, that's terrible.
他不会想和你继续做朋友的 He-he's not gonna want to stay friends with you.
不 他会的 No, he will.
但是有点尴尬 But it's-it's kind of awkward
因为我们一起工作 because we work together.
但如果你对某人有某种感觉 But if you feel a certain way about someone,
而且你心里有压力 那么.. and you've got something weighing on your heart, then...
确实 : Okay.
这家伙一定很特别 This guy must be really special.
是的 非常特别 He is. Very.
我们来谈谈你 近来可好？ Let's talk about you. How are you?
不 我 我觉得你应该下班后跟他走走 No, I-I think that you should take him out
告诉他你的感受 one day after work and tell him how you feel.
也许他也有话对你说 It could be he has feelings for you, too.
心事 不 那是.. Feelings, no, that's...
我们只是工作上的朋友所以.. We're just work friends, so that's...
我得走了 Got to go.
对不起 Sorry.
他在公然挑衅 所以他必须离开 He's being openly defiant. He needs to go.
你知道我能听见的对吧？ - You know I can hear you, right?
- 吸血鬼监听中 -我没意见 - Vampire hearing. - Yeah, I'm okay with that.
我们这里的人数明显比他们多 对吧？ We are clearly outnumbered here, yes?
我建议我们撤退 重新部署并制定战略 I suggest we retreat, regroup and strategize.
- 好吧 -就这样！ - Fine. - Yes!
见到你真是太好了 韦斯 It has been so wonderful to meet you, Wes.
- 真心的 -是啊 - Genuinely. - Yeah.
你赐予了我们这么多 You have given us so much to
嘿... 该死 Hey... Shit.
我早就料到了 Saw that coming.
该死 Oh, shit.
看看这个 Oh, look at that.
议会会费在每月的 Council dues are due on the first full moon
第一个月圆之时交 -好 - 行 - of every month. -Okay. - Yeah.
有意见么？ Any questions?
我觉得没 Didn't think so.
请尊重你的长老 Respect your elders.
柯林 鲁宾逊 拿我的斗篷来 Colin Robinson, get my cape.
- 收到 -那老太太怎么样？ - Got it. - How's that for an old lady?
嘿 保重 戴夫 Hey, you take care now, Dave.
我要去见我亲爱的梅格 I'm going to see my sweet Meg,
知道拉兹洛和他的花言巧语 knowing that Laszlo and his silver tongue
为我奠定了基础 have laid a foundation for me
让我重拾信心 - has given me a new confidence.
嘿 又回来了 Hey, back again.
- 我的幸运之夜 -是的 - My lucky night. - Yes.
我之前来过 I know I was here earlier.
你让我非常开心 You made me laugh very much,
我们谈到.. when we talked about, uh...
那个为你工作的人 吉尔莫？ The guy who works for you, Guillermo?
- 真的? -你看起来真的很喜欢他 - Really? - You seem really into him.
这就是我们要说的吗？ That's really what we were talking about?
只是.. It's just that, uh...
我该怎么说呢？ How should I put this?
梅格 你才是我喜欢的那个人 Meg, it is you who are the person that I am into.
我相信 你是我一生的挚爱 I believe that you are the love of my life.
我们应该永远在一起 I believe that we should be together forever.
你知道我不喜欢男人 对吧？ You know I'm not into guys, right?
我喜欢女人 I-I like women.
我也是 So do I.
你喜欢男人和女人 没关系 You like men and women. That's okay.
是的 你喜欢女人和男人吗？ Yes, and you like women and men?
不 只是女人 我是个女同性恋 No, just women. I'm a lesbian.
- 你确定? -百分百 - Are you sure? - Definitely sure.
你会忘记这一切 You will remember nothing.
- 操 -死臭脸 - Fuck. - Fuckface.
我警告过你永远不要露面 I thought I told you to never show your face.
该死的家伙 Fucking guy.
你还好吗？ Are you okay?
- 开 -喂 娜嘉 - Open. - Hey, Nadja.
我才刚开始睡觉 I have just commenced my slumber.
今晚在皇后区发生的事绝不能再发生了 What happened in Queens tonight can never, ever happen again.
你怎么了？ What is wrong with you?
我不知道 I don't know.
美国生活是不是已经让你变成了一个傻逼大怂货？ Has living in America made you into a big, wet pussy?
我最近经历了一些事情 I think I've just been going through some things lately.
你有没有想过也许 Do you ever wonder that maybe
这种生活还有更多可能性 there is more to this life
而不仅仅是血腥无情的杀戮？ than just mindless killing and bloodlust?
- 有 -是吗？ - Yeah. - You do?
不! 当然不是！ No! Of course not!
那是因为你有拉兹洛可以分享你的生活！ That is because you have Laszlo to share your life with!
你成了一个非常非常软弱的男孩 You have turned into a very, very soft boy.
你就一直睡在棺材里吧 How about you slumber on that?
- 晚安! -嘿！ - Good night! - Hey!
又怎么了？ What is it now?
- 傻逼! -滚开！ - Pussy! - Go away!
你真是个吓破了胆的软蛋 You are a scared little soft boy.
说到柔 我现在就要捏捏你的小弟弟 Speaking of soft, I'm squeezing your pipi right now.
奈我如何？ How do you like that?
拿开你的臭手！ Get your hands off my pipi!
它就像我身上一块多余的肉荡来荡去 It is like a piece of extra meat dangling
拿开你的臭手！ - off the end of my body. - Get your hands off it!
拉兹洛 想试试你一直想的那玩意儿吗？ Laszlo, you know that thing you always wanted to try?
什么鸟人 Fucking guy.