那是...过...过来 那是男爵 That's the... C-Come here. That's the Baron.
-来吧 巴里 -来吧 - Come on, Barry. - Come on.
我们超级嗨 We are so high.
我们嗑了毒血 We're on drugblood.
把帽子戴上 没错 Put the hat on. Oh, yeah...
-不好 -靠 - Oh! Ugh, no. - Shit.
-我把他弄成两半了 -他的尸体成两半了 - I broke his half off. - His bodies' half off.
不不不 他正在从地下钻上来 No, no, no, he's just coming through the floor.
吉尔莫 Guillermo?
帮帮我们 别傻站在那 Help us! Don't just stand there.
我觉得那不是吉尔莫 I don't think that's Guillermo.
-吉尔莫 -不 - Guillermo? - No.
不不 南多 那是登山机 N-No, Nandor, that's the StairMaster.
帮助登山的机器[楼梯主人] The master of the stairs.
-我们搞砸了 事态很糟 -吉尔莫在哪 - We fucked up. This is bad. - Where's Guiller...
吉尔莫 Guillermo!
老天 老天 老天 Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God. Oh, my God...
吸血鬼生活 第一季 第七集
我们今晚相聚于我们的后院 We are gathered here tonight in our backyard
以纪念男爵的第二次死亡 to commemorate the second death of the Baron.
我们正举行典礼 We are having a ceremony
以纪念男爵的离去 to commemorate the Baron's passing.
但是问题是 Problem is, though,
我们不记得他是怎么死的了 we don't remember how he died,
因为我们嗑毒血嗑得昏天黑地 because we were absolutely messed up on drugblood.
出于尊敬 我们决定将你埋葬在 And as a sign of respect, we have decided to bury you
我最喜欢的两个阴道之间 betwixt my two favorite vaginas:
也就是我妻子的和我母亲的之间 that of my wife and my mother.
男爵 我们一起度过了美好而下流的一段时间 Baron, such a wonderful, filthy times we did have.
你死后的生活是多么的精彩 What a way to live your life after death,
你去世的方式是多么的出众 and what a way to die.
我们是谋杀了他吗 Did we murder him?
我们...我们也许考虑过谋杀他 We, um, we might have floated the idea of murdering him,
但我们没动手 but we didn't do it.
没有吧 Did we?
我觉得发生了某件可怕的事 Oh, I think something awful happened.
靠 Fuck.
也许我们应该保守秘密 Maybe we should keep this under our hats.
如果任何吸血鬼发现了这件事 那么... If any vampires find out about this, then it...
让男爵最后喝一口吧 Give the Baron his last sip.
应该的 Of course.
把他放进来 So just get him in.
-好的 -再见 男爵 - Yep. - Goodbye, Baron.
主人 有只乌鸦在盯着我们 Master, there's a raven looking at us.
这是个坏兆头 It is a bad omen.
意味着厄运正在逼近 It means that bad luck is approaching.
伙计们 Hey, gang.
怎么样呀 What's up?
天哪 Oh, my God.
你们把他杀了吗 Did-did you guys kill him?
-不是 没人谋杀他 - 我们只是发现他在这里 - No! No one murdered him. - We found him in there.
我只是在和你们闹着玩 I'm just giving you guff.
对了 我现在在吸你们的元气 And, uh, just so you know, I am feeding on you guys right now.
柯林 你真的让人讨厌 You can be such a prick, Colin.
这话我不是头回听了 I have heard that.
糟了 男爵的亲信 Shit. The Baron's familiar.
天上乌鸦更多了 它们往我身上拉屎 There's more ravens. They're giving me the shits.
吉尔莫 帮我们挡住这些乌鸦 Guillermo, shield us from the ravens.
天上都飞满乌鸦了 The sky is filled with them.
-不行了 我们还是进屋里去吧 -进去吧 - No, let's just go inside. - Let's go inside.
把坑填上 继续填 Fill the hole. Keep filling.
但是乌鸦 But the ravens...
到处都是 They're everywhere!
前面草坪上也全是乌鸦 There are ravens all over the front lawn now, too.
它们在吓唬我们 但是不管用的 They're trying to frighten us. But it won't work.
-什么情况 -主人 - What is going on? - Master.
门口走廊上飘着个女人 There's a floating woman on the front porch.
她有话要跟你说 She needs to talk to you.
你被召唤了 You have been summoned...
请前往餮血兽神庙里的 ...to appear before the Vampiric Council
吸血鬼议会报到 at the Temple of Blood-Devourers.
你难道不能打个电话吗 Could you not have just telephoned?
我们派来了乌鸦 We sent ravens.
我们派来了500只乌鸦 We sent 500 ravens!
是啊 可是我有电话 Yes, but we have a telephone.
你们真是让人发指 竟然没让乌鸦回来 I'm shocked and appalled that you didn't raven us back.
我不会用 We didn't know how.
你只用说 "乌鸦 我们会去的 谢谢你 飞吧" 就好了 You just say, "Raven, we will be there. Thank you. Fly."
你被邀请了 You've been invited.
你难道就不能打个电话吗 Couldn't you just have telephoned?
吸血鬼议会是个很古老的组织 The Vampiric Council is a very ancient organization.
势力强大 而且 很显然 十分可怕 Very powerful. And, apparently, very scary.
他们遍及世界各个角落 They travel from all corners of the globe
对违反了吸血鬼准则的吸血鬼 to administer supreme and final justice upon any vampire
进行终极审判 who's violated the Vampiric Code.
那次拉兹洛把婴儿变成了吸血鬼 差点被召唤了 Laszlo was very nearly summoned when he turned a baby into a vampire,
这可是禁忌 which is a big no-no.
确实 你不应该那样做 It's true. You're not supposed to do that.
老实说 我当时太无聊了 But, to be honest, I was bored.
我把婴儿给布朗克斯区的一个熟人了 I gave it to an acquaintance in the Bronx,
我相信他还活着 where, I believe, it remains to this day.
那个婴儿现在应该差不多90岁了 That baby would be about 90 years old now.
你当时真的搞砸了 You really fucked up there.
的确是 I certainly did.
也许我们应该去拜访一下 Maybe we should visit it.
还是算了 I'd rather not.
血之庙 吞噬者
就是这里 Here it is.
好的 所以很显然我们都很紧张 Okay, so, obviously, we are all on edge.
召唤我们来的原因太多了 This could be about anything,
所以我们不能提到那事 你懂我指哪件事 so we must say nothing about you-know-what.
当然了 Obviously.
就是那个女人 It is that woman.
我觉得她想让我们进去 I think she wants us to come inside.
又见面了 Hello again.
跟我来 Follow me.
很高兴你们能来 So glad you could make it.
请进 Enter.
她怎么做到的 How did she do that?
我们到了 And we're here.
跟我走 And follow me.
她怎么做到的 How does she do that?
特别法庭成员已经聚集在审判庭 The Tribunal have gathered in the Chamber of Judgment,
你们会在那里受到审判 and there you'll be put on trial.
为什么这条走廊没有尽头 Why does this hallway never end?
这就是条很长的走廊 Well, it's just a freaky-long hallway.
我还以为议会挺大的 I thought the Council was bigger than that.
-我们或许可以和他们一战 -别说话 - Maybe we can battle them. - Shh!
请进 Enter.
人类不许进 Not the human.
这是吸血鬼的审判 吉尔莫 Vampire-only trial, Guillermo.
我会怎么样 What will happen to me?
你会明白[看见]的 Oh, you'll see.
抱歉 我喉咙里 Sorry, I have a...
有一个小血泡 little blood bubble in my throat.
你会看见 You'll see...
在走廊尽头有一间为亲信准备的房间 a room at the end of the hallway for the familiars.
路德维格会把你带到亲信休息室 Ludwig will take you to the familiar lounge.
路德维格 路德维格 Ludwig. Ludwig.
路德维格 Ludwig!
我来吧 跟我走 小心脚下 I'll just do it. Follow me. Watch your step.
我不用小心 因为我在滑行 I don't have to, I glide.
晚上好 阁下们 Good evening, Your Excellencies.
这位是渎神者瓦西里卡 This is Vasillika the Defiler.
你们好 Hello.
我是 And I am...
加勒特 Garrett.
加勒特 Garrett the...
吸血鬼 The vampire.
简单 很好 Simple. Nice.
你好 吸血鬼加勒特 Hi, Garrett the vampire.
告诉我们 男爵怎么了 Now, what happened with the Baron?
他死了 He's dead.
-各位我们很抱歉 -不是我们害死他的 - Sorry, everyone. - It w... we didn't make him dead.
确实不是我们的错 是个误会 No, it's true. It was a misunderstanding.
开了个玩笑 我们说了 "为什么不杀男爵" Um, as a joke, we said, "Why not kill the Baron?"
如果你们当时在场 And if you were there at the time,
-你也会笑的 -对啊 - you, too, would have laughed. - Yes.
现在我们意识到这话很傻 Now we realize that it was probably a stupid thing to say,
我们真的很抱歉 and we are truly sorry,
我们非常严肃 and we're taking this very seriously.
这是我们的严肃脸 And these are our serious faces.
严肃 严肃 非常严肃 Serious, serious, serious.
跟过来 Follow.
你在做什么 What are you doing?
我给脸暖和下 这里太冷了 I'm warming my face. It's so cold in here.
那个是LED灯 Well, it's an LED light.
这里不可能有火 There's no way we could have fire.
火之祭司会发火的 The fire marshals would have a fit.
我得说我们 I have to say we are
深深地被你们的故事打动了 deeply moved by your story,
也许只是我 and-and maybe it's just me,
-但我认为你们什么罪都没有 瓦西里卡 -没有 - but I don't think you're guilty at all. Vasillika? - Mm, no,
我不认为你听起来有罪 I don't think you sound guilty.
我想他们或许会放你们走 I-I think... they might let you go.
抱歉 "他们"是指什么 Sorry, what do you mean by "They"?
吸血鬼议会 The Vampiric Council.
你们不是吸血鬼议会吗 You're not the Vampiric Council?
不 不 我们是这里的囚徒 No. No, we're... we're prisoners here.
不 我们被囚禁在这个乏味的地方 No, we have -been imprisoned in this boring room
有 一千年了吧 for... 1,000 years?
-真糟糕 -从1932年开始 - Oh, it's really awful. - Since 1932.
那没有一千年 That's not 1,000 years.
现在是哪年 What-what year is it?
2019年 It's 2019.
我们已经在这90年了 We have been here for 90 years.
-该死 -你做了什么 - Oh, shit. -What did you do?
我吗 亵渎了太多东西 Oh, me? Too much defiling.
他们说我把一个婴儿变成了吸血鬼 把它留在了布朗克斯 They say I turned a baby into a vampire and left it in the Bronx.
谁会做这种事 如果我知道是谁干的 Who would do such a thing? If I ever find out who did it,
我要用匕首 捅他们五千下 I will take a dagger and stab them 5,000 times
用这只手 再换这只手 with this hand, switch hands,
再捅五千下 and stab them another 5,000 times!
我折磨那个吸血鬼的方法 I can fill up this book
能写满这本书 with the ways I would torture that vampire.
真不想是那家伙 Wouldn't want to be him.
-那个可怜的孩子 -可怜 可怜的孩子 - That poor baby. - Poor, poor baby.
吸血鬼议会现在召你们会见 The Vampiric Council will see you now.
-也不用现在 -我说 现在 - Doesn't have to be right now. - I mean, right now...
现在 他们休息了一下 Right now. I... They had a break,
-现在已经准备好了 -他们.. - but they're ready now. - They...
你也是亲信吗 Are you a familiar, too?
是的 Yes.
欢迎 Welcome.
这就是你们接受审判的厅堂 This is the chamber where you will be tried.
你们可以闲荡[绞刑] You could hang...
-绞刑 -在此 直到审判开始 - Hang? - here, until the trial starts.
我觉得我们准备好了 I think we're ready.
-不 -我们没准备好 -我们准备好了 - No... - We are not ready. - Yes. We are ready.
-不 我们没准备好 -怎么回事 - No, we're not... - What? What's going...
判决表演开始 The spectacle of judgment begins.
这他妈是什么 What the hell is this?
这还挺精美的 That's very elaborate.
因为这可能会是你们在世上的最后一晚 Since this may be your last night of existence,
吸血鬼议会想要做点特别的事 the Vampiric Council likes to do something a little bit special.
他们为此排练了数十年 They rehearsed it for decades.
这太奇怪了 This is very odd.
这他妈是什么 What the blazes is this?
来自黑夜的黑暗问候 Dark greetings of the night
致来自五湖四海 to all the members
吸血鬼议会全体成员 of the Vampiric Council, from all the continents,
大家相聚于 gathered here together on...
-斯坦顿岛上 -斯 - Staten Island. - On St...
斯坦顿岛上 O-On Staten Island.
欢迎各位远亲近邻 Welcome, vampires from near and far,
莅临大吸血贵议会 to this here grand Vampiric Council,
以期裁定三位受指控之人 to judge over these three accused.
你肯定好奇 他们受到了什么指控 Accused of what, you may ask.
-谋杀罪 -吸血鬼谋杀罪 - Murder... - Vampire murder.
-吸血鬼谋杀罪 -抱歉 吸血鬼谋杀罪 - Vampire murder. - Sor... vampire murder.
这就是我们相聚于此的缘由 So that's why we're here.
现在我将介绍议会的领导者们 I'll now introduce the leaders of the council,
从蒂尔达开始 starting here with Tilda.
差不多算是我们的首领 Pretty much our leader.
-她负责做出重大决定 -你们好 - She's the one who makes all the big decisions. - Hello.
欢迎你 蒂尔达 Welcome, Tilda.
我是维亚哥·冯·多拿·史马顿 I am Viago Von Dorna Schmarten
谢顿·海姆伯格 Scheden Heimburg.
这位是迪肯·布鲁卡 This is Deacon Brucke.
-你们好 -穿刺公弗拉迪斯拉夫 - Hello. - Vladislav the Poker.
以及 We also have
伊凡 不死者的永生公主 Evan, the Immortal princess of the Undead.
你不必说全称 只说伊凡就行 没关系 You don't have to say my whole name. You can just say Evan, it's fine.
简称伊凡 Or just Evan.
还有谁 丹尼 Who else do we have? Danny.
你好啊 丹尼 一如既往地没穿衬衫 Hey, Danny. With his shirt off, as usual.
胸膛上满是炫酷墨西哥文身 Cool Mexican tattoos all over his chest.
-黑暗问候 各位 -欢迎 丹尼 - Dark greetings, everyone. - Welcome, Danny.
-保罗也在 -黑暗问候 各位 黑暗问候 - We also have Paul. - Dark greetings, everyone. Dark greetings.
来到这真是太好了 Great to be here.
-罗伯 罗伯在吗 -他来不了 - Rob... Wh... Is Rob here? Is... - Couldn't make it.
罗伯不在吗 We couldn't get Rob?
不在 我和罗伯谈过 他不想 Uh, no, I-I talked to Rob, he didn't...
他不想来 想抛在脑后 didn't want to come. Want to... leave it behind.
没关系 他不想来 基弗 That's fine. No, he didn't want to be here. Kiefer?
我没看到基弗 I don't see Kiefer.
基弗说他想来 但他来不了 Kiefer said that he wanted to do it, but he couldn't come.
-他很忙吗 -汤姆和布拉德 - He was busy? - Tom and Brad...
-汤姆 不 -不感兴趣 - Tom, not... No. - Not interested.
-汤姆和布拉德 怎么说 -不感兴趣 - Tom and Bra... Well... - Not into it.
他们不像我们那么忠诚 They're not committed like us.
这只是有没有空的问题 It's just an availability thing.
-有谁到场 -正在视频通话 - Well, who is here? - Calling in via Skype,
我们有日行者卫斯理 we have Wesley over there, the day-walker.
卫斯理 Wesley!
-嘿 卫斯理 -视频通了吗 - Hey, Wesley. - Is this working?
-看看他 -天 不想看到他 - Look at him then... - Oh, God, not this fucking guy.
他是吸血鬼杀手 He is a vampire killer!
他是半个吸血鬼 Hey, he is half vampire.
他的意见仍然很重要 His opinion still counts.
那我只听他一半的建议 Yeah, well, I'm only listening to half his opinion.
-看他在阳光下的样子 -炫耀 - Look at him in the sunlight. - Showing off.
能听到我吗 Can you hear me?
卫斯理 能听到我们吗 Wesley, can you hear us?
-能听到我说话吗 -有延迟 - Hey, can you hear me? - There's a lag.
视频通话看起来有故障 The Skype seems glitchy.
-有人吗 -按静音 - Hello? - Push the mute button.
有个小麦克风 周围有一个环 It looks like a little microphone, it's got a-got a ring around it.
-我正在按 -你现在能听见了吗 - I'm pushing it. - Can you hear us now?
我能听见 黑暗问候 I can hear you. Dark greetings.
很好 Okay. Great.
继续 作为吸血鬼法律 Moving on. As is vampire law,
我们今晚也请到了一位 we also have a local vampire here
本地的吸血鬼柯林·鲁宾逊 on the council this evening, Colin Robinson.
你们好 Hello.
你他妈在这里干什么 What the fuck are you doing here?
现在 Okay, now...
我们为什么要聚集在"斯坦提"岛 So why are we gathered on "Statee" Island?
因为我们的一个兄弟离开了这个世界 Because one of our brothers has passed from this world.
阿法纳斯男爵 被誉为不朽的吸血鬼 Baron Afanas, also known as The Undying One.
他死了 这就是我们在这里的原因 Well, he died. That's why we're here.
传唤证人 Call the witness.
第一位证人 First witness.
-靠 -天啊 - Oh, shit. - Oh, good grief.
她是从哪儿来的 Where the hell did she come from?
这是阿法纳斯男爵的亲信 This is Baron Afanas's familiar.
一号证人 说话 Witness number one, speak.
没关系 她不会说话 It's okay. She doesn't speak.
在我主人去世的前夜 On the eve of the death of my master...
她现在说话了 Oh, she's speaking now.
这三个吸血鬼 ...these three vampires
-把阿法纳斯男爵 -她在讲话 - took Baron Afanas... - She's speaking.
他们让他吃人类食物 ...and they let him partake of human food.
我们不能吃人类食物 恶心 We cannot eat human food. It's gross.
你们什么毛病 The fuck is wrong with you guys?
早些时候 Earlier,
我无意中听到他们打算谋杀他 I overheard them plotting to murder him.
她满嘴胡言 She speaks the bullshit.
我们只是提出了这个点子 We simply floated the idea.
你们提出了谋杀他的点子 You floated the idea of murdering him?
-是的 -不是提出 是谋划 - Yes. - Not floated, you plotted.
-提出和谋划差不多 -等等 - Floating and plotting are very similar. - Wait,
-男爵死了 -天 卫斯理 - The Baron is dead? - Oh, my God, Wesley,
-我们早说过了 -卫斯理 跟上进度 早过了 - we're past that now. - Wesley, catch up, we're past that.
-带走证人 -嗯 -谢谢 - Remove the witness. - Yeah. - Thanks a lot.
-拜 贱人 -人类食物 比如 - Bye, bitch. - Human food? Like-like-like
-汉堡之类的吗 -卫斯理 - hamburger or some-something like that? - Wesley.
吃人类食物的事已经谈过了 闭嘴 We're over the human food thing. Shut up.
我们没在说那个了 卫斯理 We're not talking about that, Wesley.
你需要更好的无线网 You need better Wi-Fi.
把电脑放到路由器旁边 Move the computer next to your router, homes.
这不是我的无线网 Hey, hey, hey. It's not my Wi-Fi.
我有最好的无线网 好吗 I got the best Wi-Fi. Okay?
我听说有个亲信被转化成了吸血鬼 I heard about one familiar who was made into a vampire,
现在他有座大城堡 事业有成 and now he has a big castle and he is really successful...
我的主人说过几天我也会成为吸血鬼 My master says I'm gonna be a vampire in a few days.
仅仅过了70年 It's only been seven decades.
所以你们中有人 So, have any of you
见过转化成吸血鬼的亲信吗 met a familiar who's become a vampire?
没亲眼见过 Not personally,
从没见过 never met one.
我马上就要成吸血鬼了 到时你就认识了 Well, I'll be a vampire soon, and then you'll know a vampire.
你还可以做我的亲信 And then you can become my familiar.
话说有人真的喜欢男爵吗 Did anyone really like The Baron, anyway?
不 我不喜欢他 Well, I-- no, I didn't like him.
-他很变态 -我不 - He was creepy. - I mean, I didn't...
-他是疯子 -我觉得他很无礼 背后插刀 - He was loco. - I thought he was pretty rude and a backstabber.
-他是有点混蛋 -疯子 - He was a bit of an asshole. - Loco.
他是个神经病 He was a psychotic madman.
我们不都有点神经吗 Aren't we all, though? A little bit?
他是个怪人 疯子 He was a whackjob, he was crazy,
但是规矩就是规矩 but rules are rules.
-现在怎么办 -传唤另一个证人 - Now what? - Bring in the other witness.
-现在传唤另一个证人 -谁啊 - Now let us call the next witness. - What other witness?
-另一个证人 -管他是几号证人 - Another witness. - Witness number whatever-it-is.
-我的天 -吉尔莫 - Oh, my life. - Guillermo.
这个可口的家伙是谁 Who's this delicious-looking thing?
这是什么 是午餐吗 What is this? Is this, is this lunch?
-是的 是午餐 -不 不是午餐 - Yes, it's lunch. - No, it's not lunch.
是午餐 It's lunch.
这是他们的亲信之一 议会 This is one of their familiars, council.
他是证人 He bears witness.
这几个吸血鬼杀了男爵吗 Did these vampires three murder The Baron?
没有 No, they did not.
他们提出了杀他的点子吗 Did they "Float" It?
他们讨论过 就是说说而已 They discussed it, but they-they were just talking.
并没有真的打算下手 They weren't going to really do it.
那是谁杀了男爵 So who murdered The Baron?
是 是我 我杀了他 They-- it was I. I-I killed him.
-你杀的 -是的 - You did it? - Yes.
是我杀的 It was I, I did it.
嗯 不太可能 Okay. Unlikely.
无意冒犯 但你不像一个 Don't take offense, but you don't seem like someone
有能力杀死吸血鬼的人 who would be capable of killing a vampire.
-但就是我杀的 -难以置信 - But I did it. - Uh, hard to believe.
-真的 -如果是个长相凶狠的人 - Well, I did. - From maybe a tougher-looking guy,
-我也许会信 但 -我觉得你在说谎 - I'd believe it, but... - I think you're lying
-为了保护你的主人 -当然了 - to protect your master. - Of course he is.
这个小个子不可能杀死吸血鬼 This little guy couldn't kill a vampire.
就是我 我打开门 当时是黎明 No, it was, it was me. I opened the door and it was dawn
然后阳光照进来 and then the sun came in and...
就那么发生了 and then it happened.
听上去像是杜撰的 That sounds very made-up.
我也说不好 各位 I mean, I don't know, guys.
我们都不喜欢男爵 None of us really liked The Baron,
要不就杀了这个小可爱 so maybe we just kill this cute little guy
放过另外三个 and then let the other three go.
把他的灵魂送到地狱 Send his soul to hell.
有人想吃 Does anyone else feel like having a
-放肆的点心吗 -阴险点心 - cheeky little snack? - Sneaky snack?
你怎么看 卫斯理 What do you think, Wesley?
这丫是谁 戴眼镜的 Who is this motherfucker now? This glasses motherfucker?
是午餐 卫斯理 It's lunch, Wesley.
-午餐 -对 -不 - Lunch. - Oh, yeah. - No!
我不能坐视不管 I cannot abide by this.
有话直说 你想说什么 Get to the point. Have you got a point to make?
听我说 Listen to me.
-我们都在听 -大家都在听 - We're all listening. - You've got-- everyone's listening.
-大家 -大家都停下了手中的活 - Everyone's like... - Everyone has stopped what they were doing,
我们正准备大快朵颐这家伙 we were all about to chomp down on this guy,
然后你说 "我有话要讲" and then you said, "Oh, I'm gonna say something."
-说 -是我们 - Speak. - It was we...
-不 -杀了男爵 - No. - ...who killed The Baron.
我们早猜到了 We thought that! That's what we thought.
-我们 -我们之前都在讨论 - We-we... - We were all discussing that.
你们预谋杀害吸血鬼 You have committed premeditated vampicide.
作出裁决吧 蒂尔达 Pass the judgment, Tilda.
我宣布这三人有罪 I pronounce these three guilty.
同意的人伸出尖牙 Raise your fangs, all who agree.
惩罚是 受害者是怎么死的 The punishment is, they will be killed in the same manner
他们也将怎么死 that their victim was.
暴露在阳光之下 Exposed to sunlight.
我的娘亲啊 Ow, Chihuahuas.
好惨 Man, that's fucking rough.
你要帮我们吗 柯林·鲁宾逊 You gonna help us, Colin Robinson?
我能做什么 Fuck can I do?
请跟我前往你们的厄运 Follow me to your doom.
别担心 Don't worry.
我策划了一个秘密逃跑计划 I've coordinated a secret escape plan.
蝙蝠 Bat!
拉兹洛 你个混蛋 Laszlo, you fucking asshole...!
路德维格 抓住他 Ludwig, get him.
丹 抓住她 Dan, get her.
别碰我 手先生 Watch the hands, Mr. Hands!
该死 Fucking hell!
把剑给我 You'll release my blade.
这是焊接在墙上了吗还是 Is it welded on there, or...?
装饰品而已 Well, it's for decoration, really.
-谢谢 路德维格 很好 -我操 - Thank you, Ludwig, very good. - Fuck me.
那是什么 What is that? Uh-- hey!
他是吸血鬼 连墙上的斧子都拿不下来 He's a vampire, he couldn't get an ax off a wall.
你该去看看 Well, you should see it.
焊接在墙上了 It's, like, welded on there or something.
我们得找到出路 We have to find our way out of here.
我们需要这个 好 This is the thing where we wa-- okay,
我打坏了这个 右转 然后我们左转去了 I broke this, turned right, and then we turned left to the...
退后 Stay back!
这是意外 It was an accident.
是意外 是意外 It was an accident. It was an accident.
是意外 It was an accident!
他们会被送到一口井里 So, they're being sent into a well, and, uh,
太阳慢慢升起 the sun's going to slowly come up,
然后他们将被活活烧死 and then they'll burn to death.
很可怕的死法 It's a very horrible way to die.
-很戏剧化 -是的 - Very dramatic way to die. - Yes.
好恐怖 That's so macabre.
他们送我们过来前 They could have at least cleared them up
好歹把尸骸清理走吧 before putting us in here.
真希望我能有更好的领导能力 I wish I had made more of my leadership skills.
可以统治很多国家 I could have ruled many more countries
而不是和两个变态一起死在一口井里 instead of dying in a well with two perverts.
我是开膛手杰克 I was Jack the Ripper.
我从没告诉过任何人 I've never told anyone that before.
我希望我能嘿咻更多次 And I wish I'd made love more.
你嘿咻得够多了 非常多 Well, you did that a lot. A lot.
-也许吧 -非常多 - I suppose I did. - Yeah, a-a lot.
我想念我的马 约翰 I miss my horse John.
我真希望我之前能对它好点 还有你们 I wish I was better to him. And to you both.
你能这么说真是太好了 南多 That's very kind of you, Nandor, to say that, and, um,
我知道我们这些年相处并不融洽 但是 I know we haven't got on over the years, but, uh...
不 没有要说的了 Nope, that's it.
我不想说出来 但我觉得这应该会很疼 I hate to say it, but I think it's gonna hurt.
-不 -去他妈的柯林·鲁宾逊 - Oh, no! - Fucking Colin Robinson.
-靠 -不要 - Oh, shit. - No! No!
-救我 格雷戈尔 我爱你 -不 - Save me! Oh, Gregor, I love you! - No! No!
格雷戈尔 Gregor!
-我的爱 -我在燃烧 - Oh, my love, my love... - I'm burning!
-那是日食 -那是什么 - I-It is an eclipse. - What is that?
伙计们 是我 Hey, dudes, it's me,
柯林·鲁宾逊 你们的室友 Colin Robinson, your roommate.
-柯林·鲁宾逊 -是啊 吉尔莫也在这 - Colin Robinson? - Yeah, Guillermo's here, too.
他跑来跑去 尿裤子 He was running around, peeing himself.
我没有尿裤子 主人 I didn't pee myself, Master.
-他吓坏了 -不 我没有 - He was freaked out. - No, I wasn't.
不管怎样 我经过了一家五金店 So, anyway, I, uh, I was walking by this hardware store
然后我对自己说 柯林 你应该进去 and I says to myself, "Colin, you should go in
然后看看有没有大得能遮住井的伞 and, uh, see if they have any umbrellas for the well."
我确保放好了收据 有可能要把它退回去 Made sure to keep the receipt, I'm gonna probably take it back.
非食品商品可以这么干 You can do that on non-food items.
-他在消耗我们的元气吗 -他在占我们便宜 - Is he zapping our energy? - He's taking advantage of us.
-别这么做 -闭嘴 - Don't do that. - Shut up.
你们不希望我留下来 我可以 我走了 Do you not want me to stay? I can-- I'll go.
-不不不 -不要 - No, no, no, no, no! - No!
跟你们开玩笑呢 Just giving you guys guff.
我会救你们的 Yeah, I'm gonna save you.
你们还醒着吧 You guys awake?
你们好 Hello?
不 吸血鬼专乘过山车 Oh, no, a roller coaster for vampires.
-不 又是过山车 -住手 柯林·鲁宾逊 - Oh, no, oh, no! Roller coaster again. - Stop it, Colin Robinson.
对了 抱歉把电影摄制团队扔到井底去了 And sorry about the camera crew at the bottom of the well.
你们迟早会想把他们弄出来的 You're gonna want to get them out sooner than later.
他们面临这巨大危险 They're in, they're in grave danger.
-你这一天也过得够呛吧 -是的 - You had a heck of a day, too, huh? - Yeah.
-你跟我们待了多久了 -十年 - How long have you been with us? - Ten years.
协议就是这样的 对吧 I guess that's the whole deal, right?
就是 你为他工作 That, you know, you work for him,
到最后 他会将你转变为吸血鬼 and he eventually turns you into a, uh, a vampire?
是的 Yeah.
协议是这样的 That's the deal.