夜幕降临了 It's nightfall.
吸血鬼的亲信可不好做 The job of a vampire's familiar is not an easy one.
很危险的 It's very dangerous.
吉尔莫 吸血鬼亲信
毕竟 他们可是吸血鬼 I mean, they are vampires, after all.
我们现在可以进去了 We can go in now.
晚上好 主人 Good evening, Master.
吉尔莫 Guillermo?
在的 主人 Yes, sir?
-是你吗 -是我 主人 - Is that you? - Yes, Master.
-好的 -好的 主人 - Okay. - Okay, Master.
是时候...起床了 It's time to... rise.
好的 The... Okay.
吉尔莫 卡住了 Guillermo, it is stuck.
我觉得是插销出问题了 I think it is the latch.
做吸血鬼的亲信如同做他们的至交密友 Being a vampire's familiar is like being a best friend.
同时也是奴隶 Who-Who's also a slave.
-吉尔莫 太大声了 -什么 - Guillermo, it's too loud. - What?
明晚就是我为我的主人工作十周年的 Tomorrow night marks the ten-year anniversary since
纪念日了 I started working for my Master.
我觉得他有特别的打算 I think he's planning something pretty special.
我觉得他要把我转化成吸血鬼了 I think he's gonna make me a vampire.
这真是太尴尬了 This is very embarrassing.
好了 主人 Okay, Master.
他醒了 He awakens.
南多
非常有范 主人 Very cool, Master.
很吓人 Very scary.
谢谢 Thank you.
吸血鬼生活 第一季 第一集
大家伙儿们 Everyone?
娜嘉 拉兹洛 Nadja, Laszlo.
-什么事 -怎么了 - Yeah? - Yes?
能麻烦你们下来一下吗 Can you come downstairs for a second, please?
谢谢配合 拉兹洛 Thank you, Laszlo.
不着急 娜嘉 In your own time, Nadja.
好的 很好 棒极了 Yes, good, excellent.
那么 听好了 So, listen.
我们收到了一封信 We have received a letter
我想读给你们听 and I would like very much to read it to you.
但不是在这儿 我们到书房去 But not here, we want to go into the library.
为什么不在这读 Why not here?
我想去里面读 走个形式 I'd like to read it in there. It's just a formality.
在这里读和在里面读 It'll sound exactly the same if you read it here
听上去是完全一样的 than if you read it in there.
我不会反驳你 但那不是重点 I'm not going to disagree with you, but that's not the point.
我曾是奥斯曼帝国一名凶残的士兵 I was a very ferocious soldier in the Ottoman Empire.
杀过很多人 掠夺过很多东西 Which meant a lot of killing, lot of pillaging.
人们会哀求 "求求你了 不要抢我" People would say, "Please, don't pillage me."
然后我会说 "不 And I would say, "No.
我人人都抢 包括你在内" I'm pillaging everyone, you included."
我冷酷无情 I was relentless.
他们称我为 无情者南多 They would call me Nandor the Relentless.
因为我从不留情 Because I just never relent.
所以我很希望大家都能到里面去 拜托了 So I'd like very much for us to go into there, please.
形式而已 Just a formality.
来吧 拜托了 走个形式 Come on, please, it's just a formality.
本来你都可以读完了 You could have read it by now.
只是个形式 又不是很远 Just a formality, okay? Look, it's not even that far.
-去他妈的 行吧 -感谢配合 拉兹洛 - Oh, fuck this, fine. - Thank you, Laszlo.
这只是个形式 求你了 娜嘉 It's just a formality, please, Nadja.
只是个形式 感谢配合 Just a formality, thank you.
吉尔莫 去门口 Guillermo, the door.
不算太糟 对吧 That wasn't so bad, was it?
在我们读这封信之前 Now before we go into the reading of the letter,
我想说说房间的卫生问题 I wanted to talk about general hygiene in the cell.
昨天晚上 Last night,
下面来了一些人 there were all these people down there,
不仅吵吵闹闹 还半醉着 shouting and screaming, half-drunk.
他们哪里来的酒 Where did they find the alcohol?
没有 他们是半醉 他们之前就半醉了 No, they were half-drunk. They'd been half drunk.
-这样啊 -在转向新的猎物之前 - Oh. - Please, finish a whole victim
请把你手头上的猎物用完 好不好 before moving on to a next one, okay?
这样非常不卫生 It's very unhygienic.
我知道是谁把他们留在了下面 I think I know who's leaving them down there,
-但是我不想说出来 -你要是有话说 - but I don't want to say. - If you've got something to say,
-就他娘的说出来 -这样很不卫生 - then damn well say it. - It's not hygienic.
放肆 How dare you.
和我住一起的吸血鬼 The problems with living with other vampires
娜嘉
就是和吸血鬼住会出现的麻烦 are the vampires I have chosen to stay with.
娜嘉就像 Nandor is like
是一只踱来踱去的火鸡 a big turkey just walking around
想要掌控整个农场 trying to control everything on the farm.
拉兹洛是只硕大狂野的熊 And Laszlo is my big, crazy, wild bear
我们喜欢在房子里撵来撵去 and we love to chase each other around the house.
我要宰了你 I ought to fucking kill you!
我们在一起玩得很开心 We have a great time together.
我是最我们村里 I was the most handsome man
最英俊的男人 in our village.
麻风病和黑死病 His village was very badly affected
在他的村子肆虐 by leprosy and the plague.
这是真的 That's true.
我自己确实得过麻风病 And I, myself, did contract leprosy,
拉兹洛
但是我很幸运 因为从外表上看不出来 but I was quite lucky 'cause it couldn't be seen.
只是我身体的一部分 It was only one part of my anatomy.
我能看出来 Well, I can see it.
总之 有天晚上 Anyway, one night,
我被窗户上 I was awoken by this...
一个恐怖的爪子吓醒了 horrible clawing at the window.
我当时在想“这他妈的会是谁” And I thought, "Who the hell is that?
因为我住在三楼 'Cause I live on the third floor."
我起身去看 拉开了窗帘 So I went to investigate it, I threw back the curtain...
然后看到了我见过的最美的女人 Well, I saw the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.
但是她紧贴在窗户上 But she was gripping the window
手抓在玻璃上 and she was clawing at the glass.
我被催眠了 I was hypnotized.
我把他催眠了 I used hypnosis on him.
我后来才知道 Which I found out later.
我当然邀请了她进屋 Anyway, obviously I invited her in.
我们正要嘿咻的时候 We were about to make love
她突然变成了一个丑陋的像蝙蝠样的东西 when she turned into this hideous, leathery bat thing.
她吸干了我的血 She drained me of my blood,
让我受到了永生不朽的诅咒 giving me the curse of eternal life
也让我成为了嗜血的 and thus making me a bloodthirsty
夜间生物 creature of the night.
我们要不用记号笔写下来吧 Why don't we just write on them with marker pen?
写上我们的名字和时间 Put our names and the date?
这个建议很好 Oh, that's a good suggestion.
-是啊 -好主意 娜嘉 - Yeah. - Good idea, Nadja.
记号笔 吉尔莫 Marker pens, Guillermo.
确保写的字能永久保存 Make sure they're permanent.
-用三福牌的笔 -真是天才 - Sharpie. - Genius.
-要写日期 -是的 想得真周到 娜嘉 - With date, as well. - Yes, great thinking, Nadja.
-是的 是的 -月份 日期 年 - And yes, this... yes. - The name of the month, day, year.
好的 Okay.
现在我们 And now we come...
开始读信 to the reading... of the letter.
可算开始了 At last.
吉尔莫 关门 Guillermo? Close the door.
-门已经关上了 -再关一次 - The door's closed, Master. - Close it more.
再来一次 More.
很好 Good.
现在我们终于 Now that we are gathered here...
作为一个整体 聚集于此 together as one, finally,
根据协议的规定 in accordance with the protocols...
你制定的协议 Which you made up.
是的 Yes.
我们收到了这封 We have received this letter.
来自阿法纳斯男爵的信 From Baron... Afanas.
真的吗 Really?
是的 Yes.
男爵 The Baron...
要来拜访我们了 is coming to visit us.
老天爷啊 Holy shit.
安静点 吉尔莫 Silence, Guillermo.
只允许吸血鬼发表评论 Vampire comments only.
男爵从来不离开故土 The Baron never leaves the old country.
他说了此次来拜访我们的目的吗 Has he told us what the purpose of his visit is?
没有 No.
男爵坚定地认为 The Baron is a firm believer
吸血鬼应该统治世界 that vampires should rule the world.
我认为男爵这次来访的主要目的 I think the main purpose for the Baron's visit
是来看看我们吸血鬼 is to find out whether we as vampires
是否在美国定居下来了 have populated America.
但如你们所看到的那样 But as you can see,
这地方太他妈大了 the place is fucking massive.
他具体什么时候来 When is he coming, exactly?
-明天 -操 - Tomorrow. - Shit.
你为什么不早点把信给我 Why didn't you give this to me earlier?
今早才到的 主人 It arrived this morning, Master.
阿法纳斯男爵 Baron Afanas is...
是一位非常迷人的吸血鬼皇室成员 a very charming member of the vampire royalty.
几百年前 A few hundred years ago,
我们有过一段非常亲密 非常漫长的性关系 we enjoyed a very intense, very long sexual affair.
非常狂野 It was pretty wild.
试过很多高难度体位 Lots of acrobatic stuff.
拉兹洛在场的话 This could make it awkward,
看到他 to see him with Laszlo...
也许会很尴尬 present.
别跟外人说 Just between you and I,
不久以前 男爵和我 a while back, the Baron and I
有过一次很刺激的嘿咻 enjoyed a very intense sex affair.
兽性十足 Very animalistic.
各种高难度体位 Acrobatic stuff, you might say.
所以 我个人 So I, personally,
非常期待与他再度建立联系 am very much looking forward to reconnecting.
我们应该有一辆由12只黑色短吻鳄拉的战车 We should get a chariot led by 12 black alligators.
-这主意不错 -那要很多短吻鳄 很多漆 - I like that. - That's a lot of alligators, a lot of paint.
厢式旅行车怎么样 What about a van?
厢式旅行车 A van?
那不一样 是吧 That's not the same, is it?
你能确保它是黑色的吗 Can you at least make sure it's black?
能 明天用黑色厢式旅行车 Yeah. Black van for tomorrow?
非常好 那给男爵准备什么血呢 Excellent. Uh, what about the Baron's bloodlust?
-处子 -对 就这么定了 - Virgins. - Oh, yes, let's do that.
吉尔莫 明天晚上弄两个处子 Guillermo, two virgins by tomorrow evening.
对 当男爵一到 Yes, when the Baron arrives
我们就能享用处子之血了 we shall feast on virgin blood.
只有吸血鬼能笑 Vampire only laughing.
-我们应该告诉柯林·鲁宾逊吗 -拉兹洛 - Should we tell Colin Robinson? - Laszlo,
这真是个馊主意 that is a terrible idea.
他会毁了整个晚上 He'll ruin the evening.
什么会毁了整个晚上 Uh, what would ruin the evening?
我跟你说了 门没关好 I told you... didn't close the door properly.
你们在开家庭会议吗 Are we having a house meeting?
-不 -没有 - No. - No.
所以你们都聚在这 So, your gathering here...
只是巧合 is just a coincidence?
是啊 Yes.
我叫柯林·鲁宾逊 My name is Colin Robinson.
我就是传说中的 And I am what's known as
柯林·鲁宾逊
通灵吸血鬼 a psychic vampire.
也叫精力吸血鬼 Or energy vampire.
这是我的办公室 This is my office.
也是我的狩猎场 Also known as the hunting ground.
嗨 小黛 Hi, Deb.
精力吸血鬼仅仅通过和人聊天 Energy vampires drain people's energy
就可以吸干他们的精气 merely by talking to them.
实际与预算 本年度截止到现在为止 不了 Actual v. Budget, year-to-date, no thanks.
你要忙活一整天了 You're gonna be at that all day.
我们要么用长时间的谈话 We either bore you
让你厌烦 with a long conversation...
现在感觉好点了 我这周末感觉有点不舒服 Feeling better now, I was a little sick this weekend.
嗨 堂 Hey, Don.
堂 Don?
我也要尿尿 I have to pee, too.
要么 Or...
我们激怒你 We enrage you.
事实上 你可能认识精力吸血鬼 In fact, you probably know an energy vampire.
我们是吸血鬼中最常见的一种 We're the most common kind... of vampire.
我们可以白天出行 不受太阳影响 We are day-walkers, not affected by the sun.
我们还是唯一一种 And we are the only kind of vampire
能吸干其他吸血鬼精气的吸血鬼 that can drain another vampire's energy.
非常酷 It's very cool.
他的能力到了晚上会变得更强 The power grows stronger in him by the night.
我要做很多不同的工作 There's different kinds of jobs that I have to do.
保持屋子的整洁 Keep the house tidy.
确保没有阳光照射进来 Make sure there's no sunlight.
阳光 为什么 吉尔莫 Sunlight! Why, Guillermo,
为什么 why?!
我绝不答应 Not on my watch.
处理尸体 Getting rid of carcasses,
是个重担子 I feel, is a big one.
我们现在在楼梯底下 这是我的卧室 So, we are under the stairs and this is my bedroom.
这是我装扮成《夜访吸血鬼》中 This is a picture of me as Armand
由安东尼奥·班德拉斯饰演的 from Interview with the Vampire
阿曼德一角时的照片 played by Antonio Banderas.
那是我第一次在主流电影中 That was the first time I've ever seen
见到拉美裔吸血鬼 an Hispanic vampire in mainstream, like, movies.
我说 "如果他能做得到 那我... And I said, "If he can do it, I-I...
我也能" I can do it."
吉尔莫 用板把这整扇窗封住 Guillermo... boarded this whole window up,
否则日光穿透的风险很大 it's a huge sunlight risk.
可别让男爵醒来被阳光直射 We wouldn't want the Baron waking up to sunlight
最后变成烤肉 and being turned into barbecue meat.
死死封住 Yeah, really cover it.
他最近发表了不少言论 比如 He's made a lot of comments recently, like,
"我将把你变成吸血鬼" "I'm going to make you a vampire."
这是个小型棺材玩具 This is a little coffin toy that, uh...
我希望有朝一日能睡在里面 I hope to be in one of these one day.
你们好 我的好朋友们 What ho, good friends.
你好 What ho!
还是有几个地方能找到处子的 There's still a few places to find virgins.
"实角演"是指实况角色扮演 LARPing stands for Live Action Role Playing.
勒纳夫 实况角色扮演者
在正常生活中 我只是乔纳森 In regular life, I'm just Jonathan.
卡德加 实况角色扮演者
但在这 我是个尊贵的骑士 But here, I am a very high-level paladin.
我不杀人 I'm not a killer.
我只是去找容易... I find people who are easy...
杀的人 to... kill.
这是十四世纪的战斧吗 Is that a 14th-century battle-ax?
真让人激动 Oh, it's so exciting.
我们可以触摸这些剑吗 Uh, will we be able to touch the swords?
你们会触摸到"剑"的 Oh, you'll touch the swords.
我们大约两百年前 We moved here from Europe
从欧洲搬到这里 因为当时人们 about 200 years ago because there was
对吸血鬼有很大的偏见 a lot of prejudice against vampires at that time.
他们不喜欢我们的肤色 They don't like the color of our skin.
也不喜欢我们杀人又吃人 Or the fact that we killed and ate people.
也许更讨厌那一点 Probably more that.
我们要小心谨慎 保持低调 We're being very careful not to stand out,
所以我们俩都穿着随意 which is why we're both dressed down.
-晚上好 -滚回你自己的国家去 - Uh, good evening. - Go back to your own country.
你他妈说什么 What the fuck did you just say?
你听得很清楚 "过去之婊" You heard me, Ghost of Christmas Past, bitch.
原译"过去之灵" 出自查尔斯·狄更斯的《圣诞颂歌》
闭嘴吧 麦克 Oh, Mike, shut up.
你才闭嘴 我们自1861年起就住在这里 Silence to you. We've been here since 1861.
至少说 我们的家族是这样 At least, our families have.
走开 Begone.
我们该直接吸他们的血 我快饿死了 We should just suck their blood, I'm absolutely starving.
-他们是完美的猎物 -不 我很愤怒 - They're perfect. - No, I'm furious.
他侮辱了我 我现在怒火中烧 He just insulted me, I'm in fifth gear.
-我们该杀了他们 -我就是这意思 - We should kill them. - Yes, that's what I'm saying.
-我们该吸他们的血 -没错 - We should suck their blood. - Yes.
-现在吗 -等等 亲爱的 - Now? - Wait. Wait, darling.
-现在吗 -现在 - Now? - Now!
什么 What?
麦克 Mike?
你他妈在哪儿呢 Where the fuck are you?
搞什么 What the fuck?
好吃 他还真美味 Yum, yum, yum. He was delicious.
听着 我不知道你现在怎么想 Now, listen, I don't know about you,
但我很想跟你发生关系 but I'm very much in the mood for some sexual intercourse.
亲爱的 要在公厕旁吗 Darling. Right next to the public toilet?
是 要不我回家一趟 Yes. But why don't I get home,
梳洗一下 然后我们再继续嘿咻 get cleaned up, then we can carry on with our love-making.
我要走回家 Um, I'm going to walk home.
你为什么要这样做 Why the hell would you do that?
你明明可以变成蝙蝠 Why would you walk home
为什么要走回家 when you could turn into a bat.
蝙蝠 Bat!
我想要一些 I would like some of that, uh,
会发光的彩色粉尘 colorful dust that sparkles.
-闪粉 -是的 - Glitter? - Yes.
给我一些闪粉 Get me some glitter.
用来做什么 主人 Whatever for, Master?
我想为永生始祖的光临 Oh, I want to do something special
做点特别的事 for the Immortal One's arrival.
我要把它撒在我的脸上和身上 I'm going to sprinkle it on my face and on my body.
像《暮光之城》一样 Like Twilight.
怡人地恐怖 So deliciously macabre.
-毛骨悚然纸 -是绉纸 - Creepy paper. - It's crepe paper.
-毛骨悚然纸 -是绉纸 主人 - Creepy paper. - It's crepe paper, Master.
毛骨悚然...合装包 Creepy... Oh, multipack.
主人 这个挺"吓人的" Master, this is pretty "Macabre."
吉尔莫是我的亲信 Guillermo is my familiar,
但有时他太亲近了 你懂吗 but sometimes he's a little too familiar, you know what I mean?
我的意思是 他永远都在 I mean, he's always just there.
我觉得好了 主人 I think it's good, Master.
他工作很努力 I mean, he works really hard,
他只是不擅长而已 he's just not great at it.
吉尔莫 我的斗篷卡住了 Guillermo, my cape is stuck.
当然 我不喜欢在他面前说这种话 I don't like saying this kind of thing in front of him, of course.
对不起 吉尔莫 Sorry, Guillermo.
我不喜欢在你面前说这种话 I don't like saying this kind of thing in front of you.
没关系 主人 That's okay, Master.
好多闪粉 Lot of glitter.
-刷卡还是付现 -信用卡 - Cash or card? - Credit.
你不能用那个付钱 You cannot pay with that.
我很抱歉 I'm so sorry.
-你刚才是向我扔了一个硬币吗 -对 - Did you just throw a coin at me? - Yes.
先生 你不能向我扔古钱币 Sir, you can't be throwing ancient coins at me.
-用信用卡 -吉尔莫 刺他 - Just... Credit card's fine. - Guillermo, stab this man.
-他在开玩笑 -刺他 - He's joking. - Stab him.
谢谢 Thank you.
-我试了 -给你 兄弟 - I tried, and... - Here you go, man.
-非常感谢 -你刚才没有服从我的命令 - Thank you so much. - You kind of disobeyed me just now
我记下了 and I'm noting it.
最近我一直在见另一个男人 Recently I have been seeing another man.
不过他没有看见我 因为我偷偷跟着他 He doesn't see me, though, because I sneak behind him.
我在夜里监视他 I watch him in the night,
偷偷地 in secret.
在故乡 几个世纪前 In the old country, centuries ago,
我和一个叫格雷戈尔的人类 I was in a very passionate love affair
曾经有过一段非常热烈的爱情 with a human man called Gregor.
他是个骑士 He was a knight.
他在战斗中被斩首 He got decapitated in battle.
我想我一直没有忘掉格雷戈尔 I don't think I ever really got over Gregor.
即使在我遇见拉兹洛后 Even when I met Laszlo.
琼 我的靴子丢了 June, I've lost my boot.
琼 June?
过来 琼 Come on, June.
我昨晚看到的那个男人 The man I saw last night,
我觉得是他 I think it is him.
《朱迪思砍下霍洛芬斯的头颅》--卡拉瓦乔
我觉得是我转世的前男友格雷戈尔 I think it is my reincarnated ex-boyfriend Gregor,
头还连着身子 with his head.
把这穿上 琼 Put it on, June.
-闭嘴 拉兹洛 -好的 这就对了 - Shut up, Laszlo! - Yes, there we are.
穿好靴子啦 Boot on.
好的 就在下面的某个地方 Okay, it's just down here somewhere.
为什么我以前从没来过房子的这部分 Why haven't I been to this part of the house before?
真是太可爱了 It's so lovely.
-80年来都没有人来过 -漂亮极了 - No one has for 80 years. - Gorgeous.
我们在这下面干什么 What are we doing down here?
这有个小房间 好吗 There is a chamber, okay?
将是血腥盛宴的完美之地 It's going to be perfect for the bloodfeast.
如果我们在这里举行仪式 If we have the ceremony in here,
然后你知道的那人甚至不会知道 then you-know-who won't even need to know.
我是说柯林 I mean Colin.
柯林 你在这儿干什么 Colin, what are you doing in here?
这是我的卧室 我在休息 This is my bedroom. I'm resting.
你个白痴 You idiot.
我不知道他会在里面 I didn't know he was gonna be in there.
你怎么不检查一下 Why didn't you check?
没关系 我们可以在阁楼里举行仪式 It's fine, we're gonna have the ceremony in the attic.
不行 登山机在那儿 We can't, the StairMaster's in there.
我们把登山机弄走就是 Well, we're going to move the StairMaster.
确定是这艘船吗 Is it definitely this boat?
他在那儿 There he is.
我就知道他会带个大箱子 I knew he'd have a big box.
琼 你得去接他 June, you need to go and fetch him.
先生 我只需要有个人签下字 Sir, I just need someone to sign for it.
-笔在哪里 -这个平板就是纸 - Where's the pen? - So, the tablet is the paper.
你的手指就是笔 Your finger is the pen.
好吧 真奇怪 Okay, that's weird.
好吧 什么反应都没 Okay, that's nothing.
你们俩 出于某种原因 没法显示出来 Both of you, for some reason, aren't registering here.
你俩有长指甲还是什么 You got long nails maybe or something?
你要试试吗 拉兹洛 Would you like a go, Laszlo?
-你有羽毛笔吗 -不 这全是数码的 - Do you have a quill? - No, it's all digital.
那我就不签了 Then I'm not signing that.
吉尔莫 把手给我 Guillermo, give me your hand.
好啦 Okay!
我想男爵可能是来 I think the baron might be here
见证我变成吸血鬼的 to see me become a vampire.
那真是太酷了 That would be really cool.
我准备好了 I'm ready.
我该去准备血腥宴会了 I should be preparing for the bloodfeast,
但我貌似没法从新格雷戈尔上移开视线 but I can't seem to stay away from new Gregor.
男人 人类男子 男人 Man. Human man. Man!
-不好意思 你说什么 -格雷戈尔 - S-Sorry, what did you say? - Gregor,
真的是你 it is you.
我的名字是杰夫 Oh, my name is Jeff.
-杰夫 -杰夫·萨科勒[哺乳动物] - Jeff? - J-Jeff Suckler.
我亲爱的格雷戈... 杰夫·萨 My sweet Greg... Jeff S...
认真的吗 杰夫·萨科勒 Really... J-Jeff Suckler?
-对啊 -呕 - Yeah. - Ew.
我称此曲为《娜嘉的主旋律》 I call that "Nadja's Theme."
吉尔莫 处子们快到了吗 Guillermo, are the virgins arriving soon?
他们应该马上就到了 主人 They should be any minute now, Master.
上天保佑 Fingers crossed.
抱歉 Sorry.
别这么做 Don't do that.
上晚餐了 Dinner is served.
好吃 好吃 好吃 Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum...
你们好 很高兴你们能来 Hello. So glad you could make it.
请赶快进来 Please come in, quickly.
大伙 这位是詹娜和乔纳森 Everyone, this is Jenna and Jonathan.
-你们好 -你们好 - Hi. - Hi.
你们是处子之身吗 Are you virgins?
这个无关紧要吧 I don't see how that's relevant.
其实我现在在网恋 I'm actually in a relationship online,
但我们还没在现实生活中见面 but we've yet to meet IRL.
干得漂亮 吉尔莫 Well done, Guillermo.
好了 我们开始吧 All right, okay, let's do it.
他们是吸血鬼真人角色扮演团体吗 Are they a vampire LARP group?
嗯 要不我们在这等着 Yeah, well, why don't we wait in here?
派对很快就要开始了 The party's gonna start in a few minutes,
我们先在外面聊聊 等...好了我再带你们进去 so we can just hang out, and I'll come get you when...
不 不 不 No. No, no, no! No, no, no, no.
不 不 不 我说了不 No, no, no. I said no!
我们对待真人角色扮演非常认真 We take our LARPing very seriously.
刚才只是个例子 我特意给你们看的 And that was just an example. I wanted you to see that.
很受启发 I'm inspired.
你是骑士吗 So, are you a knight?
是的 我... 不 抱歉 Yeah, I'm... Well, no, uh, sorry.
我以为你准备说"守夜人" I thought you were gonna say "Night watchman."
我是个守夜人 I'm a-I'm a night watchman
人类守护者 Protector of the people.
也不是的 Oh, no, not-not really.
我亲爱的格雷戈尔-杰夫 Oh, my sweet Gregor-Jeff,
我都忘了你有多么健谈了 I forgot how much of a fantastic raconteur you were.
是啊 Oh, yeah.
是啊 Oh, yeah, yeah.
你还记得我们第一次做爱 Ooh, do you remember that first time that we made love,
太激情四射我不小心砍掉了你的头 and it was so passionate that I accidentally cut off your head?
不记得了 什么 No. What?
然后我继续挤压 But then I kept going, squeezing
直到我得到满足 until my needs were met. Hmm.
我们应该再来一次 We should do that again.
但我不能 但我想 But I mustn't. But I want to.
但你不能 But you can't.
但我已经结婚很久了 But I have been married for such a long time.
-我要走了 -好吧 - I must go. - Okay.
在走之前给我你的电话 Let me just get your number before you go...
这样我们好有空再约 so we can... I can... we can do that again.
-你迟到了 -扔上去 - You're late. - Throw it.
行了 That's it.
好了 吉尔莫 Okay, Guillermo.
我们三个 不算吉尔莫 或琼 We three... not counting Guillermo... or June...
或你 or you...
秉承古老...齐聚一堂 are gathered here in accordance with the ancient...
快点 Get on with it.
-快点 -大伙们 - Get on with it. - Guys.
秉承在这历史性 In bearings with the ordinance
难忘时刻之前 of the nine generations that have surpassed us
我们9代先人的传统风俗 before this historic and memorable moment.
吉尔莫 打开阿法纳斯男爵的棺材 Guillermo, open the casket of Baron Afanas.
它自己打开了 Oh, it opens all by itself.
好酷 It's so cool.
老兄 那是我们的亲信 I say, old chap, that's our familiar.
天啊 Good God.
吉尔莫 你看到没 Guillermo, did you see?
他吃了亲信 He ate the familiar.
真可怕 That's scary.
永不沉睡 Ne la materia che mai non dorme
芸芸众生的君主 re de le forme.
我再次复苏 I have risen again.
你好 娜嘉 Hello, Nadja.
你好 Hello.
他真逗 He's so hilarious.
-拉兹洛 -嗯 - Laszlo. - Yes.
我记得他貌似有生殖器的啊 I seem to remember him having genitals.
从没有过 所以他以前才是个好情人 No, never. That is why he was such a good lover.
吉尔莫 把处子们带过来 Guillermo, fetch the virgins.
作为传统的拥护者 As an advocate of the old ways,
我为使用绉纸说声抱歉 can I just apologize for the crepe paper?
显然应该是人皮的 It should have been human skin, obviously.
我也为放了登山机而深表歉意 And I deeply apologize for the StairMaster.
都是他的错 It's all his fault.
我忙里忙外才买到了毛骨悚然纸 I go through all this effort, I get the creepy paper.
-我让吉尔莫去... -不是"毛骨悚然" - I get Guillermo to... - : It's not "Creepy."
是绉纸 绉 It's crepe paper, crepe.
肃静 Silence!
我是带着宣言而来的 I come with a proclamation.
传统 The old ways...
过时了 are over.
我刚就说了 Which is what I just said.
正如你所说的新世界 The New World, as you call it,
是我们通向 is our lifeline
永恒未来的生命线 to an eternal future.
是的 Si...
那是纪录片团队 是摄像机 It's a documentary crew. They're cameras.
他们其实根本不存在 It's like they're not even here.
-他们在拍我 -是的 - They are filming me? - Yes.
假装他们不存在 Just pretend like they're not there.
这就是我们生活里的一部分 It's kind of a natural piece.
你刚说什么 男爵 You were saying, Baron?
几个世纪过去了 Centuries have passed,
你们还没征服新世界 and you have not conquered the New World.
你们躲在影子里 You hide in the shadows.
你们软弱 You are weak.
天 Oh, God. Oh...
别现在过来 吉尔莫 Not now, Guillermo.
快走 快走 Go, go, go. Go, go, go.
-快走 -这个时候 - Go. - Oh, by now,
你们应该已经统治了这个 这个... you should rule this, this, uh...
-这里叫什么来着 -斯坦顿岛 - what is this place again? - Staten Island.
这个斯坦顿岛 This Staten Island.
这个斯坦顿岛是新世界的 Is this Staten Island the seat of power
权力中心吗 in the New World?
这是船停靠的地方 It is where the boat dropped us off.
告别传统 迎接新世界 Down with the old ways. Up with t-the New World.
这口号我都喊了几个世纪了 而他永远 I've been saying it for centuries, and he would never
-不听 -嘘 - listen... - Shh.
我要睡了 Mm. I must slumber.
但等我醒来 But when I awaken,
我们将要统治这个 we will rule this...
斯坦顿岛 Staten Island.
太棒了 Y-Yes.
娜嘉 Nadja?
男爵 Baron.
-拉兹洛 -男爵 - Laszlo. - Baron.
我是南多 It's Nandor.
感谢上帝 Thank God.
男爵很生我们的气 The Baron is furious with us.
我擦闪粉这个主意太蠢了 It's so dumb that I wore glitter.
快点把这些垃圾弄掉 Let's get rid of this shit.
如果我们不征服新世界 他会杀了我们的 If we don't conquer the New World, he's going to kill us.
再一次 Again.
-基本上我们完了 -完了 - Basically, we're fucked. - Fucked.
刚才完全就是个灾难 Well, that was a complete disaster.
至少我们还有处子 At least we have the virgins.
我来 Uh, yes.
经济型轿车 For an economy car.
-真棒 -我们太迟了 - Oh, great. - We're too late.
柯林·鲁宾逊已经将他们的精气吸光了 Colin Robinson has drained them of all their energy.
你们打算怎么清洗这辆车 "How are you gonna wash this car?"
他们现在已经没有营养价值了 They have no nutritional value now.
而且我知道你们两个说过不开车 And I know you two said you don't drive,
也没有驾照 and don't have driver's licenses,
但你们是要 but are you gonna do a...
来次不一样的洗车吗 a-a different type of car wash,
或许做个细节美容 maybe having detailing done?
细节美容 就是他们进入你的车 Now, detailing, they go into your car
然后清洗犄角旮旯 and they get into the nooks and crannies, so...
总之 你们保重 好吗 Anyway, you take care, okay?
你不开心 吉尔莫 You are glum, Guillermo.
-没有 -你有 - No. - Yes.
你以为我已经忘记了 You think that I've forgotten
今晚对你来说也是个特殊时刻了 是吗 that tonight is a special occasion for you as well, haven't you?
我应该在周年纪念日给你一个礼物 Does not an anniversary deserve a reward
奖励你多年来的服侍 recognizing your years of service?
我准备好了 主人 I'm ready, Master.
很好 Good.
做好准备 Prepare yourself.
周年纪念日快乐 吉尔莫 Happy anniversary, Guillermo.
这是幅闪粉肖像 It's a glitter portrait.
这是幅用闪粉做的肖像 It's a portrait made from glitter.
看 这是你 Look, it's you.
我把你做成了一个吸血鬼 I made you a vampire.
看看在你旁边的是谁 And look who's next to you.
是我 It's me.
好好欣赏 Enjoy it.
你可以把它放到你的抑郁屋 You can put it in your depressing room.
这是你应得的 为你这两年的服侍 And you deserve it. Two years of service.
十年 T-Ten.
服侍了十年了 Ten years of service.
-十年 -服侍了十年了 - Ten. - Ten years of service?
好吧 Okay.
晚安 吉尔莫 Night, Guillermo.