塔姆拉可是个活传奇 Tamra is a legend.
是是是, 她连着两张专辑都扑街了, Yeah, yeah, she’s had two hitless albums back-to-back,
但别人的彩虹屁有个屁用 but someone else’s take isn’t the ticket.
我们要的是她本尊 We need hers.
得找个能撬开她金口的人 We need someone who can get her to actually open up
让她掏心窝子说真话 and be honest.
能逼她爆出狠话或狂言, Somebody who can get her to say something brutal or cocky,
管它是什么猛料 whatever it actually is.
她还想从音乐里捞什么? What does she still want from music?
她至今还觉得 What does she still think was,
上张专辑缺了啥玩意儿? you know, missing from that last project?
关于塔姆拉·卡姆登这种传奇的报道唯一缺的 The only thing a story about a legend like Tamra Camden is missing
就是她本人的浓度不够高 is as much Tamra Camden as possible.
艾瑞尔你这波在大气层 Damn good point, Ariel.
这稿子我必追 I’d read that.
谢了 Thank you.
呃, 我是说要不... Uh, I mean, I would love to maybe...
让克里斯·瑞斯来执笔咋样? What about Chris Wreath to write it?
他肯定能文思泉涌对吧? I mean, he would be inspired, right?
附议!我这就给他发私信 Yeah, strong agree. I’ll send him a note.
搞定 Done.
行, 干得漂亮 Okay. Good job.
下一题 Moving on.
轮到M.O.B.了 On to the M.O.B.
这破事快把老娘逼疯了 It’s just driving me fucking nuts.
我在那儿耗了整整三年 I’ve been there for three years.
人生黄金三年, Three years of my life,
连篇正经报道都没憋出来 and I haven’t written a single real story.
- 你明明写过 - 放屁! - Yes, you have. - No, I haven’t.
你扯啥犊子呢? What are you talking about?
就那篇...呃...写啥来着? I loved that piece on that, uh... What was it?
盲人武术教练的 Blind martial arts instructor.
- 哦那个啊 - 他那个三指禅咋整的? - Oh, yeah, okay. - How’d he do that three-finger thing?
- 就... - 大概... - Oh. Like... - It was like...
-哇你今天好甜 - 爬开 -Wow, you look cute today. -Stop.
- 行吧 - 行吧 - Okay. - Okay.
我的规划是这样的： This is how I see it.
第一步, Step one,
逮着名人薅 write about famous people
毕竟他们自带流量体质 because they’re inherently fascinating.
这就是我现在在干的 That’s where I’m at right now.
- 第二步... - "名人收割机" - Step two... - "Famous people."
第二步, Okay. Step two,
靠写大佬把自己也写成大佬 people start to find me fascinating
毕竟近朱者赤嘛 ’cause I’m writing about fascinating people.
最后第三步, And then, three,
用攒下的声望爱写啥写啥 take that goodwill and use it to write whatever the fuck I want.
不过... What’s the...
这套组合拳的终极奥义是啥? what’s the end goal of all that, though?
图个啥呢? Like, what’s the point?
- 写本书就像... - 嗯 - Write a book. Like... - Mmm.
不止一本 Books, plural.
然后, 向大家证明... Then, show people that...
我不知道... I don’t know...
证明我是个操他妈的天才作家 that I’m a good fucking writer.
展示我的...我的思想 Show them what I... I think
和...和...和感受、爱恨 and... and... and feel, love, hate.
但照这进度, 我得熬到35岁 But at this rate, I’ll be, like, 35
才能实现, 那跟40岁也没差了 before that ever happens, which is basically 40.
抱歉, 没冒犯的意思 Sorry, no offense.
哇, 打住我...我才32岁 Whoa, hold up. I’m... I... I’m only 32.
- 搞什么? - 我就是...四舍五入了 - What the hell? - I’m like... I rounded up.
- 太扯了 - 我的错 - That’s wack. - That’s my fault.
- 我...我多说了几岁 - 好吧, 还有 - I... I rounded up. - Okay, also,
你这次是纯发泄牢骚 is this one of those vents where you just need to vent
还是难得想听建议的? or one of the rare vents where you actually want advice?
哇哦好吧 Wow. Okay.
前者没错 The former. Right.
能把那个递给我... Can you pass me the...
我洗耳恭听 I am open.
我愿意接受建议真的 I will take advice. I’m open.
- 当真? - 嗯, 当真 - For real? - Yeah, for real.
好 Okay.
出于关爱和同理心 Well, with love and compassion,
我觉得没人在乎你的感受 I don’t think anyone gives a fuck about what you feel
爱恨情仇 or love or hate.
听着, 你才27岁 Listen, you’re only 27 years old.
家境不穷不富 You didn’t grow up poor or rich.
工作体面, 身体健康 You have a good job, a perfect bill of health.
没瘾头, 没仇家 No addictions, no enemies.
操, 你从不让人真正靠近 Hell, you’ve never let anyone in close enough,
包括在场各位, 所以也没人伤过你心 present company included, to actually break your heart.
父母完美无缺, 所以你总拿我妈开涮 And your parents are perfect, which is why you always shit on my mom.
不, 我总拿你妈开涮是因为她就是个疯婆子 No, I always shit on your mom ’cause she’s fucking crazy.
你的问题是太平庸 Your problem is that you’re middle.
这没什么大多数人都这样 Which is okay. Most people are.
但阅历才能带来洞见 But it’s experience that gives people perspective,
洞见才能让观点有价值 and it’s perspective that gives opinions their value,
而你的观点... and yours is...
平庸得他妈离谱 it’s middle as fuck.
好吧 Okay.
话说这鳗鱼真不错 This eel is delicious, by the way.
是啊, 确实好不, 是真的真的很好 Yeah, it’s really good. No, it’s really, really good.
你还好吗? Are you okay?
因为我可以...我可以收回那些话 ’Cause I could... I could take that back.
鳗鱼确实很好吃 The eel is really good.
所以... So...
我是说, 现在正是时候 I mean, now is the time, then.
但为什么?为什么是现在? But why? Why is now the time?
我是说, 所有照片都在涌入 I mean, all the pictures are dropping in.
你们说他是不是在脸上动过无数刀啊? Like, do you think he had a ton of work done to his face?
八成是, 但整件事儿我压根不信 Probably, but I’m calling bullshit on the whole thing.
怎么了? What’s up?
现在到处在传莫雷蒂要复出 There’s a rumor flying around that Moretti’s back.
你是说那个传奇莫雷蒂? Like, "Moretti" Moretti?
卧槽 Oh, shit.
懂你, 今天对我可是大日子迪娜·西蒙妮当年是我第一个手机铃声 I know. It’s a big day for me. Dina Simone was my first ringtone.
在座各位谁没拿他当过头像 Dina Simone was everyone’s first ringtone.
嘴别这么欠行吗 Well, don’t be a dick.
哇哦斯坦 Ooh, Stan.
听说了吗? You hear?
莫雷蒂回来了 Moretti’s back.
-天呐 你也信了?-我... -Oh, my God. You, too? -I...
闹够没？ Are we done? Huh?
要我说 既然网友见风就是雨 I mean, if social media wants to freak out over every rumor,
随他们去 但你们可是正经记者 so be it, but you guys are supposed to be journalists.
再说了 这三十年谁见过莫雷蒂本尊？ Besides, no one has seen or heard from Moretti in 30 years.
真要发新专 If there was an album,
肯定还是他当年那套操作 I am sure they’d release it the same way he always did.
他那法律顾问索莱达·优素福 Uh, his publicist, Soledad Yusef,
会往媒体寄VHS录像带 would mail in a VHS of him
里面他神神叨叨念着职业生涯高光时刻 nonsensically just rattling off Moretti’s career highlights
然后宣布新专正在路上 and proclaiming that a new album was on the way.
尬得抠脚 It was nauseating.
-看这个 -啥玩意? - Look at this. - What’s this?
哈喽, 我的宝贝们 Hello, my loves.
大家好 Hello.
卧槽, 真的是他本人 Holy shit, that’s actually him.
距离我们上次共舞已经过去很久了 It’s been a long time since we’ve done this dance.
但我觉得这支舞永不过时, 对吧? But I think this dance we do is a timeless one. Don’t you?
这27年发生了太多变化 A lot has changed in the last 27 years.
哦买噶 Oh, my God.
你们敢信都27年了吗? Can you believe it’s been 27 years?
看看我 Look at me.
我现在就像个银狐型男 I’m like a silver fox.
好了, 我有点嗨过头了 Okay. I’m having too much fun.
不聊我了 Enough about me.
他呢?他怎么样? What about him? What about him?
这位浮夸公子哥本尊 Mr. Glam-boyant himself.
天鹅绒情人, 唐·迪瓦 The Velvet Caller. Don Diva.
扭动巫师 The Wizard of Wiggle.
这位传奇缔造了史上最卖座的全球巡演 The icon responsible for the highest-grossing world tour in history.
唯一在世的拥有38首冠军单曲的艺术家 The only living artist to secure 38 number one singles.
没错, 是的 Yes. Yes.
怀着...哦! It is with... Ooh!
无比纯粹的喜悦, 我要向你们宣布, 我的宝贝们, Unmitigated joy that I announce to you, my babies,
他要献上一份大礼 he’s bringing you a gift.
当代最伟大的专辑 The greatest album of modern times.
属于未来, 属于所有时代, 真的 Future times, all times, really.
而且, 以新人王的一贯作风, And, in typical Debutante fashion,
本周他将为少数精选人士表演 he’ll be playing for a select group of people this weekend
然后再将这新福音赐予世人 before he gives this new blessing unto the world.
而且惊喜未完待续</> And there is more to come.
远远不止这些 So much more.
♪ 如此甜美的小可爱 ♪ ♪ Such a sweet little thing ♪
♪ 迪娜 ♪ ♪ Dina ♪
♪ 你值得拥有百万美元的钻戒 ♪ ♪ And you deserve Million-dollar rings ♪
♪ 西蒙妮 ♪ ♪ Simone ♪
♪ 我爱你的紧身牛仔裤 ♪ ♪ I like Your tight little jeans ♪
♪ 迪娜 ♪ ♪ Dina ♪
♪ 更爱她圣洁般的装扮 ♪ ♪ And I love how She dress like a saint ♪
♪ 西蒙妮 ♪ ♪ Simone ♪
♪ 抱紧我 宝贝 再紧一些 ♪ ♪ Hold me, baby Hold me tight ♪
♪ 吻我 女孩 ♪ ♪ Kiss me, girl ♪
♪ 这是周六狂欢夜 ♪ ♪ It’s Saturday night ♪
...阿尔弗雷德·莫雷蒂 ...Alfred Moretti.
♪ 看着我深情注视 ♪ ♪ See me watching ♪
♪ 让我们狂欢整夜 ♪ ♪ Paint the town ♪
♪ 她与我们同在 ♪ ♪ She’s with us ♪
♪ 女王与王冠 ♪ ♪ Queens and Crown ♪
♪ 我只要你和钻石加身 ♪ ♪ All I want is you And diamonds on me ♪
♪ 哦 你永远别对我心软 ♪ ♪ Ooh, don’t you ever Show me mercy, ooh ♪
♪ 我独自在此 却订了三人位 ♪ ♪ I’m here alone With reservations for three ♪
♪ 我需要你 ♪ ♪ I need you ♪
♪ 你也是 完美至极 ♪ ♪ You too, perfect, yeah ♪
♪ 如此甜美的小可爱 ♪ ♪ Such a sweet little thing ♪
♪ 迪娜 ♪ ♪ Dina ♪
♪ 你值得拥有百万美元的钻戒 ♪ ♪ And you deserve Million-dollar rings ♪
♪ 西蒙妮 ♪ ♪ Simone ♪
♪ 我爱你的紧身牛仔裤 ♪ ♪ I like Your tight little jeans ♪
♪ 迪娜 ♪ ♪ Dina ♪
♪ 更爱她圣般的装扮 ♪ ♪ And I love how She dress like a saint ♪
♪ 西蒙妮 ♪ ♪ Simone ♪
♪ 你驾着豪车 ♪ ♪ You chauffeur ’round ♪
♪ 穿梭在凯迪拉克轿车中 ♪ ♪ All around the town In Cadillac Sedan de Villes ♪
♪ 性是你最爱的事 ♪ ♪ And sex Is your favorite thing ♪
♪ 可卡因和蓝色药丸 ♪ ♪ Cocaine and blue pills ♪
♪ 你 夜店 ♪ ♪ You, club ♪
♪ 你 芭蕾 ♪ ♪ You, ballet ♪
♪ 她 在卧室 ♪ ♪ She, in the bedroom ♪
♪ 而她就在代客泊车处 ♪ ♪ Her right here In the valet ♪
♪ 身体在霓虹中纠缠 ♪ ♪ Bodies intertwine In the dark lights ♪
♪ 我们的灵魂 ♪ ♪ Our souls ♪
哦, 该死 Oh, shit.
♪ 在夜空下交融 ♪ ♪ Exchange under The night sky ♪
♪ 像狂野公牛直到入睡 ♪ ♪ Raging bulls Till we fall asleep ♪
♪ 朝阳即将降临 ♪ ♪ The sun is coming for us ♪
♪ 妒忌 ♪ ♪ Jealousy ♪
♪ 如此甜美的小可爱 ♪ ♪ Such a sweet little thing ♪
♪ 迪娜 ♪i> ♪ Dina ♪
♪ 你配得上百万美元级别的鸽子蛋 ♪ ♪ And you deserve Million-dollar rings ♪
♪ 西蒙妮 ♪ ♪ Simone ♪
爷青回, 家人们! He’s back, my babies.
啊这...太典了 Ugh. Classic.
绝对神专, Truly a perfect album,
和《颤栗》《加州旅馆》《内布拉斯加》一个level up there with Thriller, Hotel California, Nebraska.
居然还有续作 There’s a second one.
这张是要给...那谁... This is for, uh...
艾瑞尔·艾克顿 Ariel Ecton.
-谁啊?-认真的吗? -Who? -Seriously?
话说你们怎么看莫雷蒂重出江湖这事儿？ So, what do you think of the news of Moretti
i>不打算继续躺平了? coming out of retirement?
救命!这跟做梦一样! Oh, my gosh, I mean, it feels like a dream, you know?
我小时候就是听他的歌长大的, 现在我崽 I used to listen to him all the time as a kid, and now my kids
居然能赶上新专发布 get their own Moretti album.
这位大哥怎么看? And you, sir?
莫雷蒂每天睡眠修仙12小时 Moretti sleeps 12 hours a day,
然后站桩12小时 and then stands 12 hours a day.
美其名曰"阴阳调和" Like, it’s a "balance of life" thing.
这哥最离谱的谣言没有之一 This is my favorite rumor about this guy.
居然有人说他收了皇后主唱的金牙 Somebody’s trying to suggest that he bought Freddie Mercury’s teeth.
- 保不齐... - 速报： - And he might... - Today’s top story,
90年代顶流阿尔弗雷德·莫雷蒂 Alfred Moretti, arguably the biggest pop star of the ’90s,
退圈30年后再度杀回... has resurfaced after a 30-year hiat...
感受这沙漠的气息 Smell that desert air.
哇塞, 这也太顶了吧! Oh, yeah, it’s amazing.
-对吧?哎呀...-您好您好 -Right? Oh. -Hello.
-幸会幸会...哦好的好的-哎呀 -Hello. Oh, okay. Okay. -Oh.
埃克顿女士, 沙利文先生 Ms. Ecton. Mr. Sullivan.
欢迎来到犹他州绿河镇 Welcome to Green River, Utah.
能接待二位度过这个周末 It’ll be an absolute honor
真是蓬荜生辉啊 to spend this weekend with you.
- 您客气-那必须的 - Thank you. - Yeah.
合十礼问候 Namaste.
其他贵宾都在候车区等着呢 Uh, the other guests are waiting just this way.
请随我移步传说中的"露易丝"专列 Please follow me as we board the infamous Louise.
我勒个去! Holy shit.
"慢车罗"本尊啊 Slow Lo.
话说当年莫雷蒂巡演时 So, uh, rumor had it that when Moretti toured,
他那身行头沉得要命, 听说... his outfits were so damn heavy that the...
可不是嘛!直接把巡演大巴压得直喘气 Yeah, they would weigh the bus down, and they would have to,
油都得加两遍, 跟老牛拉破车似的 uh, stop to fuel twice as much ’cause it was so slow and low.
- 所以江湖人称-懂行! - Hence the name. - Yeah.
-门儿清-那必须 - Yeah. - Yeah.
我这不是...做了点功课嘛 I just... I did a little research.
牛啊!这都能挖出来 No, that’s impressive. That’s really impressive.
-小意思-可以啊萌新 -Thanks. -Yeah. Nice job, rookie.
行吧 Okay.
哎呦快瞅瞅这是谁! Well, lookie here.
老伙计, 得有小三十年没见了吧? Hey. Long time, huh?
嘿 Hey.
各位, 这位是艾瑞尔 Oh, everybody, uh, meet Ariel.
杂志社派来跟班的新鲜血液 Some young blood from the magazine tagging along.
- 你好- 这位是克拉拉, - Hi. - This is Clara,
你应该听说过她的大名吧 who you know of, I’m sure.
当然还有比安卡·泰森, 狗仔界的扛把子 And, of course, Bianca Tyson, the top paparazza in the game.
斯坦 Stan.
- 克拉拉克拉拉- 斯坦 - Clara. Clara. - Stan.
斯坦 Stan.
我看你终于舍得 I see you, uh,
从"全美最招人恨的荧屏性感符号"宝座上下来参加聚会了 took a break from being the most hated sex symbol on TV to join us.
重点在"性感符号"... Key words, "sex symbol..."
谢谢...还有"荧屏" Thank you... And "TV."
纸媒现在混得咋样啊? How’s print media treating you?
哦 Oh.
- 幸会啊小可爱- 幸会幸会 - Nice to meet you, dear. - Oh, nice to meet you.
那位是谁啊？ I’m not sure who that is.
艾米丽·卡茨 That is Emily Katz.
-她是个网红-天, 救救我们吧 -She’s an influencer. -Oh, Lord help us.
等等, 她是在和比尔·洛托搭讪吗? Wait, sorry. Is she talking to Bill Lotto?
可不是嘛! Oh, I know, right?
他转型做播客后光环早该褪尽了 You’d think some of the sheen would wear off after he pivoted to podcasts.
说实话他能来我都觉得意外 I’m surprised he even came, to be honest.
啥意思?世纪大事件他怎么可能缺席? What do you mean? Why would he miss the event of the century?
他俩当年可是死对头 They hated each other.
女士们先生们, 我们的旅程即将启程 Ladies and gentlemen, we are about to depart
全程四小时零八分钟 on our four-hour-and-eight-minute journey.
请尽情享受这段奢华时光直至抵达 Please feel free to luxuriate until our arrival.
谢谢 Thank you.
天呐, 辛迪·克劳馥真是活传奇 Oh, my God. Cindy Crawford is such a legend.
她是他历任女友里我最爱的一个 She’s my favorite of his girlfriends.
哇, 这姿势够火辣 Oh, that is sexy.
他们在搞什么? What are they doing?
斯坦, 你读过这个吗? Stan, have you been reading this?
嗯? Hmm?
哦, 是从那个篮子里拿的吧? Oh, it’s from the basket, right?
没看过有什么劲爆内容? I haven’t. What’s the haps?
我是说, 内容非常...呃...具体他们... I mean, the haps are very, uh, specific. They...
嘿, 现在正好制定作战计划 Hey, so this is a good time to establish our game plan.
哦对 Oh. Yeah.
好, 确实 Okay. Yes, actually.
我之前...呃...写了些东西 I was, uh, writing some stuff down earlier.
- 太好了 - 嗯 - Great. - Yeah.
所以你知道, 显然 So, you know, obviously,
主笔评论文章的人是我, I’ll be the one who writes the review and the piece,
但真需要你帮忙做点笔录 but what I could really use your help with is some note-taking.
好的, 呃, 我...我可以... Okay. Yeah, um, I... I would...
- 我可以分享... - 不用, 就做笔录看到什么都记 - You know, I could share... - Nah, just the note-taking. Anything you see.
奇怪的书或者, 呃, Weird books or, uh,
不知道, 多人运动啥的 I don’t know, orgies, whatever.
就, 呃, 写下来, Just, uh, write it down,
周末结束前我会过目明白吗? and I’ll give it a look at the end of the weekend. Got it?
- 好的 - 嗯 - Yeah. - Yeah.
你知道的...我真心为你高兴 You know, I’m... I’m really happy for you.
这些是什么人? Who are these people?
莫雷蒂死忠粉 Moretti diehards.
自从公告发布就聚集在这了 They’ve been congregating since the announcement.
听说有人直接在车里过夜 I even heard a few have been sleeping in their cars.
都盼着能见他一面 All hoping to get a glimpse of him.
有些人真该培养点正经爱好 Some people really need a hobby.
我爱你! I love you!
谢了宝贝 Oh, thanks, honey.
这双靴子必须穿对吧? I mean, had to wear the boots, right?
-这边请 -搭配绝了 -Right this way. -They look perfect.
-谢谢 -天呐 -Thanks. -Oh, my goodness.
欢迎各位 Welcome.
在回房休整之前 Before you head to your respective rooms to freshen up,
为确保活动保密性, 请将手机暂存此处 to ensure the integrity of this event, deposit your cell phones here.
体验结束后周日晚间归还 We will return them Sunday after your experience is over.
没问题 No problem.
谢谢 Thank you.
嘿 Hey.
卡茨女士 Ms. Katz.
多谢 Thank you.
这是伴手礼 This is a gift.
-噢 -谢谢 -Oh. -Thank you.
欢迎 埃克顿女士 Welcome, Ms. Ecton.
真漂亮 It’s beautiful.
-艾瑞尔 -我要把它和艾美奖摆一起 -Ariel. -I’m gonna put this by my Emmy.
好的 Okay.
这些年来我的演唱会 Over the years, my concerts attracted
吸引过各界名流 a, uh, veritable who’s who
既有德高望重者 也有当红炸子鸡 of the revered and the beatified.
每场演出结束后 And after every show, it was customary
我都会邀请部分观众到后台休息室 for me to invite some of them backstage to my green room
合影寒暄 to take photos and exchange pleasantries.
某天晚上我竟有幸同时接待 And, one night, I had the unbelievable honor
查克·诺里斯和穆罕默德·阿里 to welcome both Chuck Norris and Muhammad Ali.
就像所有雄性领袖同处一室时 And as is always the case
总会发生的戏码 when two alpha males enter the same space,
较量开始了 a competition ensued.
查克·诺里斯突然起身 And soon enough, Chuck Norris stood up
吹嘘自己手速快到 and announced that his hands were so fast
能徒手劈蚊子 that he could chop a mosquito in half.
话音刚落 And just as he had finished that sentence...
嘿--呀! Hi-ya!
我低头一看 I looked down at the floor, and sure enough,
真有只蚊子被劈成两半 there’s a mosquito chopped in half.
阿里不甘示弱 Ali doesn’t skip a beat.
当即起身 He stands up,
走到房间中央, goes to the center of the room,
稍微往后仰了仰身子 kind of leans back a bit.
双拳连击 Double-jabs it.
我低头看向地板, I look down on the floor,
发现一只蚊子 and there is a mosquito
被切成了四小块 chopped into four tiny bits.
全场掌声雷动 The entire room applauds.
但查克·诺里斯斗志昂扬, 不肯认输 But Chuck Norris, very determined, does not give up.
他重新占据房间C位, He reclaims the center of the room.
锁定目标, 然后... Locates one, and then...
我低头一看, 果不其然, 地上躺着个吸血鬼 I look down, and sure enough, there lay a little bloodsucker
被分割成了六等份 cut into six tiny portions.
阿里却淡定如老狗, 站在原地 And Ali, cool as a cucumber, he stands,
扫视全场, 锁定蚊子 scouring the room, locates a mosquito.
啪 Whack.
我抬头望去, 那只蚊子还在空中飞 I look up, and that mosquito is still airborne.
我说："阿里, 冠军啊, I say, "Ali, champ,
"那蚊子还在扑棱呢" "that mosquito is still flying around."
阿里转身对我说： Ali turns back to me, and he says,
"是啊它还在飞, "Yeah, he’s still flying around,
"但断子绝孙了" "but he’ll never have children."
所以, And so,
请允许我率先祝贺各位 let me be the first to congratulate all of you
成为首批聆听 on being the first to hear
我第十八张录音室专辑《凯撒的请求》的幸运儿 my 18th studio album, Caesar’s Request.
我们用餐吧, 好吗? Let’s dine, shall we?
- 嗨终于见到你真是太好了 - 很荣幸 - Hi. It’s so nice to finally meet you. - Pleasure.
- 很高兴见到你 我也是 - It’s good to see you. - You, too.
- 阿尔弗雷德 - 年轻人 - Alfred. - Young man.
- 嗯 - 很荣幸 - Mmm. - Pleasure.
我想首先声明... I’d like to start off by saying...
- 过去的就让它过去吧 - 正是 - Water under the bridge. - Exactly.
- 你看起不错, 伙计 - 你看起来也不错不过没我好 -You look good, man. -You look good, too. Not as good as me.
- 哦 - 谢谢, 艾瑞尔 - Oh. - Thanks, Ariel.
嘿我听说你来自纽约 Hey. I heard you’re from New York City.
- 这是真的吗? - 呃, 是的, 是真的 - Is that true? - Uh, yes, it is true.
太酷了 That’s so cool.
- 谢谢 - 我喜欢你的发型 - Thanks. - I like your hair.
我也喜欢你的发型 I like your hair, too.
呃, 我叫艾瑞尔 Uh, my name’s Ariel.
很高兴认识你, 艾瑞尔 Nice to meet you, Ariel.
- 我是莫德 - 很高兴认识你, 莫德 - I’m Maude. - Nice to meet you, Maude.
愿意和我坐一起吗, 艾瑞尔? Would you like to sit with me, Ariel?
愿意 Yes.
是的, 我愿意 Yes, I would.
现在请允许我敬一杯 Now a toast, if I may.
因为, 我的老朋友, 这样的情况已经不多了 Because this, my old friend, does not happen anymore.
我们一直怀念这样的时刻, 就如同怀念你一样 This, we have missed, as we have missed you.
各位, 这是我的朋友艾瑞尔 Guys, this is my friend Ariel.
- 很荣幸能在这里与您相聚 - 你好 -We’re honored to be here with you. -Hi.
你好吗?我是乔尔 How are you? I’m Joel.
-幸会-敬阿尔弗雷德 -Nice to meet you. -To Alfred.
阿尔弗雷德 Alfred.
嘿第一轮 Hey. First Roll.
第一轮 First Roll.
咬一口传下去 Take a bite and pass it across.
该你了 There you go.
哇哦你像头黑豹似的 Whoa. You’re like a panther.
这周末能看你跳舞吗? Are we gonna get to see you dance this weekend?
别担心亲爱的, 我依然四肢不协调 Don’t fret, my dear. I’m still uncoordinated.
别这样克拉拉 Come on, Clara.
怎么?没人能跳出莫雷蒂的舞步 What? Nobody moves like Moretti.
哦谢谢 Oh. Thank you.
但确实挺好看的 But it’s a pretty one.
确实如此 Indeed it is.
嗯我就知道 Yeah. Thought so.
约格对吧? Jorg, right?
艾瑞尔·艾克顿 Ariel Ecton.
太震撼了 This is amazing.
呃... Um...
坦白说我是记者, Full disclosure, I’m a journalist here,
我们可能要写篇报道 and we might be writing a piece
专门讲这场盛会多牛逼, just about how amazing all this is,
就想...搞点背景花絮, and, um, I just wanted to get, like, a little bit of background color,
要是你愿意跟我聊聊的话 if you’re comfortable talking to me a little.
我以前在夏洛特哈登高中 I used to teach music
教音乐课 at Harden High School in Charlotte.
有学期我选了最喜欢的音乐人... One semester, I picked my favorite musician...
扭臀魔法师本尊, The Wizard of Wiggle himself,
作为学生的主修课题 to be the primary focus for the kids.
有天我正在上第二节课, One day, I’m teaching second period
突然接到电话 when I get a phone call
说莫雷蒂要见我 saying that Moretti wanted to meet me.
当时第一反应是恶作剧, 懂吧? And at first, I thought it was a prank, you know?
-嗯-当然 - Mmm. - Of course.
毕竟他消失快十年了 No one had seen Moretti in almost ten years.
-是啊-没错 - Yeah. - Yeah.
然后... And then...
他亲自接了电话... he got on the phone...
那个声音... and that voice is...
...绝对错不了 ...unmistakable.
当时我就知道不是整蛊, Like, this ain’t no prank.
这他妈是正主驾到 That’s the motherfucking Debutante himself.
等等, 所以... Wait, so...
莫雷蒂就这么突然联系你? Moretti just, like, called you out of the blue?
他让我别告诉任何人 He told me not to tell anyone.
有说找你什么事吗？或者... Did he say what he wanted or... or...
什么? What?
没必要没 No need. No.
我连学校都没说 I didn’t even tell my job.
直接翘班跑路 No call, no show.
我...我第二天一早就上了飞机 I... I was on a plane the next morning.
现在我在教小朋友乐理 And now, I teach music theory to the children.
比如那边的小莫迪 Like, uh, you know, little Maudey there.
这位约翰教体育课 And John here, uh, teaches phys ed,
就是田径和射箭那些 like, uh, you know, like, uh, track and archery.
"从小培养, 世界尽在掌握" "Teach them young, and the world will be yours."
这是书里的话对吧?那本... That’s from the book, right? The...
那本...蓝色封面的... the... the blue one that’s...
-《境界冥想录》 -对 -Meditations of Level. -Yeah.
那个是不是... Is that, um...
抱歉 我不太...不知道该怎么问这个 Sorry, I don’t... I don’t know how else to ask that.
你们是... Are you...
- 你们... -我们是境界派 - you guys... - We’re Levelists.
你们这个... What do you, uh...
该怎么理解 对你们来说... What is that, I guess, to you or...
或者说你们所有人? you all?
"这是唯一完整的修行之道 "The one and only holistic path
能防止创造力被扼杀 "to prevent the obstruction of creativity
并守护那些天赋异禀的创造者" "and ensure the protection of those divinely burdened to wield it."
"谄媚者"这个词是不是该有个"O"? Doesn’t "sycophant" have an "O"?
可能有吧 嗯... Probably, yeah. Um...
- 你好 -阿尔弗雷德·莫雷蒂 - Hi. - Alfred Moretti.
艾瑞尔·埃克顿 Ariel Ecton.
久仰大名 Indeed you are.
收到邀请时我惊呆了 I was shocked to get the invite,
但能参加这个周末的聚会 but I’m truly honored and thrilled
真的倍感荣幸又兴奋 to get to be here this weekend.
希望如此 I hope so.
别忘了那个"O" Don’t forget the "O."
- 好的 明白 -好好休息 - Right. Yeah. - Rest well.
您也是 You, too.
恭喜各位 再次欢迎来到 Congratulations, and welcome again
这场千载难逢的盛会 to this once-in-a-lifetime gathering.
为保障各位的舒适体验 For your comfort, we have assigned each of you
我们为每位配备了全天候管家 a 24-7 concierge.
若有任何特殊需求 If there are any accommodations that you may desire,
请随时吩咐他们 please do not hesitate to ask them.
事无巨细 有求必应 None too big, none too small.
您的专属管家随时待命 Your concierge is here for you.
卧槽 莫雷蒂博物馆 Holy shit, the Moretti Museum.
没想到真的存在 I can’t believe it’s real.
哦 孩子们在演木偶戏 Oh, the kids are doing a puppet show.
我最爱看木偶戏了 I love puppet shows.
这首歌名为 This song is titled
明日爱人 Tomorrow, my love.
请欣赏 Please enjoy.
♪ 上一次坠入爱河 ♪ ♪ The last time I fell in love ♪
♪ 我十六岁 ♪ ♪ I was 16 ♪
♪ 青涩少年 胸怀大志 ♪ ♪ A little ol’ boy With some big ol’ dreams ♪
♪ 她头也不回奔向好莱坞星途 ♪ ♪ Then she headed west For this Hollywood thing ♪
♪ 爱情没表面那么美好如初 ♪ ♪ Love didn’t work out Like it seemed ♪
♪ 我求她别走可没那个本事挽留 ♪ ♪ I begged her to stay But I had no means ♪
♪ 戴着牛仔帽呆立原地 ♪ ♪ Stood there In my cowboy hat ♪
♪ 身上是那条本命牛仔裤 ♪ ♪ And my favorite jeans ♪
♪ 如今每晚八点她准时霸屏 ♪ ♪ And every night at 8:00 She’s on TV ♪
♪ 但我的剧本 ♪ ♪ But for me ♪
♪ 却卡在NG镜头反复重录 ♪ ♪ Things didn’t work out Like they seemed ♪
♪ 你值得顶配人生 ♪ ♪ You deserve the best ♪
♪ 我会细水长流地想你 ♪ ♪ And I’ll miss you slow ♪
♪ 这世界突然开二倍速 ♪ ♪ ’Cause life’s Moving faster ♪
♪ 快得连尾灯都追不上 ♪ ♪ Faster than before ♪
♪ 年少时最不缺的就是时间 ♪ ♪ When we were young We had time ♪
♪ 连发呆都度秒如年 ♪ ♪ Felt seconds last forever ♪
♪ 可我没料到的是 ♪ ♪ But what I never knew ♪
♪ 我们的故事线竟这么短 ♪ ♪ Was how much time We’d have together ♪
♪ 故事线竟这么短 ♪ ♪ How much time We’d have together ♪
嗯? Hmm?
-嗷!-搞定快走 -Ow! -There we go. Go.
喂你干嘛? Hey, what are you doing?
继续演啊 Go ahead.
你们...放开我! What are... No, let go of me!
这就对了 That’s it.
早啊 Morning.
早上好 Good morning.
需要什么服务吗? Can I get you anything?
不用正要去晨跑 No. I was just gonna go for a jog.
我能去晨跑对吧? I can go for a jog, right?
早 Morning.
入住体验如何? How are you finding everything so far?
挺不错的 Good. Yeah.
晨跑还顺利吗? How was your morning jog?
挺好的 It was good.
就是...有点社死 I, um... I feel bad, though.
管家小哥全程陪跑三公里 My concierge had to jog with me the whole time.
你们这服务卷出天际了吧？ You guys really go above and beyond with the service here.
哦？这就觉得卷了？ Oh, that’s the only thing you find above and beyond?
指服务? The service?
对啊那个... Yeah. Um...
其实那首歌绝了 I mean, the song was amazing.
真心话既... Like, genuinely. It was...
华丽又上头, 还带点黑色幽默 gorgeous and haunting and kind of funny.
幽默?怎么说? Funny? How?
和我对你内心的滤镜不太一样 It’s just not really how I picture your heart, I guess.
你原本给我贴的什么标签? How did you picture my heart?
呃... Um...
就... I...
像特氟龙涂层, Like Teflon,
镶钻镀金, 用钞能力和掌声浇筑的 glitter-glazed and reinforced with a shit ton of cash and applause.
恕我直言 Pardon my French.
亲爱的, 别因为我而停止直言, 坐吧 Well, don’t stop Frenching on my account, dear. Sit.
呃... Um...
不过说真的, 我只是... Really, though, I just...
我觉得这真的很震撼 I found it really impressive.
谢谢 Thank you.
你能把那些往事唱得仿佛昨日重现, 而且... You’re able to sing about all that like it was yesterday, and...
让人莫名感到安心 it was really kind of comforting
你的功力丝毫未减 that you hadn’t lost a step.
谢谢是啊, 要是退步就太逊了 Thank you. Well, yes, that would be a bummer.
对啊, 那绝对社死现场 Yeah, that’d be a huge bummer.
你好, 艾瑞尔 Hi, Ariel.
嗯... Um...
不是要学安德森·库珀采访你 not to get all Anderson Cooper on you
- 一大清早的... - 嗯哼 - first thing in the morning... - Mmm-hmm.
...不过, 这个, 呃, 这个地方, 这个... ...but, um, this place, this, um...
宗教, 等级... religion, Level...
...你创立它多久了? ...how long ago was it since you founded it?
哦 Oh.
哦不, 不是我创立的 Oh, no. I didn’t create it.
你以为那些教义都是我写的? You think I wrote all that?
不, 我只是个单纯的唱作人 No, I’m just a simple songman.
它在我出现前就存在很久了 It existed long before me.
但你是其中一员? But you are a member?
是的, 我全心投入其中 Yes, I’m very committed to it.
你们具体做些什么? What is it that you guys do?
你问"做些什么"是什么意思? What do you mean, what do we do?
我是说, 所有宗教都有仪式 I mean, all religions do something.
天主教徒望弥撒 Catholics go to Mass.
他们饮基督之血 They drink the blood of Christ.
穆斯林, 呃, 朝麦加礼拜 Muslims, uh, pray towards Mecca.
你知道的, 他们...他们都有具体活动 You know, they... they do things.
所有宗教都有集体仪式 All religions have things that they do together.
那你们怎么称呼没有集体活动的组织? Um, then what do you call a group that does nothing together?
国会 Congress.
其实你知道吗? Actually, you know what?
有...有... There... there is...
一件事我们...都会做 one thing we... we all do.
想看看吗? Would you like to see?
好啊 Yeah.
气味抱歉 Sorry about the odor.
我倒是想说你会习惯, 但根本不可能 I wish that I could say you get used to it, but you don’t.
现在这位信徒正在进行 Now, this believer is engaged
我们称为"潜修"的仪式 in a process we call Diving.
这是我们所有人的必修课 That’s something we’re all called to do.
"所有人", 包括你自己? "We all," including yourself?
当然 Absolutely.
所以, 你们吃他们? So, you eat them?
制作项链我们只用天然珍珠, For necklaces, we source only natural pearls,
所以必须剖开 so that means we’re obligated to open
撬开一个又一个又一个生蚝 oyster after oyster after oyster
才能找到里面有珍珠的那个 before we find one with a pearl in it.
嗯, 开一百个生蚝, Well, in a hundred oysters,
能开出珍珠的概率有多大? how often do you find a pearl?
其实并不高, 但纠结于数字统计 Not all that often, but distilling it
反而偏离了重点 into a chore of numbers is beside the point.
那重点到底是什么? Well, what’s the point, then?
哦, 该死 Oh, damn.
我们或许该... We should probably...
别打扰他, 让他专心工作 leave him to it, let him concentrate.
呃... Um...
恕我直言可能没理解到位, 不过... forgive me if I’m missing something, but...
到底... what...
这整件事的意义究竟是什么? What’s the point of that, exactly?
《平衡冥想录》教导我们 Well, the Meditations of Level
单颗珍珠的价值 teaches us that the worth of a single pearl
远超所有空壳的总和 surpasses the value of all empty shells
真正的平衡之道 and that balance, true balance,
不在于万物平等的空想 exists not in the notion that all things are equal
而在于领悟 but in the realization
万物本就不... that all things are not...
平等 equal.
真正的平衡? True balance?
没错 Yes.
就像有人每天睡12小时 Like someone who would sleep 12 hours a day
醒着12小时, 这就是例子 and stay up for 12 hours, for example.
嗯 Hmm.
你真的买下并戴着弗雷迪·墨丘利的牙齿? Did you really buy and wear Freddie Mercury’s teeth?
好吧 Okay.
嗨 Hi.
哦, 你好 Oh, hello.
终于见到你太棒了, 爱丽儿 It’s so great to finally meet you, Ariel.
呃, 我也很高兴见到你... Uh, it’s nice to meet you, too...
瑞秋 Rachel.
- 好的- 好的, 呃... - Okay. - Okay, um...
瑞秋 Rachel.
- 瑞秋你好- 嗨 - Rachel, hi. Yeah. - Hi.
这...这都是些什么? What... what is all this?
给 Here.
哦漂亮, 选第三套方案, Oh, beautiful. Option three,
橄榄色打底, 就像我们上周讨论的那样好吗? with the olive foundation, like we talked about last week, okay?
- 好的- 谢谢 - Okay. - Thank you.
不, 我...其实我也有这个 No, I... I got one of these, actually.
呃...所以这到底是要干嘛? Um... just, like, what is this?
这是某种...水疗体验还是... Is this, like, the... the spa experience or...
对, 没错 Right. Okay.
我们要让你成为最完美的自己 We’re gonna make you look like the best version of you.
好吧, 呃... Okay. Um...
选几号? What number?
行, 两套礼服 Okay. Two dresses.
让我问你个问题 Let me ask you this.
呃... Uh...
几年前你是不是突然接到过莫雷蒂的电话, did you receive a call out of the blue, maybe,
所以才来到这里的? from Moretti a few years ago, and that’s what brought you to this place?
亲爱的, 时间紧迫 I’m sorry, my dear, the schedule.
让我们专业团队来操作, Let us do what we do,
我保证你会从里到外 and I promise you will look and feel
- 焕然一新- 好的 - like a million bucks. - Yeah. Okay.
嗯嗯 Mmm. Mmm.
你有帕姆·格里尔那种骨相 You have Pam Grier’s bone structure.
- 行- 哇, 真是绝美 - Okay. - Ooh, truly gorgeous.
别太飘了 Let’s not get carried away, now.
好吧 Okay.
太诡异了 It’s so weird.
你们效率真高 You guys do fast work.
就像某天照镜子突然发现 It’s like, one day you just look in the mirror
自己继承了父母的所有特征, 变成... and you’re both of your parents, you’re...
好了宝贝 Okay, hon.
那么, 秘密花园打理得如何? So, how’s the lady garden?
呃... Umm...
什么? What?
你的秘密花园 Your lady garden.
你的小妹妹 Your cha-cha.
你的阴部, 亲爱的 Your vagina, my dear.
上次修剪或脱毛是什么时候? When was the last time you shaved or waxed down there?
呃, 这个, 我...我...我猜到了 Uh, no, yeah, I... I... I figured.
嗯... Um...
不知道 I don’t know.
我...我...我不... Uh, I... I... I don’t...
关你什么事？ I don’t know why it’s any of your business.
有...有段时间了 It... it has been a... a minute.
很好很好 That’s good. That’s good.
莫雷蒂要求所有人保留体毛 Moretti requires that everyone be unshaven.
但实际意思是茂密整齐的灌木丛, But what he actually means is a full, tidy bush,
重点是"整齐" emphasis on "tidy."
我们都照做, 包括男性 We all do it, even the men.
难道他打算...要...要观赏... Does he have plans to... to... to see...
肯定不是 I’m sure he doesn’t.
我从奶油粉碎巡演前就跟着新人王了 I’ve worked on The Debutante since before the Cream Crush Tour.
他接待过无数大人物 He’s had many impressive guests.
传奇偶像、被命名节日的伟人 Icons, people who had holidays named after them.
橄榄球明星、普利策奖得主 Football players, Pulitzer Prize winners.
每个贵宾都百分百接受过这套流程 Everyone with 100% certainty has gone through this process.
好吧, 抱歉 Okay, uh, sorry.
所以, 因为 So, um, because
那些有权有势的名流 some famous, influential people
想...想...想和莫雷蒂共处, wanted to... to... to spend time with Moretti,
就任由你们, 或其他人, 呃... they let you, or whoever else, um...
帮他们修剪下面? shave them down there?
听着, 莫雷蒂常说, Hey, as Moretti always says,
「没人比那些该死的明星更会操粉了」 "No one is more of a star fucker
「那些明星自己才是最会操粉的」 "than the fucking stars."
我是说, 这男人讲过真正好笑的笑话吗? I mean, has the man ever told a joke that’s actually funny?
- 这个嘛... - 喂 - Well... - Hey.
-嘿 -哇亲爱的 -Hey. -Wow, honey.
你看起来美极了 You look gorgeous.
她是不是美得冒泡, 斯坦? Doesn’t she look gorgeous, Stan?
-我举双手赞成 -我是说你们看起来都棒呆了 -No objection here. -I mean, you guys look amazing.
我爱你的发型, 克拉拉 I love your hair, Clara.
这是假发啦 Well, it’s a wig.
她知道这是假发, 斯坦你个不开眼的蠢货 Yeah, she knows it’s a wig, Stan, you miserable ass.
他们给我戴的时候勒得有点紧 And they put it on a little bit too tight,
不过除此之外 but other than that,
我觉得这假发在我头上绝了 I think it looks fabulous on me.
确实 这造型绝绝子 It does. This is a look.
嗯... Um...
等等 你们的礼宾员 Sorry, did... did... did your guys’s concierges
整晚都陪着你们吗? stay with you all night?
-是的 -没错 - Yep. - Yep.
那他们有没有...呃... And did they, um...
给你们剃毛... they shave you down...
-嗯哼 -对啊 - Uh-huh. - Yeah.
好的 酷 Okay. Cool.
该死的莫雷蒂 Fucking Moretti.
就是 Yeah.
-哦嘿 -嘿 -Oh, hey. -Hey.
-嘿 -嘿 -Hey. -Hey.
哇哦 Ooh. Wow.
-谢谢 -哇 - Thank you. - Wow.
-比安卡快看这造型 -太棒了 - Bianca, look at this look. - This is great.
-别闹 -你真美 - Stop. - You look beautiful.
-从没见过你这样 -好了啦 - I’ve never seen you look like this. - All right.
我们去试听室吧? Shall we head to the listening room?
呃...不过少个人对吧? Um... we’re down one, though, right?
哦对 比尔呢? Oh, yeah. Where is Bill?
洛托先生选择了加长按摩疗程 Mr. Lotto opted for a longer massage session.
稍后会归队 He’ll rejoin the group later.
老样子 Typical.
-混球 -他可真会享受 - Asshole. - He’s so indulgent.
我只想说 I’ll only say this,
自从人类出现在这颗小石头上 humanity has been in debt
我们就一直负债累累 ever since we found ourselves on this tiny rock.
每隔一段时间就会出现米开朗基罗 Every so often, there is a Michelangelo
画出西斯廷教堂 who paints a Sistine Chapel
或是蒂娜·特纳翻唱《骄傲的玛丽》 or a Tina Turner who covers Proud Mary,
人类才能稍稍偿还这笔债务 and humanity chips away at that debt.
现在 我不敢说这张专辑 Now, I’m not saying this album,
《凯撒的请求》 Caesar’s Request,
能让我们扭亏为盈 will bring us into the black,
但你们可以赌上屁股这会让咱们离目标更近 but you can bet your ass it’ll bring us closer to it.
喔喔~ Whoo, whoo.
♪ 嘿宝贝 ♪ ♪ Hey, babe ♪
♪ 看过来 ♪ ♪ Look to me ♪
♪ 你入睡的模样 ♪ ♪ The way you fall asleep ♪
♪ 今夜但愿能入你梦乡 ♪ ♪ Tonight I pray I’m in your dreams ♪
♪ 嘿 小疯子 ♪ ♪ Hey, crazy ♪
♪ 来我身旁 ♪ ♪ Come to me ♪
♪ 我最爱扮演爱情的模样 ♪ ♪ I love to play The role of love ♪
♪ 就让我写入你的篇章 ♪ ♪ Girl, write me In your scenes ♪
♪ 摄影机 开拍 ♪ ♪ Cameras, action ♪
♪ 致命吸引力 ♪ ♪ Fatal attraction ♪
♪ 安可声 协和音 ♪ ♪ Encore, concords ♪
♪ 最新潮流范 ♪ ♪ Latest fashion ♪
♪ 宝贝你辣得自带光芒 ♪ ♪ Girl, you sexy And you know it ♪
♪ 自信闪耀不躲藏 ♪ ♪ And you ain’t afraid To show it ♪
♪ 为你痴狂 带上你的魅力 ♪ ♪ I adore you Bring your gifts ♪
♪ 扭动腰肢 吻上红唇 ♪ ♪ Bring your ass Bring your lips ♪
♪ 带我见金星 我赠你火星 ♪ ♪ Bring me Venus I’ll bring you Mars ♪
♪ 你带来夜晚 我点亮星光 ♪ ♪ Bring the night I’ll bring the stars ♪
♪ 我给你全部 ♪ ♪ I’ll bring it all ♪
♪ 整颗心都沦陷 ♪ ♪ All, all, all, all, all ♪
♪ 35毫米胶片 ♪ ♪ 35 millimeter ♪
♪ 定格 咔嚓 摆 开拍 ♪ ♪ Stop, shoot, pose, shoot ♪
♪ 心跳加速 时尚巅峰 ♪ ♪ Pulse, win, vogue, lose ♪
♪ 光影交错 放纵到极致 ♪ ♪ Light, love, rogue Live, bold, die ♪
♪ 35毫米胶片 ♪ ♪ 35 millimeter ♪
♪ 定格 咔嚓 摆姿 开拍 ♪ ♪ Stop, shoot, pose, shoot ♪
♪ 心跳加速 时尚巅峰 ♪ ♪ Pulse, win, vogue, lose ♪
♪ 猫步生风 为爱沉沦 ♪ ♪ Walk, love, walk Live, walk, die ♪
♪ 35毫米胶片 ♪ ♪ 35 millimeter ♪
♪ 嘿 亲爱的 ♪ ♪ Hey, love ♪
♪ 我在夜里苏醒 ♪ ♪ I come alive at night ♪
♪ 今晚让我们尽情绽放 ♪ ♪ Let’s be alive tonight ♪
♪ 甜美灵魂 ♪ ♪ Sweet soul ♪
♪ 纯净灵魂 ♪ ♪ Pure soul ♪
♪ 让我沉醉在你的魔法里 ♪ ♪ Bring a rise Until I’m hypnotized ♪
♪ 跨越所有界限 ♪ ♪ Borderlines get crossed ♪
♪ 让我成为你的焦点 ♪ ♪ Put me in focus ♪
♪ 宝贝我已无可救药 ♪ ♪ Girl, I’m hopeless ♪
♪ 别害羞躲镜头 ♪ ♪ Don’t be camera-shy ♪
♪ 让我们颠覆这世俗 ♪ ♪ Let’s both defy this life ♪
♪ 把爱情故事放映给全世界看 ♪ ♪ Put us on the screen For everyone to see ♪
♪ 哦 哦-哦-哦-哦 ♪ ♪ Oh, oh-oh-oh-oh ♪
♪ 宝贝你辣得自带光芒 ♪ ♪ Girl, you sexy And you know it ♪
♪ 自信闪耀不躲藏 ♪ ♪ And you ain’t afraid To show it ♪
♪ 为你痴狂 带上你的魅力 ♪ ♪ I adore you Bring your gifts ♪
♪ 扭动腰肢 吻上红唇 ♪ ♪ Bring your ass Bring your lips ♪
♪ 带我见金星 我赠你火星 ♪ ♪ Bring me Venus I’ll bring you Mars ♪
♪ 你带来夜晚 我点亮星光 ♪ ♪ Bring the night I’ll bring the stars ♪
♪ 我承包所有高光 ♪ ♪ I’ll bring it all ♪
♪ 35毫米胶片狂想 ♪ ♪ 35 millimeter ♪
♪ 定格 快门 摆拍 连发 ♪ ♪ Stop, shoot, pose, shoot ♪
♪ 心跳狙击 名利场 时尚修罗场 ♪ ♪ Pulse, win, vogue, lose ♪
♪ 追光 热恋 离经叛道 生如夏花 向死而生 ♪ ♪ Light, love, rogue Live, bold, die ♪
♪ 35毫米胶片轮回 ♪ ♪ 35 millimeter ♪
♪ 定格 快门 摆拍 连发 ♪ ♪ Stop, shoot, pose, shoot ♪
♪ 心跳狙击 名利场 时尚修罗场 ♪ ♪ Pulse, win, vogue, lose ♪
♪ 猫步 热吻 猫步 ♪ ♪ Walk, love, walk ♪
♪ 生如走秀 死亦华章 ♪ ♪ Live, walk, die ♪
♪ 挚爱 ♪ ♪ Love ♪
♪ 向死而生 ♪ ♪ Live, die ♪
音乐停!立刻马上! Can we cut the music, please?
宝贝你还好吗? Honey, are you all right?
快拿矿泉水过来! Can we get her some water?
八成是花生过敏 It’s probably a peanut allergy.
现在这帮小孩人均花生刺客, 真邪门! I swear, that entire generation just woke up one day with a peanut allergy.
也可能是高原反应 It might be the altitude, actually.
瑞秋, 给她挂个营养液? Rachel, can we get her an IV drip, maybe?
顺便call医务室的小天使们 And also, check with the kind folks in the infirmary.
- 做个全身扫描 - 深呼吸艾米丽 - Maybe give her a once-over. - Just breathe, Emily.
瑞秋老师可是业内大拿... You’re... you’re in great hands with... with Rachel.
别慌, 姐被骂上热搜都挺过来了 Don’t worry. I’ve had worse reviews.
各位先出去喘口气 Maybe let’s all go get some fresh air
让这曲子醒醒酒吧? and let the music decant a little bit, shall we?
- 当然 - 咋了? - Sure. - Yeah?
嗯 Yeah.
谢谢, 真是三生有幸 Thank you. I’m honored.
这感觉太让人上头了 It’s just so inspiring.
嘿, 还撑得住吗? Hey. You good?
没事, 我在试着松解肌肉 Yeah. I’m just trying to loosen it.
要说最离谱的是啥？ What’s crazier,
莫雷蒂这老哥短短两天换了六套行头... the fact that Moretti has changed his wardrobe
... six times in the last two days...
...还是说他至今仍是全球最顶的娱乐巨星? ...or that he’s still the best entertainer in the world?
-也不是说不是啦, 只不过... -嗯 -No, for sure, but... -Yeah.
这整件事就像嗑了药一样魔幻, 老兄 This whole thing’s a trip, man.
他啊, 这地方啊, 就... Him, this place, like...
这里的人个个都是天赋怪 The people here are weirdly talented
而且看起来都过得挺滋润的 and seem mostly happy.
确实 Yeah.
不过手上的那些疤 The scars on the hands, though.
我不太确定是不是我的菜 I don’t know if I love that.
- 啊？我倒没注意 - 是吧 - Huh. I hadn’t noticed. - Yeah.
对了, 你跟斯坦挺熟的吧? Um, you know Stan pretty well, yeah?
斯坦?那必须的 Stan? Yeah.
你说我要是写个番外篇, How apeshit do you think he’d go
比如关于境界派的, if I were to write a secondary piece,
他会原地爆炸到什么程度? like, on the Levelists?
说实话, 就是个渣男, Here’s the thing, Stan is an asshole,
但如果你有一个真实的故事要讲, but if you have a real story to tell,
就连他也无法否认 not even he can deny that.
他们身上有种共同的联结 There’s something that unites them.
我...我不知道该怎么说, 但他们... And I... I’m not quite sure how to put it, but they...
他们都很不同, 但又有某种... they’re all very different, but there’s something...
就像他们都是同一个本体的不同面相 It’s as if they’re all faces of the one.
嗯哼 Mmm-hm.
你知道的, 莱弗尔相信 Well, you know, Level believes
神性只是存在的短暂状态 God is a temporary state of being
人人都能触及神性, and that divinity is accessible for all,
但很快就会消逝 but soon fades away.
-没错 -比如说 -Right. -For... for instance,
当我在《Live Without Love...》里 when I created the bridge
创作那段桥段时 on Live Without Love...
...那一刻, 我就是神 ...uh, in that moment, I was a god.
-大写的God -确实是 - Capital "G" God. - You were.
但这种神圣感就像...就像几千年前 But only in the same way the... the person who, uh,
发明马蹄铁的那个人也曾是神 created the horseshoe thousands of years ago was a god.
-这说法真有意思, 阿尔弗雷德 -嗯 - That is really fascinating, Alfred. - Mmm.
但你不觉得... Do you think that...
这种观点会让人产生疏离感吗? that that could be a little bit alienating, though?
考虑到大多数人这辈子 Just seeing as most people can’t
既不能也永远无法 and won’t ever create something
创造出真正完美的东西? truly perfect in their lifetimes?
实际上, 我们相信恰恰相反 Actually, we believe it’s the exact opposite.
每个人在任何时刻都能成为神明 That anyone can be a god at any moment.
这个机会对所有人开放, The opportunity is there for everyone,
从老板到最底层的打工人 from the boss to the lowest on the masthead.
对吧, 这很合理不是吗? Yeah, it makes sense, right?
我们只是容器而已 We are only vessels.
有人天生带挂, 有人开局白板 Some of us have the goods, some of us don’t.
真是太感谢了 Thank you so much.
- 所以情况如何?采访记录整理得怎样?- 呃... - So, what’s the deal? How’s the note-taking coming? - Uh...
不, 挺好的没问题 No, it’s good. It’s good.
- 行- 嗯 - Okay. - Yeah.
我发现了超多劲爆的料 I’ve been finding a lot of really fascinating stuff.
- 嗯哼- 我在想啊, - Mmm-hmm. - I was thinking, you know,
或许可以写个番外篇... maybe I could write some sort of secondary...
类似...你主稿的配套文章 like, a... a companion piece to yours.
- 番外篇?- 对, 完全附属的内容 - Secondary piece? - Uh, yeah. Secondary, completely secondary.
专门讲境界派 Just on the Levelists.
斯坦 Stan.
跟我说实话 Be real with me.
这就是个邪教 This is a cult.
- 确实- 至少无限接近邪教 -Well, yeah. -Or damn well near one.
这也太魔幻了 Like, this is insane.
所以呢? Yeah. So?
昨晚我和约格聊了...- 约格- 嗯 So, I was talking to... - to Jorg last night. - Mmm-hmm.
那些成员的背景故事... The backstories on the members...
个个都超有料, 够我深挖好久... They’re all just so fascinating. I could just do a deep dive...
不不不不, 让我打断你停, 停, 先让我在这儿打断你 No, no, no, no. Let me stop you. Stop, stop. Let me stop you there.
我们只发一篇报道 We are publishing one story.
而你...你正在扮演 And you’re... you’re playing
一个...至关重要的角色 a... a vital role in it.
但你知道的, 所有关于这个地方 But, you know, any and everything
有意思的东西都会出现在我的报道里 that’s interesting about this place will be in my story.
- 好吧- 还有...还有... - Okay. - Plus... plus...
那群...那群穿蓝衣服的疯狂私生饭, the... the... the weird groupies in blue,
操蛋的花瓶, the fucking vases,
该死的舞蹈, 这些都不重要 god damn dancing, none of that matters
因为核心是音乐 because it’s about the music.
这才是故事, 懂吗?我是说... That’s the story, you know? I mean...
- 天呐 斯坦- 天呐 天呐 -Oh, my God. Stan. -Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
快来人帮忙! Oh, somebody help!
- 怎么了?- 快叫查伦过来! - What happened? - Have Charlan rush here.
出什么事了? What happened?
- 现在!- 天啊 拔出来 拔出来 快拔出来 - Now! - Oh, my God. Take it out, take it out, take it out.
-别!-我的老天! -No! -Oh, my goodness!
-保持呼吸 保持呼吸 -到底怎么回事? -Just breathe, just breathe. -What’s going on?
-看起来只打中肩膀...-搞什么鬼? -It looks like it only hit his shoulder... -What the fuck?
...但还是得抓紧 ...but still hurry.
深呼吸 深呼吸 保持呼吸 Just breathe, just breathe, just breathe.
别拔出来 Don’t take it out.
- 天呐 - 这是... - Oh, my God. - Oh, it’s...
非常抱歉先生 I’m so sorry, mister.
我手滑了 这是个意外 It was a mistake with my grip. It slipped.
我的天 Oh, my God.
有事吗? Yes?
艾瑞尔 来喝一杯 Ariel. Come, have a drink.
艾瑞尔 Ariel.
我们刚说应该... We were just saying we...
应该打电话到你房间邀请你过来 we should call over to your room and invite you over.
- 我们正说着呢 - 你就来了 - We were just saying that. - And here you are.
酒剩的不多了 There’s not a lot left,
不过你看上去酒量很菜 所以... but you look like a lightweight, so...
噢 我当年也装过不胜酒力的小白兔 Oh, I remember when I used to look like a lightweight.
比安卡 我们都记得八十年代那些事 Well, we all remember the ’80s, Bianca.
-去你妈的 -行吧 -Fuck you. -Okay.
-去你妈的 -敬莫雷蒂... -Fuck you. -To Moretti...
...世界上最棒的表演家 ...the best entertainer in the world,
永远的神 still the greatest of all time.
-没毛病 -莫雷蒂 -No doubt. -Moretti.
艾瑞尔 怎么了? Ariel, what’s wrong?
最好别他妈是因为那篇报道 我警告你 Oh, this better not be about the fucking article. I know that.
斯坦 有没有可能 Stan, is it possible
你受伤不是意外? that what happened to you wasn’t an accident?
-什么?-我们现在 -What? -We’re here,
在这鸟不拉屎的地方 in the middle of fucking nowhere.
他们收走了手机和笔记本 They took our cell phones. They took our laptops.
完全没法跟外界联系 We have no way of communicating with the outside world.
他们24小时监控着我们 They’re surveilling us, watching us 24/7.
八成连这个房间都装了窃听器 They’re probably fucking listening in to this room somehow.
已经有人失踪了好吗 People are fucking missing.
-别忘了这点 -啥? - Let’s not forget about that. - What?
你确定没跟我们一样喝大了吧? Are you sure you haven’t been drinking with us?
这也太离谱了 Because this is sounding a little crazy.
-本来不想说的 -抱歉 -Didn’t wanna say it. -Sorry.
事情很不对劲 Something is off.
你们完全不觉得有问题吗? Is this not alarming to you at all?
这特么难道不诡异吗? Like, is it weird or fucking strange in the least bit?
比起比尔·洛托那个装逼犯 It’s less odd to me that Bill Lotto’s pretentious ass
不屑跟我们一起听唱片这种事 thinks that he’s too good to listen to the album with the rest of us
阿尔弗雷德·莫雷蒂大费周章 than it is that the Alfred Moretti
搞这么大阵仗 did all of this
就为了偷我们手机？认真的？ to steal our cell phones or something. I mean, come on.
鬼知道他什么动机 I don’t know why he fucking did it.
你说过他们互相憎恨 You said that they hated each other.
噢对, 为个蠢事结仇 Oh, yeah, they hate each other over something so silly.
多年前 Years ago,
比尔在采访里嘲讽莫雷蒂 Bill gave an interview where he sort of made fun of Moretti
把他死去的杜宾犬做成了标本 for getting his Doberman stuffed after it died.
-噢 塔克 -没错 -Oh, Tucker. -That’s right.
对 塔克 That’s right. Tucker.
安息吧 Oh. RIP.
后来莫雷蒂被群嘲 And then, of course, Moretti was shamed a little bit
因为大家都觉得太变态 because everybody thought it was kind of strange,
-确实变态 -嗯哼 -because it’s kind of strange. -Mmm-hmm.
我浑身毛孔都在叫嚣着不对劲 This just doesn’t feel fucking right at all to me.
所以你这菜鸟才只能当记录员 Okay, and that’s why you’re the one just taking notes.
-行吧 -先别急...等下 -Okay. -Just calm... Hold on.
-怎么回事? -不知道 就是... - What is happening? - I don’t know. It’s...
观众...观众快暴动了 The crowd... the crowd is oh so upset.
因为我不登台 Upset that I’m not onstage.
耶! Yeah!
后排都睡倒一片了 The back row is half asleep.
但前排观众躁得很 But the front row is ready to rage.
耶! Yeah!
鼓手迟到一小时 The drummer was an hour late.
-在骨肉皮后座搞车震呢 -耶! -He was in the back seat of a groupie’s car. -Yeah!
聚光灯突然炸了 The spotlight just blew out.
但我的纱笼裙自带高光 But my sarong, it shines from afar.
耶! Yeah!
门票贱如草纸 The price of the ticket was low.
但下一场演出早约满 But we’re booked for another gig.
麦克风寒酸得要命 The microphone is tiny and cheap.
但它让我裆部 But it makes my bulge
显大 look big.
Bravo! Bravo!
艾瑞尔? Ariel?
爱你们哦 下次见 I love you all dearly. I hope to see you soon.
-卧槽-你...你没事吧? -Whoa. -Are you... Are you okay?
别碰我别碰我 Don’t touch me. Don’t touch me.
怎么...怎么回事? What’s... what’s wrong?
先等一下 Just, wait a minute.
听我解释行吗? Let me explain, okay?
-我要走了-艾瑞尔艾瑞尔 - I’m leaving. - Ariel. Ariel.
艾瑞尔! Ariel!
艾瑞尔 Ariel.
我必须离开 I need to leave.
为什么?发生...发生什么了?到底怎么回事? Why? What... what happened? What’s wrong?
呃, 比尔·洛托在哪? Uh, where’s Bill Lotto?
纳吉? Najee?
我猜他正在换衣服准备晚宴 I would assume he’s getting dressed for dinner.
等等, 比尔对你做了什么吗? Wait, did Bill do something to you?
没有, 他人到底在哪? No, just, where is he?
艾米丽·卡茨...艾米丽·卡茨在哪? Where’s... where’s Emily Katz?
我刚和她分开 I just left her.
她感觉好多了, 儿童秀时会过来 She’s feeling much better and will join us at the children’s show.
哦好吧 Oh. Okay.
艾瑞尔, 你... Ariel, you...
就不能跟我说说到底发生了什么吗? Can’t you tell me exactly what happened?
昨天你还好好的 You seemed just peachy yesterday.
呃, 不, 我没什么...好解释的 Um, no, I’m not, uh, explaining anything.
就是...我想走了 Just, uh, I want to go.
我现在就走 I’m gonna go.
马上动身我要离开 I am going now. I’m leaving.
很抱歉, 但现在确实走不了 I’m sorry, but that simply isn’t possible right now.
几个信徒开路易斯号进城了 A few of the believers took the Louise into town.
应该很快就回来 They should be back soon.
那这些车呢? Okay, well, what about one of those?
那些车只能开十英里 Those will get you ten miles.
剩下四十英里你得步行 You’ll have to walk the other 40.
好吧我们得想办法, 我必须走 Okay. Well, we have to figure something out, ’cause I gotta go.
这可是千载难逢的机会 This is the opportunity of a lifetime.
如果你不识好歹... If you’re too ungrateful to...
约格 Jorg.
你看不出她很害怕吗? Can’t you see she’s frightened?
显然是我们哪里做错或没做到位, And it’s obviously something we did or didn’t do,
我为此道歉并保证 so I would like to apologize for that and assure you
会尽快送你离开, that we will get you out of here
能多快就多快 as soon as we can possibly do so.
纳吉, 巴士什么时候回来? Najee, when is the bus returning?
最多四十分钟我现在就联系 40 minutes, max. I’ll call them now.
同时你联系杰夫处理飞机的事 In the meanwhile, I want you to get a hold of Jeff and deal with the plane.
加满油 Get it fueled up.
确保艾瑞尔一到机场 Make sure it’s ready to go the second we get Ariel
就能立刻起飞, 明白? to the airport, okay?
- 别顶嘴, 最高优先级- 是, 长官 - No argument, top priority. - Yes, sir.
但木偶秀怎么办? But what about the puppet show?
她...她必须离开, Well, she... she has to leave,
所以她...她这次要错过表演了 so she... she’ll miss it this time.
但我们都准备这么久了, 本来你该坐我旁边的 But we worked so hard, and you were supposed to sit next to me.
这不公平 It’s not fair.
诶等等, 或许我们可以这样 You know, maybe we can do this.
如果艾瑞尔同意的话 If Ariel agrees,
儿童活动楼是离大门最近的建筑 the children’s building is the closest one to the gate,
她可以留下来看表演直到巴士到这儿 and she could stay and watch the show until the bus got here.
如果你觉得可以的话 If you feel comfortable with that.
我在楼里能看见大门吧? I could see the entrance from the building?
我是说, 我真能看得到吗? Like, I could see it?
我发誓, 童叟无欺 Cross my heart, hope to die.
好吧, 行吧 Yeah, fine.
-太棒了!-好的 -Yes! -Okay.
约格, 你帮忙... Jorg, if you could...
谢了 Thank you.
好 Yeah.
真可爱 Cute.
好了孩子们 All right, children.
现在上演《比莉的悲剧》 Presenting The Tragedy of Billie.
好了, 我准备好了 Okay. I’m ready.
戴女士! Lady Day!
请问童年创伤是否 Tell us, has the trauma in your childhood
成就了您辉煌的音乐事业? helped you make such successful music?
从我的出身走到今天 Coming from where I’m from, to be where I’m at now,
这本身就像首动人的歌 well, I guess that’s a sweet song in itself.
但我不希望任何人经历我的童年 But I wouldn’t wish my childhood on anyone,
-即便是为了成功 -说说监狱的事吧 - even for success. - Tell us about prison.
您在牢里创作过小曲吗? Did you perform any ditties in the slammer?
我并非圣人, 这你们都知道 Well, I’m no saint. You already knew that.
监狱里固然没有圣人 And prison sure ain’t full of saints,
但外面的世界也一样 but neither is the rest of the world.
您现在还在吸毒吗? Are you still on smack?
我很高兴宣布, 此刻站在这里的我100%清醒 I’m very pleased to announce that I’m 100% sober as I stand here
并且余生都将保持清醒 and plan to finish my days exactly that way.
我为过去犯的错 I’m embarrassed and ashamed
感到羞愧难当 of the mistakes I’ve made in my past
恳请粉丝和家人尽最大努力 and ask my fans and family to forgive me
原谅我 as best as they can.
至少我正在全力弥补 I know I’m certainly trying to.
您从什么时候开始发福的? When did the weight gain start?
麦凯挥霍您的财产这事您怎么看? How do you feel about McKay blowing your fortune?
彻底破产了吗?报道说您身无分文 Are you flat broke? Reports say you’re flat broke.
比莉, 什么时候能再听您唱《奇异果》? Billie, when will we hear Strange Fruit again?
您觉得前妓女配榜样吗? Do you think a former prostitute should be a role model?
比莉!霍利迪女士! Billie! Ms. Holiday!
戴女士! Lady Day!
有东西在动 有东西在动 Something moved. Something moved.
这...这他妈是什么? What... what the fuck is that?
-什么鬼东西?-我的天 - What the fuck? - Oh, my God.
天啊 Jesus.
这...这他妈是开玩笑吗? Is... is this some kind of joke?
-什么?-里面...里面有人? -What? -Is there some... someone in there?
操 我的天 Oh, fuck. Oh, my God.
搞什么鬼? What the fuck?
耶稣基督啊 Jesus Christ.
我的老天 Oh, my God.
呃? Em?
-我的天啊-孩子们该走了 -Oh, my God. -Time to go, children.
她他妈怎么回事? What the fuck is wrong with her?
呃 我保证过会开诚布公 Um, I promised I would be an open book,
食言可不太体面 and welshing ain’t cute.
干得漂亮 小崽子们 Well done, kids.
非常...非常精彩 Very... very charming.
呃 我尽量解释 Uh, so I’ll try and explain.
不管她摄入的什么化合物 Whatever chemical compound she ingested,
呃... uh...
抱歉 科学对我来说就是"巴拉巴拉" Sorry, science is a bit of a "blah, blah, blah" to me.
简单来说 Suffice it to say
她体内所有液态物质 that whatever is wet inside her body
都在急速膨胀 is rapidly expanding.
这...这算不算准确? Is... is that more or less accurate?
-差不多-听见没? -More or less. -You see?
相信科学就会有奇迹 Wonders happen when we follow the science.
你说对吧亲爱的? Wouldn’t you say, dear?
别...你他妈在干什么? Don’t... What the fuck are you doing?
-天啊 别碰她-耶稣啊 -Oh, my God. Don’t touch her. -Jesus.
基督耶稣啊 Jesus Christ.
-约格 求你了-这疯子疯了 -Jorg, please. -He’s fucking insane.
-拿毛巾-让开 -A towel. -Move.
滚开 你们这群杂种! Move, you motherfuckers!
不!放开我! No! Let me go!
别碰我! Get off of me!
-谁都不准走!-我要回家 -Nobody leaves! -I wanna go.
放开我 Let me go.
-趴下-好的 - Stay down. - Okay.
操!快看 Fuck! Look at that.
我是说 你们快看啊 I mean, will you look at that?
为什么防水粉底 Why is it that waterproof foundation
从来都不防水? is never truly waterproof?
为什么? Why?
问得好 Great question.
而且 我... And, you know, I...
恐怕我得说句话 I must say something, I’m afraid.
呃... Um...
在场很多人费尽心血 Many of us here have worked
才打造出这场毕生难忘的盛会 very hard to make this a once-in-a-lifetime event,
但你们所有人 and I find that all of you are being
都在疯狂破坏气氛 very, very disruptive.
打扰...打扰一下 Excuse... excuse me.
-这也太抓马了吧 -放开我 -That’s dramatic. -Let me go.
我只想离开这里 I just wanna go.
拜托 这也太夸张了 Excuse me. That’s dramatic.
现在我们可以正式开始问答环节 Now, may we finally begin the Q and A
聊聊《凯撒的请求》这张专辑了吗? to discuss Caesar’s Request?
喂喂喂! Hey, hey, hey!
坐下! Sit!
我的老天 Oh, my God.
嚯! Oh!
耶稣基督啊 Jesus Christ.
让她闭嘴! Shut her up!
-扶她坐好 -中场休息结束了 -Sit her up. -Intermission is finished.
这他妈什么鬼? What the fuck is this?
"这他妈什么鬼?" "What the fuck is this?"
你刚才是这么说的?"这他妈什么鬼?" That’s what you said? "What the fuck is this?"
所以三十年来的首次采访 So, the first question
第一个问题居然是 of my first interview in 30 years is,
"这他妈什么鬼?" "What the fuck is this?"
要我说...我自己都能问得更好 You know, I... I think I could do better on my own,
不如让我来示范一下 so let’s give it a try.
呃 阿尔弗雷德·莫雷蒂先生 Uh, Mr. Alfred Moretti.
问号 Question mark.
您为什么 Why did you
要给新专辑起名叫 name your new album,
《凯撒的请求》这种名字? like, Caesar’s Request?
谢谢你的提问 Thank you for the question.
也要谢谢你, 比莉, 感谢你的邀请 And thank you, Billie, for the invite.
这是个有趣的故事 Well, it’s an interesting story.
有天我在科德角避暑时, One day, while summering on the Cape,
被一篇关于尤利乌斯·凯撒被绑架的记载 I was engrossed by an account
深深吸引住了 of the time that Julius Caesar was kidnapped.
在座的各位有谁知道 Now, does anyone here happen to know
是谁绑架了尤利乌斯·凯撒吗? who kidnapped Julius Caesar?
海盗 Pirates.
是海盗干的 Pirates.
童言无忌却一语道破 From the mouths of babes.
你说得太对了, 艾瑞尔·艾克顿 You’re absolutely right, Ariel Ecton.
那让我来考考你, Now, let me ask you,
呃, 你知道凯撒获释后 uh, do you happen to know how Julius Caesar responded
是怎么回应的吗? once he’d been freed?
他带着军队杀了回去 He went back with his army.
去做什么呢? To do what?
可别让我们失望啊 Don’t disappoint us, now.
他杀光了所有绑架他的人 He killed all of his kidnappers.
呃, 准确说是把他们全钉上了十字架 Um, he crucified them, actually.
一个都没放过 Every single one of them.
没有夸张, 没有那些 No hyperbole, no foundational myth
什么水上行走的神话传说 about a man walking on water.
就是简单粗暴地全给钉死了 Just simple, actual crucifixion for all of them.
现在告诉我, 老师的宠儿, Now tell me, teacher’s pet,
我即将要押上一个超级大的赌注... on whom I’m about to place a big, big bet...
这个故事最精彩的部分是什么? what’s the best part of the story?
呃... Um...
好吧, 最精彩的部分 Well, the best part
在于 of the story is that
绑架尤利乌斯·凯撒的海盗 the pirates who kidnapped the Julius Caesar
以为他只是个普通老百姓 thought he was a commoner.
觉得他跟自己平起平坐 They thought they were his equal.
正是因为这个误解 And because of this misconception,
他们向凯撒索要的赎金 they asked the same ransom for Julius Caesar
跟随便哪个罗马张三李四要的价码一样 that they would’ve asked for any Joe Schmo Roman.
这意味着凯撒不得不 And this meant that Caesar was obligated
要求提高自己的赎金 to demand a raise in his ransom
好匹配他的身份地位 so that it would be commensurate with his position.
这说明什么道理呢?嗯... And what does that tell us? Well...
这说明贵族老爷 It tells us that royalty,
就算落到了乡巴佬手里 even when at the mercy of peasants,
也还是贵族老爷, 对吧? is still royalty, doesn’t it?
是不是这个理? Doesn’t it?
怎么样啊小朋友们, 这故事带劲吗? Now, what about that story, kids?
刚才的木偶戏又如何呢? And how about that puppet show?
《比利悲剧》 The Tragedy of Billie.
我觉得这次采访相当成功 I think that interview went rather well.
-太棒了, 太精彩的采访了 -不 -Wonderful, wonderful interview. -No.
求你了, 求求你 Please, please.
-放我走吧 -斯坦 -Please let me go. -Stan.
求你了, 求求你 Please. Please.
不, 不要, 求你了 No, no, please.
对不起 I’m sorry.
求你了 Please.
斯坦, 不要 Stan. No.
贝儿 Belle.
♪ 简宝贝, 我怂了 ♪ ♪ Baby Jane, I lost my nerve ♪
♪ 听听我的心跳 别管我说的话 ♪ ♪ Hear my heart Please ignore my words ♪
♪ 我们私定终身 那是黄金岁月 ♪ ♪ We jumped the broom That was the best of days ♪
♪ 自从分手后 我就像丢了魂 ♪ ♪ Since we broke up I’ve been in a daze ♪
♪ 简宝贝 别把猫带走 ♪ ♪ Baby Jane Please don’t take the cat ♪
《欢迎来到莱茵石庄园》 Welcome to the Rhinestone Chalet,
《莫雷蒂童年故居改造的互动博物馆》 Moretti’s childhood home turned interactive museum.
《知道吗?阿尔弗雷德的老家在伊利诺伊州皮奥里亚》 Did you know that Alfred’s roots come from Peoria, Illinois?
...直到那天你才感受到 ...feel to you until that day.
我是说, 直到那一刻 I mean, until that moment.
绕回来再说 Circle back around.
羡慕死了 So jealous.
你还是那么美 You’re still pretty.
...我们美丽造物的牺牲 ...sacrifice of our beautiful creation.
你看, 我们没法, 呃, 把画布擦干净 See, we can’t, uh, un-paint a canvas
也没法把弹错的音符收回来 or un-play a chord.
如果犯了错 And if a mistake has been made,
不管是你的还是别人的 either yours or someone else’s,
唯一能修正错误的方法 the only way to rectify it
就是创造更美的事物 is to make something beautiful.
我曾在全球各大艺术圣殿 Now, I’ve studied at every temple of taste
潜心钻研 in the entire world.
翻遍所有现存的圣物匣 I’ve picked over every reliquary that exists.
但从未见过比你们这些珍珠更美的存在 But I’ve never seen anything as beautiful as you pearls.
我们无法预知明天 We don’t know what tomorrow will bring.
或许大家还能重聚... Maybe we’ll all be together...
听我说 Listen to me.
到大门后右转 明白吗? When you get to the gate, make a right, okay?
然后朝着光亮走 记住了? And then, go until you see the light, all right?
但求那是绝美景象 But let’s hope it’s something beautiful.
敬我们在沙漏中的时光 To our time in the sand.
推我一把 Push me.
干杯 Cheers.
喂 Hey.
救命啊!快来人! Help, help, help!
-你是谁?-我刚从屋里逃出来 - Who are you? - I was in the house.
里面死了好多人 我们得赶紧走 I was there, and people are dead, and we have to go.
-你当时在场?-对 我就在现场 -You were in there? -Yes, I was in there.
天啊你在流血 受伤了吗? Holy shit, you’re bleeding. Are you hurt?
-当然受伤了!-莫雷蒂受伤了吗? - Yes, I am hurt! - Is Moretti hurt?
他伤得很重 必须马上撤离 Yes, he’s hurt, so we have to go.
-你见到莫雷蒂了?-快离开这里 - You met Moretti? - We have to leave.
等等 他有没有做那个扭臀动作? Wait, did he do the wiggle?
我赌他肯定扭了 I bet he did the wiggle.
你听过那首新歌吗... Did you hear the new song...
实在抱歉! I’m so sorry!
你思考过为什么那个Levelist当晚要帮你逃脱吗? Do you think about why that Levelist helped you escape that night?
还是说你在刻意回避那段记忆? Or do you mentally try not to go back to that time?
可能两者都有吧 说不清 Maybe a mix of both. I don’t know.
这个月我接受了...得有上百次采访 I’m... This is, like, my millionth interview this month,
状态不好请多包涵 so you have to forgive me.
新书宣传期实在是... Book tours are...
累垮了 Exhausting.
-确实累人-没错 精疲力尽 -Yeah, exhausting. -Yes, I’m tired.
所以 我必须问... So, you know I gotta ask...
书中写的重返庄园的情节都是真实的吗? Is that how it really happened when you went back to the compound?
完全...完全如实记录 It’s... it’s exactly as I wrote it.
他就那样独自坐在那里 And he was actually just sitting there alone,
还穿着白西装弹钢琴? still in the white suit, playing the piano?
虽然这话我说过无数遍了 I do feel like I’ve said this a million times at this point,
但当时确实...魔幻至极 but it was, uh, surreal.
警方至今没找到任何Levelist成员的尸体 Cops haven’t been able to locate a single Levelist body.
连当时在门口的那个狂热粉丝也下落不明 They still haven’t found the fan who was at the gate.
-毫无线索-嗯 - Just nothing. - Hmm.
呃 抱歉 Um, sorry.
-介意我...-哦 请便 - Do you mind if I... - Oh, yeah.
谢了 Thanks.
喂?我是艾瑞尔·艾克顿 Hello? This is Ariel Ecton.
艾瑞尔猜猜我是谁 Ariel. Guess who.
我是索莱达·优素福, 从阳光明媚的加州马里布打来的 It’s Soledad Yusef calling from sunny Malibu, California.
这个周一早晨过得如何呀? And how do you find yourself this Monday morning?
亲爱的?在听吗? My love? Hello?
- 你有何贵干?- 哦哟, 今早火气挺冲啊 - What do you want? - Ooh. Someone’s spicy this morning.
不过我相信你更想知道的是-- But I believe it’s more of what you want.
你不是为了写小说 Didn’t you send in
提交了六次采访申请, 想约见莫雷蒂先生吗? six interview requests to sit down with Mr. Moretti for your novel?
算你走运莫雷蒂先生今晚愿意在雷诺市 Well, you’re in luck. Mr. Moretti would like to sit down this evening
高危州立医院接受采访 at the high-risk state hospital in Reno.
要我说, 那地方跟中世纪刑讯室没两样 It’s like a medieval torture chamber, if you ask me.
说真的, 这些州政府对待人的方式该被起诉 Honestly, these states should be tried for the way they treat people.
简直令人发指 It’s just absolutely abhorrent.
索莱达, 你应该清楚 Soledad, you are aware
你的委托人阿尔弗雷德·莫雷蒂, that your client, Alfred Moretti,
已经承认谋杀了五位无辜者, pled guilty to the murder of five innocent people,
试图杀害我, 还被怀疑 tried to kill me, and is suspected
煽动数百名境界派信徒集体自杀? of leading hundreds of Levelists to mass suicide?
他很有激情嘛 He’s passionate.
再见啦, 小可爱照顾好自己 Ciao, my darling. Take care of yourself.
如他们所言, 祝好 Salutations, as they say.
哦, 压力山大 Oh, heavy.
咱们开始吧? Shall we get started?
蟒蛇皮 Python.
- 你说什么?- 你的小说里写到... - Excuse me? - Well, in your novel, you wrote that when...
我们初次见面那天 the first day we met
我穿着米白色鳄鱼皮靴, that I was wearing cream-colored alligator boots,
但事实上那是烟灰色蟒蛇皮靴 but in fact, they were smoke-colored python boots.
当然, 外行人很容易搞混, Now, of course, that’s an easy mistake to make for an untrained eye,
但, 呃, 我绝不会犯这种错简直难以想象... but, uh, I would never. It’s unimaginable...
你说我的"小说"? In my "novel," you said?
在我这本320页的非虚构作品里, In my 320-page non-fiction text,
你最大的不满居然是靴子材质? your biggest gripe is with the material of your boots?
知道吗, 建设性批评 You know, it’s just, a little constructive criticism
又不会要人命, 艾瑞尔 never killed anyone, Ariel.
行吧 Okay.
嗯... Um...
我没指望你像正常人一样悔过, I didn’t expect you to be remorseful like a normal person,
但我来这里是为了揭露真相, but I came here to try to report the truth
给受害者家属一个交代... so that there’s closure for the families and...
顺便多卖几本书 And to sell a few more books.
- 这个...- 艾瑞尔, 当你兜着圈子 - Well... - Ariel, while you circle around and around
回避那个 the one question
你铁定想问的问题时...很快你就会明白... that you most assuredly came here to ask me... Very quickly...
原始人选首领的方式 Primitive man chose their leader
和动物选头领如出一辙... in the same way that animals chose their leader...
呃, 蛮力至上 uh, brute strength.
嗯, 我...我懂达尔文理论 Yeah, I... I’m familiar with Darwin’s theory.
呃...这跟你是个杀人犯有什么关系? Uh, what does that have to do with you being a murderer?
人类进化了 Man evolved.
文明进步了 Humanity evolved.
嗯, 它, 呃, 建立了政府 Um, it, uh, created government
还有规章制度和法律 and rules and law.
随着这些事物的出现, 那么对于 And with those things, then the criteria
领导者所需素质的标准也随之改变 for what was needed in a leader changed.
所以, 从原始本能进化到了左脑思维 So, it went from this to left brain.
想当总统？得先上常春藤名校 To be president, you have to go to an Ivy League school
拿个常春藤法律学位 and get a little Ivy League law degree
好向我们这些平民百姓显摆 to signal to the rest of us, the peons,
呃, 证明这是个聪明人 uh, that this is the smart person.
但看看我们现在什么样 But look at where we are.
当今世界真的在燃烧 Today’s world is burning, literally.
文盲率创新高, 社会分裂前所未有 Illiteracy is at its highest. We’ve never been more divided.
永无休止的战争, 问题数不完 We have permanent war, and the list goes on.
显然, 这套左脑思维的评判标准, So, clearly, the metric, this left-brain metric,
彻底失败了 failed miserably.
但有个解决方案 But there is an answer.
新的进化方向 A new evolution.
所以不会再或左脑思维 So, won’t be this anymore or this left brain
而是右脑思维 but this right brain
让最有创造力的人掌权 where the most creative are in charge.
听着, 我可不会坐在这儿假装没看过斯坦那篇老文章 Look, I’m not just gonna sit here and act like I didn’t find Stan’s old article
他说《倾斜》这张专辑被高估了... where he referred to Tilt as overrated,
比安卡被狗仔拍的丑照, Bianca’s rather unflattering paparazzi shots.
真的太丑了丑爆了 Not good. Not too pretty.
别忘了克拉拉还嘲笑过你秃头呢 And let’s not forget Clara’s digs about your bald head.
就算你再会扭, 杀了这么多人 And even you can’t wiggle your way free
也休想脱身 after murdering hundreds of people.
我没杀那么多人 I didn’t murder hundreds of people.
斯坦·沙利文、克拉拉·阿姆斯特朗、 You didn’t murder Stan Sullivan, Clara Armstrong,
比安卡·泰森、艾米丽·卡茨和比尔·洛托都不是你杀的? Bianca Tyson, Emily Katz, and Bill Lotto?
哦对, 这些人是我杀的 Oh, yeah, I murdered them.
你该明白的, 艾瑞尔, 你的大作 You should know your masterpiece, Ariel,
正是我们这个故事的开始 is also the introduction to our story.
没人会为谋杀开脱 No one will condone murder.
但如果足够劲爆, 他们就会津津乐道 But if it’s scandalous enough, they’ll never stop talking about it.
再说了 你总不能因为读本十字军东征的书 Besides, you’re not gonna stop becoming Catholic
就改信天主教吧 ’cause you read a book about the Crusades.
你都够判五次无期了 You’re serving a life sentence five times over.
不如痛快交代尸体在哪? Why not just tell us where the bodies are?
境界派的人呢? Where are the Levelists?
到处都是 Around.
我们星散各地 却仍心心相连 栽培后辈 We’re spread out, but still connected to teach the young
开枝散叶 and sprout new chapters,
传承濒危 to preserve dying crafts,
启迪人心 抚慰灵魂 to inspire and comfort,
要点燃这腔中二热血, i> to fan the flames of raw enthusiasm,
得盯紧那些妨碍天选之人的家伙 to closely monitor those who obstruct the divinely burdened.
不是躲藏, 是蛰伏 Not hiding but waiting.
等待破晓的曙光 Waiting to better tomorrow.
所以香槟杯里装的到底是什么? So, what was in the champagne glasses, then?
香槟啊 Champagne.
好吧 -哦 -Okay. -Oh.
才华是免罪金牌 With talent comes forgiveness.
才华越耀眼 The bigger the talent,
救赎越彻底 the more complete the forgiveness.
"层级"终将星火燎原 Level will grow and grow.
我们只是...呃... We just, uh...
需要有人来开第一枪 needed someone to get the ball rolling.
所以呢... So, um...
拜托 你懂的 Come on. You get it.
为什么选中我? So, why me?
迪斯科 Disco.
两个原因 Two reasons, really.
一个为组织 一个为私心 One for us, one for me.
组织需要纯净的容器 For us, we felt you were a pure vessel,
未被名利污染的灵魂 completely uncorrupted by success,
远离流量至上的肮脏游戏 uncorrupted by cheap shots for clicks.
而我的私心是... For me, while looking through your background,
在你履历里读到学区委员的 I read a story you’d written about a school board lady.
-记得吗? -卡罗尔·雷戈? -Remember that? -Carol Reggo?
那时你还没进《J》杂志 文章不到500字 That piece was less than 500 words. It was before I was even at J.
你形容她的下巴 You wrote that her chin was
"精致得恰到好处" "delightfully inconspicuous."
而我需要这样的文笔呵护我的下颌线 And I needed my chin in good hands.
当一代人遇上惊天惨 Once in a generation, a tragedy so compelling occurs,
全世界都为之战栗 it grabs the entire world’s attention.
多数人谴责数年前的暴行 Most people condemn the horrific events that took place a few years ago,
却有越来越多的人开始共情凶手 while a growing minority sympathize with the guilty party.
毕竟《凯撒的请求》专辑已卖出数百万张 After all, Caesar’s Request has sold millions of copies since its release.
但唯一共识是... But the one thing we can all agree on...
下一位嘉宾是颗巨星 Our next guest is a star.
她的新书刚出版就霸榜 Her new book was an instant bestseller,
除非你住火星上 否则该知道了 but unless you’ve been living on Mars, you already know that.
埃克顿女士早上好 恭喜您 Ms. Ecton, good morning. Congratulations.
今天能采访您实在太激动了 I’m so thrilled to be sitting down with you today.
天啊《流沙岁月》真是本大胆又绝美的小说 I mean, Our Time in the Sand is such a daring, beautiful novel.
写出全民热议的作品是什么感觉? What does it feel like to have written the book that everybody’s talking about?
埃克顿女士? Ms. Ecton?
♪ 为你搞砸的一切干杯 ♪ ♪ Congratulations on the mess You made of things ♪
♪ 我正试图重组 这满目疮痍 ♪ ♪ I’m trying to reconstruct The air and all that brings ♪
♪ 氧化反应是 你应付的代价 ♪ ♪ And oxidation is The compromise you own ♪
♪ 但这场盛宴开始散发 ♪ ♪ But this is beginning To feel ♪
♪ 饿犬乞食的味道 ♪ ♪ Like the dog wants a bone ♪
♪ 唱 ♪ ♪ Say ♪
♪ 啦 啦 啦 啦 啦 啦 啦 ♪ ♪ La, la, la, la La, la, la, la ♪
♪ 啦 啦 啦 啦 啦 啦 啦 ♪ ♪ La, la, la, la, la La, la, la ♪
♪ 啦 啦 啦 啦 啦 啦 ♪ ♪ La, la, la, la La, la, la, la ♪
♪ 啦, 啦, 啦, 啦, 啦 啦, 啦, 啦 ♪ ♪ La, la, la, la, la La, la, la ♪
♪ 你硬核装逼 转头骚操作不停 ♪ ♪ You force your fire and then You falsify your deeds ♪
♪ 你的套路全是 大型社死现场 ♪ ♪ Your methods dot The disconnect ♪
♪ 疯狂打脸人设 ♪ ♪ From all your creeds ♪
♪ 命运疯狂填坑 喂饱空虚黑洞 ♪ ♪ And fortune strives to fill The vacuum that it feeds ♪
♪ 但这感觉就像 ♪ ♪ But this is beginning To feel ♪
♪ 二哈挣脱狗绳 ♪ ♪ Like the dog’s lost a lead ♪
♪ 开腔 ♪ ♪ Say ♪
♪ 啦, 啦, 啦, 啦 啦, 啦, 啦, 啦 ♪ ♪ La, la, la, la La, la, la, la ♪
♪ 啦, 啦, 啦, 啦, 啦 啦, 啦, 啦 ♪ ♪ La, la, la, la, la La, la, la ♪
♪ 啦, 啦, 啦, 啦 啦, 啦, 啦, 啦 ♪ ♪ La, la, la, la La, la, la, la ♪
♪ 啦, 啦, 啦, 啦, 啦 啦, 啦, 啦 ♪ ♪ La, la, la, la, la La, la, la ♪
♪ 这感觉就像 ♪ ♪ This is beginning To feel like ♪
♪ 网抑云单曲循环到天明 ♪ ♪ The long-winded blues Of the never ♪
♪ 这感觉就像 ♪ ♪ This is beginning To feel like ♪
♪ 毒蛇缓缓缠身 ♪ ♪ It’s curling up slowly ♪
♪ 精准锁喉 窒息警告 ♪ ♪ And finding a throat To choke ♪
♪ 这感觉就像 ♪ ♪ This is beginning To feel like ♪
♪ 网抑云单曲循环到天明 ♪ ♪ The long-winded blues Of the never ♪
♪ 暴走列车濒临脱轨 ♪ ♪ Barely controlled Locomotive ♪
♪ 生吞活剥整个画面 惊飞寒鸦吹散硝烟 ♪ ♪ Consuming the picture and Blowing the crows, the smoke ♪
♪ 这感觉就像 ♪ ♪ This is beginning To feel like ♪
♪ 网抑云单曲循环到天明 ♪ ♪ The long-winded blues Of the never ♪
♪ 祖安爆破专业团队 专治各种不服 ♪ ♪ Static explosion devoted To crushing the broken ♪
♪ 直接超度 送你去异世界 ♪ ♪ And shoving their souls To ghost ♪
♪ 被永恒化 被物 你的目光如此远大 ♪ ♪ Eternalized, objectified You set your sights so high ♪
♪ 但这渐渐开始像是 ♪ ♪ But this is beginning To feel like ♪
♪ 杠杆上崩落的螺栓 ♪ ♪ The bolt busted loose From the lever ♪
♪ 不必介意 死亡教授 ♪ ♪ Never mind, Death professor ♪
♪ 你的构造完美 我的尘埃更佳 ♪ ♪ Your structure’s fine My dust is better ♪
♪ 你的受害者飞得那么高 ♪ ♪ Your victim flies so high ♪
♪ 只为俯瞰谁是下一个 ♪ ♪ All to catch a bird’s-eye View of who’s next ♪
♪ 你何必在意 死亡教授 ♪ ♪ Never you mind Death professor ♪
♪ 爱即生命 我的爱更胜一筹 ♪ ♪ Love is life My love is better ♪
♪ 你的猎物翱翔天际 ♪ ♪ Your victim flies so high ♪
♪ 双眸如钻 难辨下个目标 ♪ ♪ Eyes could be the diamonds Confused with who’s next ♪
♪ 无需烦忧 死亡教授 ♪ ♪ Never you mind Death professor ♪
♪ 你的避震完美 我的支架更稳 ♪ ♪ Your shocks are fine My struts are better ♪
♪ 你的虚构高飞入云 ♪ ♪ Your fiction flies so high ♪
♪ 诸位该找个医生 谁病了 谁是下个 ♪ ♪ Y’all could use a doctor Who’s sick, who’s next? ♪
♪ 不必费心 死亡教授 ♪ ♪ Never you mind Death professor ♪
♪ 通电的爱 我的更炽热 ♪ ♪ Electrified My love is better ♪
♪ 它已结晶 我亦如此 ♪ ♪ It’s crystallized, so am I ♪
♪ 万物皆可成钻 与下个目标熔铸 ♪ ♪ All could be the diamond Fused with who’s next ♪
♪ 这渐渐开始像是 ♪ ♪ This is beginning To feel like ♪
♪ 永恒失败者的黎明 ♪ ♪ The dawn Of a loser forever ♪
♪ 这渐渐开始像是 ♪ ♪ This is beginning To feel like ♪
♪ 永恒卢瑟的破晓时分 ♪ ♪ The dawn of a loser forever ♪
♪ 这渐渐开始像是 ♪ ♪ This is beginning To feel like ♪
♪ 败犬永昼的开端 ♪ ♪ The dawn of a loser forever ♪
♪ 这种感觉开始变得像是 ♪ ♪ This is beginning To feel like ♪
♪ 永恒失败者的黎明 ♪ ♪ The dawn of a loser forever ♪
♪ 这种感觉开始变得像是 ♪ ♪ This is beginning To feel like ♪
♪ 永恒失败者的黎明 ♪ ♪ The dawn of a loser forever ♪